starlight dimensions
shine brilliantly tonight
but they're not alright

They all see what she wants them to see. They can’t see the darkness inside. They can’t see the wounds that she gave herself. Wounds that she always hides. She fixes dinner, prays for release, and rolls over when it’s over cause she’s just another broken housewife.
She’s defective straight out of the box. She gets her happiness from a bottle. Just another pill down the shoot, then another, then another. She tucks the kids in, and does her very best to hold it all together for them. But she’s unraveling at the seams. She wants nothing more than to please cause she’s just another broken housewife.
No one can see her tears. No one can hear her screams. No one is there to care for her wounds. The black and blue patches that litter her skin. She’s good at hiding everything. She’s so good at holding everything in cause she’s just another broken housewife.

Living a lie,
wanting to die.
Saying you're okay,
but you are breaking down;
hour by hour, day by day.

Suddenly,
swiftly,
and silently
swept out
into the sea
of your fruitless lie.

Now only you will ever know.
You reap what you sow.

"How are you?"
Bad.
Disappointed.
Upset.
Frustrated.
Angry.
Heartbroken.
D­esperate.
Confused.
Lost.
Anxious.
Numb.
Broken.
Incomplete.
Depr­essed.
"Fine, you? :)"

i will learn to taste the honeydew
and pretend to like it

i will taste the honeysuckle
and not have to pretend

i will feel grass in my hands and
say it is the best of life

and not the woman i need between my teeth

i am not ferocious, not demanding, not unwise,
simply at peace.

i am the sparkler to the firework
the star to the sun
the kitten to the lion.

but are these not all one and the same?

i see dandelion seeds and
though they are weeds i will
watch their dance anyway

i dive into agua dulce
wishing to be stardust instead of glitter
but glitter is certainly better than ash

under the water i have a moment to myself
where it
takes my screams into pockets of air
floating up without consequence

escaping my body at last in
a beautiful anonymity

may watchful eyes devour my body
unmarked, unblemished, devoid.

and they will watch as i make myself perfect

…but if the powdered sugar somehow melts off of my skin
i beg you to look away
for your sake and mine

To instil fear into others, as a way to make them show you respect,
Is being afraid you will not be respected for who or what you really are.

"You look so rough on all edges."
"I'm very sharp."
"You look really tough!"
"Of course, I am tough."
"Wow, you're so strong!"
"Definitely!"
"Can I touch your heart?"
"Erm, no it's uhhh quite sharp so-"

There goes, a facade crumbling down.
Never knew, you'd be found so torn.
Always thought you're like a rock.
But all it takes was just a knock.
Why do you stand so still?
So tall like a hill.
Barely see you face to face.
Always seem to avoid our ways.
Couldn't look into your eyes,
As you hide those hidden fights.
You're not a rock,
And it's okay.
You don't always have to act like one.
It's fine being a fragile rock sometimes.

I know it seems
Like I'm a
Typical
****-up
Boring
Nerd,
But I'm not;
That's just
My facade for
The real me.