I am strong. I am not resilient.  Whatever i do, whatever i endure and suffer, chips away at me little by little,
       I never come out of an experience the same way i went in.
       In the love, hate, lust, hurt, worry, helplessness, hopelessness and pain,
      I feel weak,
I am never the same, it all takes a piece of me.
       People think i am weak, because i let them take me away,
      I let the experience eat me away.
But they are wrong.
      In all of it, I am still alive, I keep fighting, I go under and up, in and out,
      No matter what happens and where it takes me, I never give up.
      I guess that's where my strength lies: in my stubbornness.
      I may not be the same person I was
yesterday,
       And today I am in pain,
       I won't let up on the dreams of tomorrow.

I am so lonely
Even with all these people around me
They move and they speak
They laugh and they cry

I move and speak
And laugh and cry
But I am still so lonely.

So many people.
So much loneliness.

Caught between Guillan's tab and your roof toward me
Worn-out sackcloth but the dust is sick of my head
Now why won't I pound a rock on it instead
I've been here, actually

Break this *** and gather all your foes
Oh where is the breaking point of your wooden-crafted nose
A chance to defend my case was gave
But all along I was digging my own grave
Faithfully, maneuvers evading the light bleeding on the sides meanwhile!

Masks of oak and grey forcefully made to wear
Dressed with mocking silk
Clothed like a circus freak
Thickness of sugarcoat make you look like an iron bear

In mud, I'm bedraggled
Blades of shame, I shave my head
My craving for a just right or even perfect bowl of porridge went down to 'what's better than cabbage than cabbage

Why can't I just go back to the fattened calves
Potato salad unshared in halves
To sit like kids beside their father's mat
Praised by aristocrats
Save me! This is a distress signal, not a salute.

Brian Patrick

Enveloped in the dark fog of goo
Surrounded by the dank starkness
To be home where it wallows
My being satiated with nothingness

Depth - reaching for the beckoning hand
My arms are stretched beyond their limit
Hands gripping for salvation
The salvation sinks below the hell frost

Silky smooth and rich with calling
The goo oozes everywhere
It calls for me to become enveloped
The light, the doorway just beyond

Redemption from the dark ooze
Something yearned for; yet still so far
Legs unable to propel
Forever stuck in the goo

Here I lie, broken and shattered, thinking what difference would it make if I die
You think I am giving up on life without a try?

I haven't accepted my desolation and misery without a fight,
I just realised that at the end of this tunnel is no light

I've played out my cards, I have used every trick in the book,
The world has simply lost its colour, I wish you could look

It's like someone flips a coin and nothing seems right,
I am drained, I no longer have the instinct to fight.

I strived too hard to find the purpose of my existence but failed,
The boat which heads for a happy life has already sailed.