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Ruthie Jun 2014
I can't stop seeing you
kissing her out in open view
What the hell am I supposed to do?
Stand and watch you make me your fool?
SerZatarra Jun 2014
Have you ever felt that your life is wrong?
Like you're suppose to be somewhere else?
Like while you're mopping the floor of your lowly dishwasher job your vision blurs and the world around you convulses turning the mop into a spear swirling the sea of bubbles into blood and the far off voice of your boss mutates into the sound of your fellow warrior?
Or maybe when you walk into rain and the soft sound of the droplets on your skin turn into the rhythmic music of things against armor.
And as you look to make sit you're not going crazy the roar of an engine turns into the bellowing of dragons, horses and more.
These flashbacks transport you to another time where the world is mystic,
The pavement transmutates into dirt as the air around swirls into sudden shrills of strengthening speeches spurring you soulfully into skillful battle.
And as you speed forward leading the charge
of your battalion of skilled men a thousand large,
The flashback stops and you're in your time,
No armor on you skin..
Or lives on the line..
But your heart is still racing,
And you remember their names,
Of the boys you were leading,
On to glory and fame,
So was it a dream?
Or a memory from the past?
Or maybe it was from your life last.
Still working on this one :/
AprilDawn May 2014

Written in May 2014. Saw  these  stunning   red  hibiscus plants at Sam's Club the other week  and it took me back  to the one we lost   almost a decade ago.
undetermined May 2014
They say that when you die, your whole life flashes before your eyes in only a matter of seconds.

If that is true,
what if this is just our lives flashing before us?
What if we are just seeing this all happen again... as a memory?

Puritans believe in predestination...
I believe they know that happens and just think they are part of the flashback.

If that is true, can someone tell me why and/or how I am dying right now?

I don't want to die.
I know I have said it, thousands of times, that I'd rather die or be dead, but that isn't true.
I have said I want to **** myself before too.
To tell you the truth, I don't have the ***** to do it.
I can't **** myself.
I have had a knife in my hand trying to stab myself, but I got scared and put it away.

I found a gun once too... held it up to my head... put my finger on the trigger... dropped it.

I tried hanging myself too... that also ended in me not following through.

I can't do it... I won't do it.
Right in the middle of my dreadful life
You color it with a blissful love
Love, that somehow, made me realize
that reality can be a paradise

For a while, it works
Yet time passes by,
It fades

Looking at those sprinkled glitters in the sky
like how I used to gaze in your eyes,
I remembered all the promises
That you shattered into pieces

I suddenly fall into sadness so sweet
that memories sneak out of my eyes,
As my imaginations, filled with our images
River of tears continuously flows

You were the wish I wish upon a shooting star
You were the prince I fantasied in my fairy tale
You were the inspiration of my dreams
You were a glimpse of my everything.

As I sigh a smoke of sadness
drunk on the idea of happiness
As the wind blows by
I  just let myself fly high.
suicidalsmiles Apr 2014
it's 3 AM darling
i haven't slept a wink
or had a steady breath of air
i run outside in my favorite red rain boots
i laugh and giggle as i leap and bound
splashing in puddles and delighting in life

i slip off the covers, flick on the dim lights
it's the nightly routine,
open the dresser drawer, grab the razors
the sky is gray but
i am as bright as a sunflower
as i twirl around and around in the rain

i open the bathroom door
and slide down the wall
the world spinning, the walls collasping
i laugh and shout as my baby sister runs out
to join in on the fun and games
we run hand in hand down the wet street

i sob and sob until there's nothing left
but ragged gasps
trying to breathe, but i forget how
i laugh so hard i can't breathe
as she and i dance in the streetlight
as the rain falls down around us,
creating a halo around us of illuminated raindrops

i sink lower and lean my head back
the silver blade slashes against my skin
as shimmering tears dance in my eyes
the sky opens up
and the heavens shine down on us
the beautiful sunlight peeking shyly through
life is a wonderful thing, i think to myself

the blood trickles down
you're over, you're done
you're living,
but your not breathing or feeling,
you're so far past repair,
why bother to stay in this wretched world of despair
when you know you're dead, you're worthless,
what a fool i was to think life was good.
So yes. This is my first flashback poem, i doubt it makes sense or is very good? i tried XD but yes, it's memories of a much happier time, when i was a little girl, and then, then the present. I hope you enjoy <3
AprilDawn Apr 2014
for  a quick jot
it’s in  there somewhere
fumble under
my last vacation’s
embroidered coin purse
bunched up nose  tissues
pink lip liner
yesterday’s crumpled
grocery receipts
a neon yellow memory
  falls out  of my hand
and screams ****** ******
in the middle
of  a quiet  hallway.
How a random  object  in your daily  goings on can take you right back to a specific  time and place  .That one spoke volumes.
Katie Apr 2014
Once upon a time a girl wore a dark dress printed with red roses and it fit her quite well
But a boy tore it off her when she was under his spell
She felt her heart break when he kissed her up against the wall
When she realized it wasn't her dress but his arms that made her feel so small

— The End —