I cried again last night,
I just hate doing that.
I hate how uncontrollably my tears fall,
How they just roll off my eyes, smash my pillow at free will,
While I try with all my might to not let the sounds of cry escape my lips.
I hate feeling so helpless,
I hate the dampness of my pillow in the morning,
I hate that I have to wake up before everyone else so I can fix my eyes,
I hate that I made this my norm.
Honestly I'm tired...
I'm tired of hiding my pain,
I'm tired of hiding my sadness,
I'm tired of hiding my anger,
I'm tired of hiding my breakdowns.
I don't want to be the strong one anymore.
No one checks up on the strong one.
I don't want to live under these assumptions of being a fighter,
I can't even hold up a fist.
I don't want to be dealt these cards anymore and be told to just make it work.
I'm tired,
I am so so tired.
I'm exhausted.
Just... depleted.