The last chance has passed and she has left me lost and alone.
The driver sped through the light that he failed to see
through his high powered beer goggles.

The rest of the world runs on the same,
No one the wiser, no one to feel my pain.
I don’t know how much longer I can hold on.

I’m out of tears, no more grief, the time has passed.
Tonight I am slipping away without my anchor to
Tether me to this world.

It is time to end the suffering, stop the waiting.
I cannot accept that there will ever be another
As I fall to pieces; the lord caves his jigsaw into me.

Returning home from the night’s adventure.
Winding down from the rush of excitement,
We were too tired; too tired.
the corner was there before the steering wheel.
The crash, the sudden quiet.

Moaning is heard as
The blood seeped into the cracked roadway.
Amongst the twisted metal and shards of glass, our light fades.
Crying and waiting until we left our bodies.
Then we were gone, but we watched

as the silence was broken and
the sirens blared

We rose…. Leaving the destruction,
the heat of the flames,
the smell of burning fuel,
the whining of a dying radio.

We are with the others now
encased in the shadows.
Light and airy spirits, sometimes we are heard laughing.
We wait in our clusters,
waiting to greet anyone
who might happen to join us here.

We are finally happy
Within the confines of eternity; in death.

Now the quiet peace,
We are together now,
Perhaps you’ll join us.

Life moves on
and things become too real.
A wife. Kids. Career.
It’s too much, I want to run away.

Everything has changed with
my position in the world.
I’ve never fit in
Always the freak who knows no limits,
the one who sits alone and minds his own.

Never understood, never accepted.
Now a husband, a dad, still the same.
Always covering up myself; hiding
behind wit and cruelty.

A shield to disappear into,
Afraid to be me; to send up alone.
I used to know who I was but
now I’m not so sure.

It seems I have my life sorted out,
but am I really happy?

A question I always find myself asking
but can never answer.
I don’t think anyone knows the meaning of happiness,
or if it really exists.

Tonight I found myself holding her close,
and as I rested my head on her chest,
I quietly try not to cry.

It’s hard sometimes to keep it all in,
to hold strong so as not to lose myself,
it’s why I write as I do.

An outlet through a pen is all I have,
only the page wont judge,
won’t declare me a freak,
won’t know that something is wrong with me.

The thoughts I have,
my inability to empathize with other’s pain and loss.
It makes me wonder if I’m right for this world.

I’ve been to two funerals,
one I barely knew, the other I held dear.
And lost a grandfather who meant everything,
yet I never shed a tear.

I used to think that it was because I am strong,
but now maybe that isn’t so.

Who am I really?
I think I need to know.

Balance
The universe thrives
Exists

A scale level
On the mountain peak
Tip it one way
Reality shatters.

The light and dark
The ups and downs
We cut so someone can heal

America sleeps
China wakes
The sun gives way to the moon

Heartbeats stop
Babies are born
Our tears in the face of their joy

Without out demons
An Angel's wings are never earned
So we balance.

Heart and mind
said to entwine
but far apart
set those of mine

passion and wisdom
not always hand in hand
following her, my lust's content
forbidding thoughts, I'm held at bay.

her baggage is much
but the suitcase shines so brilliantly
my heart's temptations flare
the mind does not care.

chasing her down
the ever growing hall
practicality keeping me slow
desperation hoping she'll fall.

I find my self struggling
to balance out the two
a decision needs to be made
so many options that are so few.

Torn inside, my yin and yang.
the impossible choice I cannot make
as like always,
it is time for me to wake.

Hate and spite
Horror and death
Shadow and misery
They think they know me.

Thievery and misguidance
A cigarette for cancer
Creature from the dark
Best to cross the street
As they judge me from afar.

Try to approach and you may find
That there is more to the scene
More than they cared to see

Take off the mask; unveil the truth
A soul lost on this plane, outcasted.
Thrice bitten, forever burned.
Learned not to expect, never to trust.

A spirit to befriend, loyal beyond the rest.
A jokester, an adventurer, a person.

More to the picture than the draping curtain,
They never cared to pull it aside, they were too afraid.
Yet you are here, to stand by my side, one of few.

Tonight we feast and raise our glasses high
A salute to you and those alike who braved the shallows
And offered a greeting.

Down the shot, experience the burn;
An echo of those who didn't try, those who will never know.
Those too shrouded by judgmental hubris.

Put them aside, they no longer matter
As for with this ring, it is you and I
Together forever, couldn't ask for one better.

To the one who lifted the mask,
The one who went the extra step,
The one who holds me together,

I love you.

An expression
"Build me up, buttercup"
A license to knock you back down.

They say they'll show you the world,
go for a ride under their wing
They drop you through the clouds.

Pleasant company, you hope to be
work with them as they show you the ropes
never good enough.

Trying to rise form the ashes
the past is in the past
as the wind sweeps across the nation
once again you're scattered.

A game to play but not to win
fight for the right to be let down
eventually things are sure to work out.

That's what they tell me anyway.

Metal
These bars
Safe
Or not.
The torment
Accompanies
Embraces

Outside
Dead
Freedom
Escape.

Forbi­dden
trapped
a ring
strangling.

Depression
Loathing
Solitude
My own bars

Tomorrow
Tomorrow
Tomorrow
Repetition
Insanity
Lock Down

Gone

too FAT too SHORT too WITHDRAWN
too THIN too DUMB too SMART
too OLD too WEAK too GOTH
too QUEER too PARANOID too PREPPY

they judge, they mock, they laugh, they jest.
a game they play, all fun and games.
Who cares what they say, why should i listen
the taunts of the others, out for their own.

I don't care, I refuse to see
They will never get to me.. and yet..

Tune it out, look away, doesn't make it end.
no harm intended, death resulted.

Their words have no conviction, no meaning.
This I know, this I believe, but then tell me why..

Why I cannot stop reading the writing on the walls?

too TALL too GROSS too UGLY
too NERDY too SMELLY too CREEPY
too SLOW too HYPER too SENSITIVE

They point, they mock, they regret, they don't care.
Today, tomorrow, last night and before.
They vandalize the air with words they don't intend.

I don't care, I refuse to see
They will never get to me.. and yet..

I walk away, talk to me back
Put you behind me, i cannot hear.

Your words are mute, they matter not.
This I know, this I believe, but then tell me why..

Why I cannot stop reading the writing on the walls?
And why don't they put down the pen?

Too cruel Too harsh Too unprovoked
Too Jealous Too abused Too angry
Too Beaten Too unheard Too unloved

They've been there, they try to cope.
Lashing out instead of lashing in.
Fighting for the chance they never got.

This I know, this I believe.
I don't care, I refuse to see
They will never get to me... and yet..

Tell me why, even knowing this,
why can I not stop reading the writing on the walls?