Genderfluid
I am a girl, at least to everyone but me,
I am gay, and straight too, and both, and neither,
I do not want attention, I even try to avoid,
But you call me a she,
But I am changing, every day,

I cry when you know I am not so,
I am a boy today...I am gay
You don't notice, or care,
You just put more cuts on my wrist,
And hurt me more with every word...
"*****," you call with ease,
But you do not know, I am a boy today
"****," you say... I am a ******

Death my mind calls with every single word...
But you do not care, for you smile at my pain, as I call for my love,
"Dakota..."

this morning
i am stuck

i am stuck
between
Blue
and
Pink

every morning
i face the same decision
and ask the question
how do i feel today?

and every morning
i struggle
not because i cant find the answer
but because im scared of it

because i know
that i cant be Purple
thats too confusing

but i feel Purple

when you're born a girl.
But don't feel like one.
When you are forced to go swimming and expose your body.
The one that causes all the pain and dysphoria.
Oh how much it ***** having boys staring at your *****.
When you want to be one of them.

I’m sorry
if I
wasn’t
the daughter
you had
in mind.


- I only ever wanted to make you proud

I’m sorry
if I
wasn’t
the daughter
you had
in mind.


- I only ever wanted to make you proud

I still support you
Through your ****** fluidity
Through your gender fluidity
Through your wavering confidence
Through the harsh, silencing glances
Through the whispers and rumors

I still love you
And I won’t ever stop
Not to appease our doubtful peers
Or unsupportive family

Please don’t forget me
Please don’t forget the tender embraces we’ve shared
Or the forbidden kisses we hastily exchanged
Under the cover of night

I love you
Don’t forget to love yourself

12/15/2017

Maybe a woman. Definitely not a lady.
Always fluid, everchanging
Transient, human, waxing and waning
Dust to dust, the earth is waiting

Skin deviously separating
Lips and eyes and breath recreating the truth
Impermanence, interrelationships between the two of you
Between the hundreds of thousands of beings surrounding and breathing with you
Being with you
Being me
Being this inexorable mix of light and twisted, my fight is rising, round 2 has been gifted
Moving, shifting, intermixed
Lifting my voice to try to fix the never-ending brokenness
The *******, hoes, the tokenness

My ecosystem intertwined
Roots supporting, climbing vines, climbing high
Rise and rise, the end is nigh, lest we fight this beast beside
These children fighting over limbs
Ripping flesh and slicing skin
Removing organs from the breathing earth within

Ive spoken this truth before
But from a shattered soul
I speak now from a podium
Breathing deep and whole