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Sarah Nielle Feb 2015
I'm so tired of the judgment
Of the constant expectations
Of the people that claim to love me
So much treating me like I am
Nothing.
Like I'm a dark hole with a short lasting existence.
Well if I am a dark hole,I last forever and
There's no changing me.
Stop trying because I can be the rarest
Form of black hole.
I can destroy everything in my wake
And feel no remorse.
mae Jan 2015
I hate her.*
I know I shouldn't since it's not her fault.
But I just do.

She fights her inner demons.
I just annoy her, her prickly voice being too much.
I just can't help it.

She threatens to **** herself.
And all I do is edge her on, one minute by the next.
It's hard not too.

She sneaks out to have ***,
I scoff and tell her to, "Get a ******* education."
And she breaks the tiniest bit more.

She swallowed pills to end her life,
it didn't work, because we knew what was happening.
And then we all snapped.

She blames it on her condition,
throwing fits and telling us she'll **** us in our sleep.
And I believe her.

She's mental, a psychopath, a verbal abuser,
who knows what'll happen the next time someone fights with her.
No one, not even Him.

She believes she's lower than the dogs,
and I tell her she's lower than the ground.
Because I don't understand. .

She calls me a "spoiled princess" and blames me.
I get where she's coming from after all I've done.
And trust me, I'd blame me too.
I had no intention to be offensive to anyone if that's how you took it; my sister's living with BP NOS (Bi Polar ; Not Otherwise Specified) and everyday is living hell for everyone in the house. This poem is how I feel about it, how someone actually feels living with someone with a sibling who struggles with a Bi Polar disorder.

It's heartbreaking, especially my reactions.
In which I don't take too much pride into either.
Reanna Jan 2015
I remember the first time I saw you
perfect in all of your ways and
the feeling of your hands with mine
laced, intertwined
I wanted nothing more
but to make you mine

Scared, terrified as time excelled
the more I got to know you
the harder I fell

I didn't understand, I couldn't express
that when you're at your worst
i still think you're at your best
you're grays shine in glitter
and your sunrays are always bright
I accept you completely
in darkness and in light

No pressure, no rush
I respect you and us
You're flaws to me
are beautiful fairy dust

I am sorry, from the bottom of my being
for any nonsense i left you feeling
and as we both got hurt
we took this time apart
to mend each other
to mend our heart

In this process,
this dance of life,
I choose to show you
acceptance and love
through happiness and strife

If my sorry is not enough
I know my actions can be instead
I ask my heart where to go
and to you I am led

Still scary, still terrifying  
but I accept responsibility for the past
I trust in this love
and will do anything to make it last

Some say forever is impossible
with us I believe that is not the case
You will forever be the only person
that my hands with lace
"I saw that you were perfect so I loved you. I saw that you were imperfect, and I loved you even more"
Ena Alysopriono Jan 2015
You tell me it's okay
You're fine
But you are lying
It hurts when no one notices
I know
I always thought
I was good at seeing when others were hurting
It was one thing I could do
Be a good friend
But now I know
I am not even that
I am so sorry
I wish I could take your pain
And keep it for myself
Bear the burden you don't deserve
Shelter you both from the world
Stop you from hurting
I can't
So it turns out
I'm just a ****** person
You should probably hate me. If you don't I am the luckiest person alive.
Ena Alysopriono Jan 2015
I am so sorry
I should have seen it
I should have called more
But I let you slip away
I was too wrapped up in my own problems
And you two seemed so happy
I just kind of stopped calling
Usually I called when I was sad
Hearing you
Made me feel better
But the emptiness came right back when the line went dead
I should have pressed harder
Secrets can be necessary
But they can also tear you apart
Like knives hitting the target of our friendship
Please stop throwing your knives
And I will stop mine
And we can patch up the holes
We left behind
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
WickedHope Jan 2015
I feel like you're mad at me
But you know
You know how I am
You know that I'm in a fractured state of mind
You know that I don't remember what I say late at night
you know that I have to delete our conversations because my phone is stupid
You know that I can't accept myself
You know that I need someone patient to calm me down
You know that I'm hard to fight
You know that I've been ****** up for the past 11 years
You know that I'm constantly terrified of everything
You know that I am most afraid of being left alone
You know how I am
And I feel like you're mad at me
I don't really remember what I said, but clearly I made you mad at me. I wish you'd just talk to me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're all I have right now, please. I feel like everyone else is gone. I just want someone who cares. I just want a friend. Please... text, call, email... I'm sorry I'm the neediest person ever. I'm sorry I'm ****** up and hate myself, I just don't know how to do anything else. I'm sorry I told you about the lists and now you think I'm a worthless idiot. I'm sorry I never had the nerve to properly chase you -- not that you ever wanted me, even though there was a time I thought you might. Please talk to me. Please. I'm freaking out even though I have no right to. I'm sorry that I can't just leave you alone, because I know that'd probably be easier for you. I'm sorry I'm broken. I'm sorry I cry so much lately... the girl who never cried. I just want us to be better friends. Tell me what you want, anything, name it, even if it's for me to go away. Outright say it and I will. I'm sorry I always want too much of you. I'm sorry you hate me now. I'm sorry, I really am.
- - -
Sorry the note's long.
Caitlin Jan 2015
I fear that this feeling inside of me won't go away.
I fear that this depression will consume me.
I fear that I will bleed until I come to my senses.
I fear what would happen of people found out..
I fear what you, whose reading this will say.
I fear me.
I fear this change.
I fear me.
Please don't take this the wrong way....
Tina Marie Jan 2015
Torn between the most amazing man  I can't have
And one who is almost as great but right here
How do I justify waiting for love
When someone nearby holds me dear
The one far away holds my soul in his hands
But the one in my bed loves me so
I can't take the pain; I don't know
If the distant one will ever be here
So I'm just letting go
Something I've been struggling with.
WickedHope Jan 2015
I wish there was an easier way to explain my feelings.
I'm the kind of person who doesn't get a second glance,
I am the girl who looks familiar but is a forgotten name.
But these past couple of days, you've made me feel like
more,
more than that.

More than me.
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