she was autumn
golden brown gilded her temples
lips rolled back over her smile

It’s not raining
But sometimes words fall
Down like rain.
Sometimes they come in a
Deluge
        Flood
               Monsoon
Or whip around like a
               Wind storm
        Tornado
Hurricane
And instead of building up, they
Destroy.
It’s not raining
And the sky is blue and not gray
And instead of bad I kind of feel okay
But the fact still remains
That we sit here and say
“We need to talk”
And yet
All we do is sit here
Surrounded by the blue
Wishing for it to
Rain
       Deluge
                 Flood        
Anything.
But all we’re doing is
Sitting in a drought.

sparklers are for the people who
love more
than they could ever
be loved in return,
for the ones who
exhaust
extinguish
their own light for others
to only appreciate them
for a moment and then
be forgotten,
for those who run out in rainstorms
for people who won’t even
stay with them in the sunshine,
for the ones who wait until
everyone around them is shining before they
ignite their light and glow.
but you can’t live by just
borrowing love for an instant or
living with the
ashes of other’s achievements;
you die a fresh death every time you listen to
those voices
that crash down on you like hail until
you’re too numb to move
you’re too over it to try
you’re too cold to ignite
at all.

Far in your eyes
you see a city full of light.
Deep in my eyes you can see full of disappointment.
In the eyes of the city we live in together is far from trust.
Sometimes
it's far
from here
to-get-t(her)e.

Not ready
That's what you told me
Yet you're already dating someone else
Not even a month after
I feel like I should be mourning
But I think I dodged a bullet
You still call other girls for hours
Even though you have a girlfriend
You still cuddle with others too
So in hindsight thank you for leaving
You gave me temporary pain
For a lot more happiness longterm
So thank you?
I still hope you suffer a bit for the ghosting though
After all I am a petty *****

When will the suffering stop
Will it end when you come back
Or will someone else show me the way out

Life is pink
Pink flowers, pink leaves, pink people
How could I not love all of this
Everything is accented
Even the dew hints at pink shimmers
And you,
You SHINE in this pink glow
How could you ever do anything wrong
When everything you do seems so right
And the pink glare hides anything I wouldn't like
So I get to live in my perfect pink fantasy

I want to listen to you breathe gently next to my ear...
To feel your chest rise and fall against me..
Running my nose across yours so I can look into your eyes.....You have my body and my mind.....
I want to give you my heart and never look back....
To let my soul roam, cloaked in happiness and peace...
You are serenity.
You can have my light,
I'll take your darkness.
Just fall into me.

I’ve been through this before.
First with that last *****,
Now it’s just become my personal lore.

How many times do you need to dump me just to understand,
That the reason you keep coming back is because of the grassland.
It seems greener over there,
But mine has flowers that you can’t find elsewhere.

You say that when you dump me, that it’s just a reaction.
I’m supposed to stay and show my compassion.
I admit that I hurt you from the start,
But the back and forth has me bleeding from my heart.
If life’s a play then I guess the ******* is my part.

You want to be at peace,
While also saying I’m your missing piece.
Maybe all it takes is some elbow grease.

We lost the box to the puzzle,
And sometimes it feels like I have to wear a muzzle.
I say dumb **** while at the same time being articulate.

I’m a conundrum.
****** in the head because of where I’ve come from.
I love you and you say you love me too.
When in this lifetime will I believe that it’s true?

I don’t want this to end,
You’re my best friend.
We always make amends, but that’s the issue.
Amending too many times means there were too many crimes.
I’m a perpetrator in need of a tissue.

Tears on my keyboard,
Type out thoughts that can’t be ignored.
I want to start over so your vision of me can be restored.
But I tried too hard and there’s smoke coming from the motherboard.

I need a technician.
Or perhaps a magician.
To pull a thousandth chance with you out of a hat,
So I can prove to you you’re not a doormat.
Every time we chit-chat I fall flat.
And in every relationship, this is where I end up at.
Why’s it always like that?

Making mistakes, being inconsistent.
No wonder you’ve grown to be so distant.
But I think it’s mutual that we acknowledge our love’s existence.
I need assistance to stop my persistence.

You want me out of your life at 10 am,
But also want to get pancakes at 9 pm.
You’re right that I’m not responsible.
But I feel that problem is resolvable.
I think you’re phenomenal.
The drive you have is exceptional,
When you put your mind to it you’re unstoppable.

I guess what I’m trying to say is,
I’m sorry that the nightmares of what I’ve done keep you nocturnal,
But ending this relationship is only optional.
It’s up to you to decide if it’s optimal.