Finally they're done
A year until the next

I can't do anything now
It's over, is the test

Biology, chemistry, physics
All three I made a mess

There's no point dwelling in
sadness hope I tried my best

There's nothing to do now
except hope and wait and rest

I don't really care for this
it means nothing to me
in a few years or many more
I'll forget all I've seen
all I learned
'cause it ment nothing
at the time
just a lost and empty soul
that I'll eventually find
and I'll realise why I did this
whether I regret it or not
'cause something that ment nothing
could eventually mean a lot

the bell rings
and i'm out of breath
did i do well today?
what will my parents say?
i stand in my loneliness
on top of the world
the view is great
the air is cooler than normal

but suddenly i feel so afraid of the void
trying to comfort myself
i say i can't be perfect
i start to let myself go
under the numbers and grades
i run, so lost in this maze

i must make it
i must see it through
but will i ever be enough?

these mixed thoughts engulf me
with my life on the line
i pretend to be careless
for a moment i smile

but it comes back to me
hitting me with a greater force
i fall to my feet
this isn't the first time

i've been here before
i'm getting used to it
why do i even fake it?
the loneliness blossoms in the sun

the world looks so small now

i try to avoid the feeling
but i can't no matter how i try
my grades scrape the ground
even though i stand so high

the world looks so small now

when the heat becomes too much
i leave the expectations behind

forever, i'm scarred
hurt by the statistics
the world is getting closer now
*its grown so big

Why is it that evrytime I am trying
To study for my exams, to prevent me from failing
I often find my self just staring
To the ceiling that once was nothing but plain boring
But after studying, the ceiling becomes more interesting
Tell me what is it with studying, that makes everything
Interesting
Well everything, except for studying...

Please let me leave

Mountains have risen up
that I created
by leaving my clothes in a pile
by tossing my responsibilities upon it
by heaping insult upon injury
by throwing caution to the wind
and by washing my mind down the drain.


Just let me leave

Too many times have I yearned to breathe
to inhale without holding back
to take it all in
to smell the roses
to take a deep breath....
and then breathe it out
blowing dandelions
letting it all out
exhaling without care.


Let me go.

I've given up on so many things I cared about
Too many of them were important
and now I have no excuses
except that I lost hope
and I thought I couldn't finish
and I believed it wasn't worthwhile
and the pain was too much to bear
and I didn't believe it would get any better.


Can I go home?

Finals week is taking its toll,
and nothing can make this better
except a big comfy bed
a mother's embrace in the morning
a hot cup of coffee in pajamas
tv shows I loved as a kid
brothers to goof around with
a smoothie when dad gets home.

I just want to go home.

And here am I
Saturday's brain
Saturated and static
Beautifully buzzing with anticipation
Glowing, large, gorgeous
I am rotund and proud
Filled with the blissful tension leading
Up to letting go

My heart, like roaring drizzle
Breathes up through my collarbones
out my shoulders and ears
A steady humming in my veins
My earlobes murmuring
In agreement

I think
I'll break the surface now

I'm tired.
I'm tired of exams.
I'm tired of studying day and night for a piece of paper which literally determines my next job application.
That doesn't make any sense.
I could be **** good at something not a paper is worth for, but will i be given a chance to prove so?
I'm tired of exams
Aren't you?

Mondays should never be used for exams.
You get distracted
By the so many things in life that makes you want to jump out of your seat and ***** studying.