We sat down. I kept my lips from moving as I was watching yours. I wanted to hold you but you kept a two foot distance from my hip to yours. I clenched my jaw. I could not bare to witness what I was about to be run over with, but I could not stall. I knew the words before you said them, and I couldn’t stop rubbing my knee.
I stood up thinking about what I could say. I tried to reason with you. I tried to reason with me. I held the bridge of my nose with my jaw trying to weather away a few words. You tried to hold me close but my body couldn’t move from the poison you delivered with your touch. You said things. I couldn’t process them all. My ears would not listen.
I had to go. I opened the door. I wained left though I should have gone right. Actually, I wanted to run straight through the wall. I made fists with my hand I kept shaking my head. I’m not sure what I was trying to get rid of. I turned around to look at you. I wanted to hear more. I waited to hear you say something, but I dint hear a word.
I left. I knew you hadn’t felt a thing. Not a tingle. Didn’t fret. I came home and on my way to bed I saw my bottle only a twist of cap away. I thought about what you had said. In went the first. I thought about what I had said. Now in went the second. Then I thought about what I should have said and in went the last two in my bottle.
I walked back. You were very nice and I could tell you were pleased to see me. I could’ve cared less for your hospitality. I was at your door and you were right in front of me, and you were nothing. I was very blunt to tell you deserved nothing, and I saw your same poison run through every inch of your cold body.
You shut your door. I had a crooked smile in my face. I knew I had injected you with the same grief, but it was bitter sweet. One second second I was relived, the other said silently that it was a mistake. I laughed from the venom still in my veins, and I felt pity. You had darkened my heart, but I felt pity for me for having fallen so low.
