Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Matt Jul 26
There’s no reason I should feel like this.

That’s the worst part.
My life isn’t falling apart.
It’s fine.
It’s good.
My girlfriend tells me she loves me and I believe her.
My friends invite me out and I say yes.
Sometimes, I even laugh.
And then, in the middle of the night or a Wednesday afternoon,
my body decides it’s time to collapse in on itself.

No warning.
Just a quiet shutting down,
like the lights in a store
right before closing.

I’ll be walking through a parking lot
and suddenly my chest forgets how to keep rhythm.
My heart races like it's being chased
but there’s nothing behind me—
just a car, a tree, a sky that doesn’t care.

Try explaining that to someone.
Try saying,
“No, I’m not sad.
I’m just... not here at the moment.”
Or,
“Yes, I love you.
I just also kind of want to disappear right now.”

Some nights, I lie in bed like it’s a battlefield.
It’s 1:03 a.m.
The ceiling fan spins like it’s counting down to something.
I try to breathe like the apps taught me.
In through the nose.
Hold.
Out through the mouth.
Hold.
But panic doesn’t care about wellness trends.
It grabs my ribs like a thief looking for something valuable
and finds only noise.

The worst part is the stillness after.
When my body finally unclenches
and I’m left staring into the blank of 1:58 a.m.
fully aware I’ll be useless tomorrow.
But more afraid of the idea
that this is just... how it is.

I’m not suicidal.
Not in the way people imagine.
I don’t want to die.
I just want to stop existing
for like a day.
Maybe three.
Just enough to sleep without dreaming,
to pause the timeline,
to not have to explain why I haven’t texted back
or why I skipped another thing I should’ve shown up for.

Motivation?
It’s not that I don’t want to do things.
It’s that I can’t.
Not metaphorically—literally.
Some days I sit at the edge of my bed
for an hour
trying to convince my legs
that standing isn’t a threat.
Trying to convince my brain
that brushing my teeth isn’t Everest.

People say,
“You just have to push through.”
As if I haven’t been pushing
every single ******* day
against a door that swings shut
every time I blink.

And yet—
Here I am.
Breathing.
Shaking.
Still here.

Not heroic.
Not inspirational.
Just... here.
And maybe that’s not a triumph,
but it’s what I must cling on to
as my only saving grace.
It's so difficult to describe how it feels
Anger is a normal emotional reaction,
Might lead to regrettable action.
Usually resulting in negative outcomes,
So learn to control your impulses sometimes.

Keeping your anger at bay is a skill,
Inhale through nose, through mouth you exhale.
Tense and slowly relax your muscles,
Like solving some kind of puzzles.

Pour all your anger out by writing,
And then destroy it by burning.
Let your emotions out by expressing,
Yet, you won't gain anything, by harming.

Visualize your happiest moments,
With your loved ones, ignore the torments.
Give your whole energy on self, as it will calm,
To others and self, do not cause any harm.

Blaming others has never helped,
On yourself, be focused.
Practice phrases or words that helps you control,
Visualize a pleasant scene being real.

Do things which get you bursting out laughing,
Music has been quite cathartic.
For anger is like a venom within,
For which, silence is the best medicine.

If used wisely, it can be your weapon,
but do not use it on someone.
Helps us with challenging goals,
who doesn't understand this remains a fool.

By
Sanji-Paul Arvind
An emotional feeling and expression,
That stirs the heart with much commotion.
Some express it through aggression,
While others find themselves in depression.

Sadness, like the weather, keeps on changing,
An unwanted weight that keeps on hanging.
Often masked as grief, jealousy, or stress,
Insecurity or anguish, better to suppress..

Sadness is an emotion we cannot escape,
Like the cycle of day and night, it takes many shapes.
A ride which doesn’t get you anywhere,
Knowing and accepting should be your prayer.

Experienced by everyone across the world,
A loss of someone or something, be brave and bold.
Disappointment to despair and quiet suffering,
These emotional states keep occurring.

Rejection from family, a friend, or lover,
Sickness or death of a loved one we suffer.
It signals our need for help and care, be keen,
Seek comfort and a shoulder to lean.

Sadness, one of the enduring emotions we bear,
Circulates through times of protest and despair.
When the sun sets and darkness takes its turn,
Know that sadness will fade, and joy will return.

By
Sanji-Paul Arvind
Lee Jul 24
Every time I remember something I nearly puke.
Maybe it’s just cause I haven’t eaten since two.
It’s two right now, yeah I mean twelve hours few.

I don’t actually remember, I just feel
emotion.  
The kind I get when I wanna sink in the ocean.
Though, I love my momma too much to make a commotion.
Draumgaldr Jul 23
Sleep, sweet Leviathan inside my heart,
Until the day and sun drift apart,
Until cold abandons winter,
Until fire abandons cinder.

Wake not when you hear their screams—
Though it gleams, though it gleams.

Wake not to sound nor to light,
Nor to my long, everlasting fight.
Shield your eyes and cover your ears,
Stay in the deep, stay in the deep.

And on the day that all will be fulfilled,
And you decide to spread your wings,
My heart may flutter, my soul may sink
From the thought of the horror you may bring.

Still, for now don’t wonder or try to ask—
Sleep on this lavender heart and bask,
With dreams you shall only dream alone,
With dreams that only to you are known.

For I’ll keep you still for howevermore,
Until every grain of sand leaves its shore,
Until they burn every piece of coal,
And every man sets free his soul,
And every paper soaked in poetry
Has been forgotten and lost.

For now, sweet Leviathan,
Sleep inside this heart—
Lest all the world fall apart.
This poem is a tender plea to the sleeping forces within us all—forces both magnificent and terrifying—that we hope to keep at bay, at least for now.
Lee Jul 23
Skin burns during moth week
If I had dusty little wings
I’d rinse them in the creek
Dry off on a branch
Though I’d be vulnerable until dry
Id do it every single day
Too keep my dust from bugging your eye
Everyone stood beside me,
Eyes brimming, hearts heavy,
Whispering my name
While my photo hung on the wall,
Framed in flowers,
Wrapped in silence.
Hey—what’s wrong with you all?
Why are you crying?
Can’t you hear me?
Don’t you see me?
But no one looks.
No one speaks.
Then came the cruel truth—
It struck like thunder.
My knees gave way,
My head throbbed with pain.
When I opened my eyes again,
Shadows loomed in every corner,
And the world had turned to black.
A strange, ice-cold hand
Gently stroked my skin—
And I knew.....
It was the end.
WAR IS ALWAYS NOT A SOLUTION FOR ANYTHING
alex Jul 22
Y’know,
the world is flying
right past you now
the water is dark and thrashing
approaching quickly
to flood your lungs
but not before
time floods your mind
with everything
you’re about to lose.

Never again, will you
elbow her in the backseat
dying of laughter
over something
no one else would get
Never see her cap and gown
and smile awkwardly
for a quick family pic
Never hold shaking hands
down the aisle.
The only church you’ll share now—
she’ll be in black,
you’ll be in a box.

Never again, will you feel
the leash tug
after some sly squirrel
Never again hear
a sudden bark
break a silent morning
and never again be greeted
by kisses and tail wags —
not now.
Instead he’ll sit
wondering where you went,
when you’re coming back

Never again, will you
love till your heart hurts
laugh till your ribs ache
cry till your throat’s sore
lie awake contemplating life
feel the familiar burn of the sun.
scream to the sky
just because
Never, experience
the extraordinary mess
that we call life —
ever again

And even if you wanted to—
even if you begged—
it’s too late now.
you’re already
going down.
Lee Jul 21
Come here unannounced
Pizza grease trapped in the seat
Say get in you ******* ***
You know I need to eat

Now In the tub I sit
Tears drip down my cheeks
You said If we ever had a kid
You’d only love it conditionally
Lee Jul 19
I’m Sorry, Sorry,
I know it’s lost the meaning.
I promise I know other words.
Or you could Rip out a rib or two,
Please leave me bleeding.
Next page