My head was pounding
My body ached
I was a stumbling, mumbling wreck
I needed help
And badly
And decided, what the heck

I ventured to St. Peter's
to get warm from the snows
You see, I'm not really religious
and the truth, the church was close

I sat there in ****** silence
My head just throbbing silently
I didn't even notice the woman
Who slid in next to me

She nodded, and knelt down a bit
You could hear her when she rose
Her body racked with aches and pain
Like me, from head to toe

She smiled, started praying
I sat dead still, but listened in
It's not because I am religious
I wanted to hear her sin

She finished, rose and smiled
Lit a candle on her way
I smiled back through cloudiness
I didn't have that much to say

I figured I could try it,
I'm one for anything new
I mean, talking out to no one
What harm could my talk do

"Dear father, forgive me for my sin
Our father"... I tried to start
"Just say what's in your insides son
That's the best way for a start"

Behind me, sat the woman
I didn't hear her come on back
"He's listening for all you ask
He'll get you back on track"

I told her, I just came in
To get dry and get warm
She smiled, said "so, while you're here"
"tell your tale, wait out the storm"

I said it would be worthless
I was past the point of no return
I would not go up to heaven
I was going where you burn

She said "Everyone is worth redemption"
"Even though they do not think"
"They are still a child of Jesus"
"He'll return you from the brink"

I sat and talked for hours
Told her all about my woes
She got up twice, lit more candles
I told her of my highs and lows

She said "regardless of your preference"
"God, won't ask your name"
"You do not need a reference"
"And you'll be really glad you came"

She told me how to start a prayer
To share my story with the Lord
I knelt, followed directions
I was really quite absorbed

I finished, rose and turned to her
There was now a man where she had sat
I asked him if he saw her
In her black scarf and blue hat

He said "The seat was empty"
"I saw no lady there"
I said "a little lady"
"with black and silver hair"

He smiled, said "come this way"
He took me out into the hall
And there I saw her picture
In a frame upon the wall

"She died so many years ago"
"She died of well, a broken heart"
"Her son's died in the Great War"
"It tore her soul apart"

"But I saw her, she was talking"
"She taught me how to pray"
"She was as close to me as I to you"
"She taught me what to say"

He said "son, she's no longer here"
"she's the one who comes the most"
"she finds souls who need redemption"
"She's our church's holy ghost"

I thanked him, head still reeling
I would have to think on this a while
But, as I left, I took one more look
And I'm sure I saw her smile.

When the storms rage in my head
When I'm drowning in my dread
When I'm living like I'm dead
There you are

When I have no hand to hold
When I've lost sight of control
When I can't be strong or bold
There you are

And even though I see no sign above
I'm asking you to give me strength to trust

God you say that you're good
but everything I know
Seems so out of control

And I can't make sense
of where you are in all this mess
and all I feel is my distress

But you say you're here
Could I know you're here?

as the morning breeze wafts
over fragrant jasmine and bela

and the parakeets roost
in guava trees

and the slant of the mango tree
welcomes the sun on dewdrops

i hear the call to prayer and my heart supplicates
my body trembles and i kneel

my hands fold in prayer
my fingers run over the holy beads

and as my body surrenders
to words as old as time is told

i feel the rivulets of sweat down my back
my body continuing it’s dance of offering

and as i hear the raucous chatter of the birds
and the sounds of the house stirring

i give thanks for another morning
and give in to the pleasure of being

fender amps spread music around town
the music in your room is turned up loud
pop rock, indie or punk
suddenly your mood has sunk
a bottle of Jack Daniels and then your drunk
crying unknown to what you've done
listening to the words that are sung
understanding the feelings of Lynn Gunn

Well I'm ridin through the crossroads
on a midnight jet black horse,
got my pistol cocked and my sabre sheathed
,but loosely as a matter of course-

In the past I could let my guard down,
but Tonight I must not fail,
I'm like Jonah riding in the belly of the beast
while Ahab takes aim at the whale,
screaming from Hells heart I stab at thee for hate I spit my last breath
but tonight's my night
the coin's just took flight will it be life or endless death?,
I'm a wanted man with a blackened name,
and the hunter's have my scent,
but it's my one true love who I've got to save,
so on her rescue I'm Hellbent.

And the hell in there is not a turn of phrase,
she's in the grip of Satan's kin,
and if silver and steel can't save her soul,
I'll trade my own straight in.
because Sweet Alice always warned me
'bout the company I kept,
but I ignored her wisdom and for my sins,
she was taken while I slept,
by a Hell spawned demon creature
straight from Lucifer's darkest dream,
and her sob of fear is all I could hear,
now I'm haunted by that scream,
and for 11 years I've faced all my fears
on an evil infested trail,
a Witch woman omen caster told me I could save her with the holy grail.

I turn to see the demon following me
thru the gloom and misty hail,
and for the thousandth time I curse my oath to quest for the holy grail,
but Sweet Alice needs me to be strong,
and so I must not fail,
*to face hell's hordes and save her soul I must find the holy grail

Markings

    He asked the farmer, "What is holy?"
    In his eyes,
    it is the sun that burns
    his crops.

    He asked the fisherman, "What is holy?"
    In his eyes,
    it is the sea that drowns
    his ships.

    He asked the laborer, "What is holy?"
    In his eyes,
    it is the earth that burdens
    his body.

    He asked the soldier, "What is holy?"
    In his eyes
    it is the battle that destroys
    his home.

    He asked the priest, "What is holy?"
    In his eyes,
    it is the cross that bloodies
    his soul.

    He asked the child, "What is holy?"
    In his eyes,
    it is his father that treads
    his worth.

Wander Far Afield
Oh Holy Ghost

With A River for your Chalice
And A Lovers Hold, Your  Cup
God Given MarK of Indemnity

Wanderings of a Sacred Mystery
Now Certain Footprint
of all who Remain

Holy Offering  thru these  Lips Pass
Here is the Heart of Knowledge
Leo Strong
The Tongue  of Mind
Channels  Wisdom,
NEW WORDs LAW
Held BY Grace

Language Once Forgotten
Now Heard
It is the Lovers Stance

Holy Romantic Play
Held Hard
Within the Deck of Cards,
No Jack this Choice
But a Playing Cards Queen
A Holy Jester
Of the most
Elegant Desire
Wisdom of Understanding,


The Kind
A Prayer
Would Recognize

Made for a President
NowA Woman for a King
United Church Of Heaven
I give this Holy Ring

A love beyond all knowing
With Wisdom at its Heart
No Dream this Wish upon a Star
A Bodies Call for Us Is Made

With eyesight made of Laughter
And Eyes that now do  Shine
Heart Beating True
We call this forth
Together both we Live I Do

So many Loves
This One I take
No looking back
Not  One mistake

The Bodies Pyer
as God I Go
Give Now this Love
For this I Show
Rise Shiva, Krishnu, Erin, Amma
Lakshmi, Demeter, Buddha, Lama
Gilgal Artists All..Your Name is Wilderness
Magdelene Benedicte,
Aphrodite Lovers,
Christ Lives

AGAIN!
WithIN
Circle Vote, Your Scribe Is Peace
All is Now

Circo nips on the go, the road
no mortgage or roof on the mobile home
Making music with the wind, her curls

I watch it --picture frame the moment with my hands on canvas
memories and dreams are sandwiched
no lettuce,

but the tank lets us cruise with these 6 figure fantasies worry free courtesy a day dream,
Or déjà vu if I could choose, and I chose.

We choose to break the rules so what's on ya mind?

pulled into a rest stop indecent crimes
with a box full of promises tucked in my pocket,
Just know that it will surface but to you I'm not worth it

Just don't cosign the lies that they tell don't sign the doted line or give me that bill --it's all premature don't treat it all like a stillborn,

Still on fact I see you once every 6 months

I figured I was important figured that she could wait now contemplating extortion, how can ways of the selfish out weigh what's important
Cue curtains, hands off canvas

A silent mourn prior to another portrait, she spoke:
"take my body if the last supper"
Pardon myself from my favorite flavor no savoring the savior who can't even save herself or society.

A fleeing dream so I bow my head in homage
no suffering no more, you've painted our last hour
she painted my true colors and the water works are real and the water color dripping from her slits surreal so literal my ******
pause--
is it right to call my lord a drug my lord I question your judgment,
Your words your core I judge is war or warmth
or worms, you were she was an apple to sight the but cost of love-- too expensive
shot of Circo now I'm way too aggressive,
I park my home parallel my clone and walk past the Dive Bar where we met regressing psychologically,
eyeing me from another table
her social disciples that follow her and rival my every breath
I take a sip reminded of that flavor, her lips I'm awoke since 3 days after my last fix my vice is her a grip
Who The **** Was That, That walked Pass?!
clashing personalities, flammable as gas I'm corroded
shotgun, empty,
as a weapon with no motive
no navigator-- nor a map to my emotions shes coding I'm losing it,
I'm losing her my portrait
promises are broken I promise my undoing is a loose interpretation I use it for my benefit
clever for I love you
I loathe you makes more sense  
so who am I to judge with an empty box full of promises intended as a tattoo
her legs on the table
I say my final prayer:

"for supper I will have you" wine hold the water I'm prepared for the last stroke.