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Anthony Smith Jun 2017
You want me to be me,
but the me you envision.
After all you're always right.
...
I maintain my own balance with the world,
but again my imperfections are brought to light.
Unsurprisingly I let you down,
Not because I refuse, but because I cannot fight.
I am not allowed to be me.
...
You expect me to be more. Everything at once.
To take care of my self, others left unattended.
To maintain the enviroment, other aspects let down.
I'm slow, I don't understand, I run out of time. Doesn't matter.
...
You miss the attention, the dedication, that I used to give.
You want the little things, the gifts, the cuddles, the affection.
I with to provide, but often cannot, the hell if I know why.
...
I've come to live in fear.
Reluctant to return home from work
Not wanting us left alone.
...
The easy seperation isn't an option, too many depend on us.
I don't want that. I never would have started if I wanted an end.
But I don't know how to heal. Or if we can.
...
Always on the negative, never the positive.
Providing motivation out of fear not desire.
Meanwhile I'm dying inside.
...
I've had to learn to resist depression
and to repress who I am.
I've given up dreams of a future
and am left to see what happens.
...
So much sacrifice that cannot be undone,
starting to wonder what I gave it up for.
At a rough patch in my marriage I found myself up at 2am to empty my worries into my pen.
Eleasha Forster Jun 2017
The evening dragged on like the burning of a candlewick. My mind drew a blank page as I tried to remember what I was doing. The house felt bigger that night. I longed for him to come home complaining about the smallest things that  I took for granted whilst I poured brandy into his glass and lit the fire to heat his cold hands from the blasting winter. Flick- light of the dying bulb illuminated the drawing room projecting shadows of inanimate objects onto the walls of peeling paper. An uncanny sensation churned at my gut. Trundling down the narrow corridors, I reached the kitchen, catching the eye of a half empty rouge drowning in its own sorrows. I took a sip, admiring the gleaming cabinet holding his armory, clenching to the wall. I pulled out good ol’ smith and Wesson, inspecting its little impurities. I noticed a chip in the receiver and a **** in the barrel but surely this would not hinder its performance. My mind filled with dark thoughts the longer I held the revolver, so I placed it back in the cabinet locking the door. My hands shook from the exhilarating fear that swept over my body as I raced to put the key into the drawer on the other side of the kitchen, in order to smother the malicious feelings that had seeped into my mind. Sip. The tasteless wine slipped through my lips and made its course around my hollow body. No matter how much I drank, it would never fill the black void that his love once called home.
As I held the dwindling glass, I looked around the empty shell of a room. It caught my eye, the raven sat upon my window sill, his eyes dark as night. I looked down at the rouge as if it was never ending like the river of amnesia pouring down my throat but no matter how much I consumed, the raven always seemed to be lurking among the shadows like a renegade. How did he know of my where abouts? He disappeared before I even left the woods.
Eleasha Forster May 2017
It was time to turn back and face reality. He was dead and was never coming back. I was never to see my reflection through his golden brown eyes or feel his warm tenderly kiss still softly pressed against my forehead. This truth was hard to swallow and even harder to believe. Never again would I be in his warm arms protected from the harsh world surrounding us. I would give anything to only just take a short glimpse back at the paradise we once shared for I was the happiest I had ever been, with him by my side. He was my home. My safe place; my haven.
The Wicca Man Apr 2015
“You may go now.
Come, let me loose your bonds.
Yes, caress the scars: there, soothing, isn’t it?
Why, you’re trembling …
Are you cold?
Not afraid, surely?
You’re free now.
Here, let me brush your golden hair from your eye, wipe the tear from your cheek.
Your face is cold; take my cloak.
I can see the question in your eyes: why now? Why now after so long?
It is time, that’s all, time for you to go.

There’s the door;
stand and walk toward it;
I shan’t stop you.
There is no lock; it will freely let you pass.
See, it opens willingly.
Now pass through, I will not follow.”

I turn to face the moon framed in the cold stone arch
and watch you soar across Her face into the darkness …
A parallel piece to ‘Angel’s Keep‘, also posted here.
The Wicca Man May 2017
I dreamt last night that you were with me
and we walked along that path leading to the river and the ferry across.
(do you remember the ferry?)

It was summer, or so it seemed,
and the air was heavy & hot.
The sky was blue, cloudless, except for distant flecks of white.
Insects and small birds shared the air
— I’m sure I saw a dragonfly, iridescent blue/green
hovering over a flowering thistle

The path we walked was as I remembered it;
narrow and hedged on each side
by waist high wild plants & flowers - blue and white, some blood red,
green, alive, hosting many flying fauna that buzzed and flitted
from bloom to bloom.

But interspersed among the verdant growths were
angry-thorned wild roses, nettles
and the dark brown and black of dying flora.

I wanted to hold your hand but the nettles and harsh-thorned plants
grabbed at our clothes and gashed bare skin.
So we plodded single-file, not talking;
I knew you were behind me but had to keep turning round to be sure.

It felt as though we had been walking for an eternity
until rounding a bend in the path,
we saw the river in the near distance.
Blue-green-still, dappled by sunlight,
its surface broken by occasional movements
from creatures beneath.

As we drew close the to river’s edge and the grey wooden jetty,
I noticed the buzzing insects and flying birds had ceased their aerobatics;
there was silence, not even the gentle lapping of water against the riverbank.

Looking across to that distant bank it seemed blurred and indistinct;
an eerie mist hovered at that far shore.

There was a brass bell atop a post standing at the back of the jetty,
aged and stained.

You came to my side and took my hand but spoke no words.

I reached out to ring the bell but you squeezed my hand.
I looked to you and your eyes were fearful.
Shaking your head, you mouthed ‘No!’

I nonetheless reached up and grabbed the cord tied to the striker
and rang the bell.
Three times I did this.
But not a sound was made.

The silence was heavy now & looking skyward I realised dusk had crept upon us.

I looked out at the river and the mist that moments before
had been at the distant shore was now edging towards us.

The air chilled suddenly and in the silence
I could hear my heart pounding in my ears.

Your hand still clasped mine; it was clammy, cold.

I looked at you but your eyes were drawn to that distant river’s edge
And the mist that crept towards us.

I strained too to see into the approaching brume and saw a yellow light
in the now black, starless darkness around us.
It appeared to be hanging in the air.

Moments later, a small boat loomed from the mist,
the light bobbing on a spar at its prow.
And the ferryman, thrusting his pole into the green-dark depths of the river,
tall, thin, indistinct in the half light.

Silently the boat came to rest at the end of the jetty.
The ferryman caught my eye: I do not recall his face,
it was as though it was devoid of features.

He raised an arm and gestured towards us.
You pulled your hand from mine.
I looked at you but your eyes were locked on the ferryman.

He gestured again and you turned to me, smiled, and walked onto the jetty.
I wanted to reach out to you but I was frozen, paralysed.
I tried to speak but could not form any words.

In a few steps you were at the end of the jetty and stepped onto the boat;
it didn’t rock, almost as though you were as weightless as the mist around it.

I tried to call out to you but again no words came out.
You turned to me then.
Your eyes were sad.
You touched your hand to your heart then turned away.

The boat began to move away, back into the brume
and was soon lost to the night  …
Eleasha Forster May 2017
I staggered up and stood there in melancholy- gazing aloft at the city laying among the horizon before me. It thrummed vibrations of a steady heartbeat. The lights flickered and it all fell to bleak darkness. The silence had come to grieve alongside me. I began clenching to the warmth condensing through my coat.
The presence of his reassuring touch emerged but not in human form. Closing my eyes I felt him dancing through the sharp breeze. I turned, hoping to catch a glimpse of the man I once loved. There still, sat the raven... his beady eyes ushered in a certain familiarity as his stature resembled that of the Angel of Death, engulfing an almost palpable enigma.
His lingering touch began to fade. The azure sky sunk through the dreary bleach that once dominated the atmosphere. As the raven took flight he projected his deathly caw that rung at my eardrums. The sun shone, a golden globe. All was tranquil for now.
JJ Cooke Mar 2017
Night coming down on the land shaded red,
As cunning and quick as a fox.
I rest in a cold lonesome room and bed,
When sharply upon my door knocks;

A strange subject standing,
A freak on my landing,
The twilight refuses to show.

I stay here and wonder,
I shake from the thunder,
I fear what it is I don't know.

With a moon resting dull,
Now the night comes in full,
A horrible shriek from there calls.

With a pulsating head,
I vacate this tense bed;
Curious the way this noise falls.

Outside rain dances to thundering drums,
While lightning exposes the void.
As I creep, I peak upon toes dead numb,
The knocking is quicker deployed.

Advancing the floor I see there is more,
to this unwelcome guest received.
Slowing my pace now i reach for the door,
It opens my eyes are deceived;

Before me stands still,
In a downpours chill,
This oddly shadow cast creature.

And even as still,
The lighting is nil,
Yet I can make out main features;

Without hair skull exposed,
Lacking eyes lips and nose,
Black tongue behind finely filed spikes.

It's breath suggests death,
And the chest 'neath it's neck,
Bares broken ribs sharpened as pikes.

Behind the pointy bones,
In the gore there is shown,
My caller is lacking it's heart.

So as seemingly ******,
I now open my home,
In hopes that this beast wont depart.

Curious to know how this thing is alive,
I've opened my doors and let it inside,
I'll ask it some questions and then maybe I,
Should cut off the head to see if it dies.
When what we see is real,
We sculpt perfection

Refined chimeras,  
Hunt us by night,

Masked behind shadows,
Of trees along the road to a cemetery

The lady in a white dress,
Bare feet, boiling skin

Her long dark hair
Slutty all over her face

And a butcher's knife,
Shining under a moonlight

That is not blood, right?
And why is she walking this way?

Aaaaaaaaah!!!
Am awake

A tapestry of mosaics,
Of Autumn leaves,

Floating down calm waters
rays of a morning sun

The lady in a black dress,
Out the river of youth

Her crystal skin,
With a radiant smile

Colourful eyes,
And wet golden hair,

Down her shoulders,
With splashing waters

As she walks towards me,
And lo,

Am awake,
This time,

For real
Am I happy or sad?
JJ Cooke Mar 2017
I wake from a dream, the same dream I always have; I find myself inside an empty  space dominated by pitch black.

A scuttle behind me -no in front-
I can't tell in this darkness; my senses are fouled and my whit seemingly nil.

Something grabs, stabs, scrapes;
I feel my skin tear on the arm then the leg then the back, my sense of touch has not gone as the wounds hemorrhage.

I scream and I run not knowing what lies ahead, the noise follows to mock; from scuttle to screech to caw to- gone.

There's a light ahead, I can see it pulse as I press on; my bare bloodied feet making a steady slap and squish on the floor not there.

A whoosh above and heat driven wind forces me down; welcoming the warm kiss from below I don't resist it.

I fall continuously spiraling out of control into oblivion until I feel the ground approaching and I embrace the gory end.

I feel nothing on impact as I watch my casing burst to a ****** rain.
I wake from a dream, the same dream I always have.
JJ Cooke Mar 2017
Lie alone in darkness,
Inside daftly cold.
Ample anti-starkness,
Rot alone in mold.

A bag of bones and little more,
From barren earth your start.
And little truth rest in your core,
Lost mind gone with cold heart.
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