Insight?

Maybe if I had looked for you,
Thought this through,
You´d have come by,
I´d have caught your eye,
You´d come around-
Finally we´d be bound:
A heap of cold bones,
You´d find headstones,
My flesh so long rotten,
Just like always, forgotten.

I dream, I dream, I dream
I dream for a life much bigger than this
And for the hope of the Lady Wealth's kiss
To be known by both Mister and Miss
I dream for a life much bigger than this
I want a life with a forever lasting smile
A goal, a dream that'll be worth my while
Sailing across a sea of gold
Knowing there's no other way this can unfold
From now on I'll only be winning
Just you wait, this is just the beginning
I don't dream of love
I don't dream of health
I don't dream of fame
I don't dream of wealth
I won't cross paths with the black cat's hiss
Because I dream of a life much bigger than this
I've dreamt of a life much bigger than this
I'm dreaming of a life much bigger than this
This is my redemption, myself I will redeem
I dream, I dream, I dream

those pensive ones
as they seem to me
birds on the wire
gazing this way
     and that
lost invariably
to their ennui
their melancholy
their obliviousness
to the point
some may say
     pointlessness
of their existence
in these moments
without reason
or incentive enough
to prompt one
     or the other
to take to the wing
embracing the bluster
of the ever-blowing winds
rather they sustain
this idle malingering
waiting listlessly
for that which none
can know

how i wish to be a harp note in a russian symphony
how i wish to be a dragon, longer than six feet
how i wish to be the line that is on that narrow face
how i wish it wasn’t that easy to find someone to replace
me
how i wish the moon would stop and tell me the truth
how i wish i heard Jesus’s name from the mouth of you
how i wish that we didn’t have to lose some seeds along the way
how i wish the death would come fast and then be on its way
how i wish my hands weren’t so shaky when i speak
how i wish the words that slip from my lips didn’t puncture me
how i wish time could slow down just for me to catch a break
how i wish the sea would settle down when i am in its wake
how i wish i could be more
how i wish you could adore
me
how i wish this world was more forgiving
how i wish i could fly
how i wish i knew why
how i wish i would stop wishing for an end
to something that just began