I feel like I'm drowning
All alone, no help in sight
Find myself constantly scowling
Though I try to smile with all my might.

Waves of sorrow drag me down
To the depths of cold agony
Feelings are an ocean I tread with no sound
I'm trying to swim yet I sink to the bottom of this miserable sea.

I have no idea why they come back
They seek something in me that I cannot give
Love is the thing that I lack
If I feel it again, I might not live

The feeling is sometimes my pain
Though when in pain I better my game
Maybe they come back for that gain
Do I have the secret to get a woman and tame

I look into their eyes and picture someone else
The truth is that I only want my ex
And they're only drowning me in ***
I have love for her, but in stealth

Being with them numbs the pain
And the storm in my heart has more than rain
The women are all that keep me sane
And I cannot get rid of all these memories in my brain
The emotions are overwhelming and they leave me in pain
"Just Dial the number, and restart the game."

How the hell
am I supposed to say
“I ‘like’ you”
If I can’t even truthfully say
“I like me too”

And how am I even
Suppose to justify,
“I think we’d be good
For each other”
If I’m not even good for me.

No really,
Tell me why you think,
“This will last”
Even remotely reflects
Me as a person.

I’m still waiting! for
Some Cosmic Being to
Fall to terra to tell me that He
“See[s] her in [my] future.”
But no such apocalypse has befallen my Earth.

So just tell her
“‘he ‘likes’ you’”
So I can get on with
Ruining this faster.
And can go back to wallowing in self hatred.

something just feels
off
and wrong
something isn't sitting right inside me
it's telling me to get up - go go go go go
go do that one thing
but im not sure where it wants me to go
or what one thing it wants me to do.
it's a feeling of urgency
without a proper cause
what is wrong with me?

Drowned deeply inside the deep blue ocean
I've tried my best,
To not getting back there,
it's too dark,
its's lonely,
****, I hate being there
I was so desperate,
So I've tried my best ,
To not do that again
But another person,
Spoiled it.
And one single mistake
its not my mistake,
Leads me back there,
**** it!
I didn't asked to fall in love
I didn't want her to know my feeling
I didn't want to know her feelings about me
but now its too late.
And now,
I'm back,
Inside the deep blue ocean