i feel like i'm stuck
on earth
because my As don't have stars next to them
so i'm a galaxy behind
everyone
else.

my time is constantly split
spread like butter over too many slices of toast
weekends spent between homes, too many 'homes'
seconds and hours broken up into segments
too small for someone to sustain speaking
seconds sectioned off to celebrate a million things at once.

they say everything is made up of atoms- is time?
splitting my time is like splitting an atom.
it requires more energy than i have and makes me smaller the more times i do it.

my body is scattered across the town
parts of it across the ocean or miles up the motorway
the body isn't me anymore
the body has a duty
i don't mind
the body is a handout that i give to people on my rounds

seconds pass me by without a second thought
the hours in the day are not sufficient
and the body is split
but it doesn't mind.

all that's changed in nyc
since he begged for a chance
that plea for peace
the power he gave the people
twenty years to be free,

is a body on the sidewalk
with a bullet in it's back
and six miles down the hudson
a space
where two buildings once sat.

they told us it would be a holiday
get to see the world
get out of this town where nothing good ever happens
and do some good for ourselves
our country

so we went
hardly literate
without the capacity to even begin to conceive what the machines were
we thought they were toys
they told us nothing

so now we stand in this red finger paint
unsure whether we caused it or not
and our loved ones are so far away
but i'm coming home, mother, i'm coming
i'll get away.

breathe in, breathe out.
every day. you know the drill.
breathe in, breathe out.
open the doors. do what you need to do.
in. out.
if you can bear it, just one more hour.
thirty minutes.
thirty seconds.
breathe.
out.

finally reach that haven
the collective daydream of all those pre-occupied minds
the day's been spent desk to desk to desk but now here
here
alone finally with nothing but your thoughts
thoughts

thoughts

suddenly drowning and you can't stop and you can't breathe in and you can't breathe out and when you try and swallow you can only swallow yourself and your thoughts are drowning you again pulling you under like a current a piece of seaweed around your leg tugging so you hold you breath and you shut your eyes
sleep
sleeping

awaken
awakening

another day.
breathe in. breathe out.
in. out.
get your things. prepare.
out. in.
you're in. again.
breathe in. breathe out.
again.

we all insist upon the saviours inside ourselves
the underlying reflex of a hero
but in that moment at the line of life and death
we'd all save ourselves in a heartbeat

there is nothing joining us as a people any more
no culture
no need to help
just an overwhelming greed and a hunger to succeed

i am a killer with good intentions, angel
you saw as your wings held back the nightmares
you fell from heaven as i crawled from hell
but against all odds, you're the one who cares

sometimes angels miss heaven and safety
but i will make this place your second home
even if you've been feeling lost lately
i promise you will never feel alone

if i **** you one day please forgive me
the poison runs black through my veins on some days
i can control it if it's you i see
but sometimes i can't see past the mad daze

but when my eyes open, i see what i've done
that's when the real godly war has begun.