I don't miss you
I repeat over and over to myself as my hands are trembling behind my wet blurry eyes
He was boring
I tell them as I iron my face to show indifference
I pop these pills hoping I can at least dream you here
I don't rely on you
I don't know when you're coming back
I don't think you're ever coming back.
I ask myself why I stay wrapped around you suffocating you blue untl you see stars and my eyes become the moon
I don't.........
       I don't know.

We call you crush
'Cause you break hearts in a hush
Of your simply pretty voice
I have to bury my feelings I have no choice
Your simple yet beautiful stares make me flush.

I don't know what to
I don't know what to feel
I don't know who will listen
I don't know who will understand
I don't know who I am
I don't know how to explain
I don't know where I should be
All I know is my mind is full of things,
thoughts that almost kills me
regrets that starts to haunt me
Nobody understands me,
nobody listens,
I am so tired listening to others,
why can't they even listen to me?
I am so tired,
I don't know if I can still make it
or should I really give up.
I don't know, wishing that somebody will help me.

I don't cry in tight corners
I don't sob when I'm alone
Instead, I think
Constantly ... Of everything

I think I have a gift
If I talk, no one listens
I'm the background
No on knows what it's like

I just go along, forcing myself
Being like others causes a disturbance
Instead, I think
Continuously ... Of everything

My thoughts are outlandish
They make sense to me
I keep thinking
Everyday ... Of everything.

What is misery?
Why it is the darkest pit of our hearts and souls.
We are dragged towards it,
Grasping hopelessly at something to hold.
Almost as if Achlys herself is lurking about
Pulling us further, never intending to let us out.
No, rather, we are pushed towards it
Forced to accept this fate by the rest of them
It’s ironic, in a world where we are told to be free
We are still forced into a fatalistic indoctrination
Believing all the while, that we are going to be fine
When in fact, we are going to be escorted to self-damnation
With a spear in our back and a smile on our face
It’s sickening, isn't it?
This twisted image of the human race.
We lie and steal and cheat and **** each other,
But for what?
What is the purpose of this self-destructive behavior?
It is the false salvation of our misery,
Our false belief that the misery of others is
Evidence of our superiority,
Providing an escape from our own melancholy

I don't know if I can feel love anymore.
I know that there's many people who care a lot about me,
but I don't know where the warm fuzzy feeling in my chest went.
I only feel pain.
I only feel my ghosts replace the air in my lungs with poison,
as they curl up inside me, so I can't breathe.

I don't know if I can feel relaxed anymore.
I know there are times where I'm not completely tense,
but I don't know how to relax my shoulders,
because they're always tensed up to protect me.
I only feel anxiety gripping me tighter everyday.
I only feel fuzzy, not in my heart, but in my head.

I don't know what happened to the good feelings,
because all I feel is pain.

I had this story in my head
I had this story on my heart
Where you were with me
Even when it all fell apart

I couldn't picture you with anyone else
But Satan is sweet
Giving me memories that never happened
Like the remains of your kiss on my cheek

I told myself I didn't care anymore
Oh a long time ago
But whether this is real
Or a joke
I'm not laughing
I can't get you out of my head

See I had this image
Where we ruled the world
We were just, brave, and true
You were compassionate too
We raised the heirs to the throne
To be as such

One time I had a nightmare
The kind where you wake in a cold sweat
You were asking people to help however they could
You were getting married
To the loveliest of girls

You wouldn't look me in the eye
Not even when I cried
I woke to tears and shaking hands
I prayed that it would never happen again

I tell myself that all I want is your happiness
But then I turn and think that I'm the only one who will make you so content
I want to only think of you when I see you
But I can't get you out of my **** head

GET OUT

I want to sleep
I'm tired but now that I've opened these floodgates I don't know if I'll shut my eyes until dawn

I have pains in my stomach
I feel knives in my ribs

I want you to love me
But you can't if you never did

Take these thoughts from my head
Give them to her
She's done something to deserve them
She's not just a convenience
Like a mat on which mud is scraped from boots
She's in the right place at the right time to love you and to have you love her too

So now again I feel empty
When I told myself I never should
I feel like I've been used
Though you never touched me like the other boys would

My thoughts are muddled
Like the feelings in my chest
As I lay trying to sleep
One day may I find rest

Now I'll stop rhyming like an idiot
Climb out of the valley in my heart
Find a boy one day
Who has the guts to tell me whether or not he loved me from the start