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do you ever feel like
your friends never cared about you?
like your entire existence never affected them?
hell they probs would've done better without you...
you've annoyed them ever since you met them
and now here you are
still bothering them...
you're probably the cause of their problems
or making their problems worse for them
and you know it
you hurt them so many times
and only came back to you
because you were weak
and couldn't go on without them in your life
you want them all for yourself
because you don't know how to speak
to other people and make friends...
how much longer
til you've broken beyond repair?
a year, a month, or just a few hours?
when will you finally be consumed with despair?
or have you already died inside
and are too scared you'll mess up
and have to explain to everyone that you don't have the will to live...
lelel tired
friendos probs hate me
like deep down they do
I'm so annoying cuz all I do is complain about how I wanna die
lol
#eh
m i a Oct 2016
i wonder if you're thoughts are flooding with memories of me,

i wonder if you wake up in the middle of the night and sigh, because you hurt me even in your dreams,

i wonder if you laugh and think of me,

i wonder if i flow through your mind like streams of water,

i wonder if you know what you did to my heart was basically slaughter,

you didn't even care that you killed every part of me,
but that's okay, im learning how to breathe without you.
xmxrgxncy Oct 2016
did anyone ever care about my flowers?
i never watered them
as they should have been
i drew them in gentle, attentive
detail and kissed every petal and leaf
i smelled their virtue until my arms
ached with the repose of memories and triggers

i never watered them as they should have been
for that would have required
slicing them.
Gods of Olympus
I call to you once again
Remember the little cherub?
She is dead, isn't she?
Hades, you saw her in the pit of hell
Burning, dying every single day
Just like her humanity
Slowly fading
Her love turns to anger turns to hate
Cruel Eros, he planned her death with Aphrodite
Together, they succeeded
A battle between the mind and heart.
Once again, they prove Athena and her kids can be conquered.
The Gods watch her die but still kept her body alive.
Why are you all staring at me?
I'm not her. I'm not questioning you from your actions.
I feel less emotion.
I'm an empty vessel.
A reincarnation of an angel who lost her way.
Gods guide me, for I am a new born
In the body of this dead angel, I'll inhabit.
Her body. My soul.
I would like to revise this but I'll do it later.  I need sleep.

If you were able to read SM cherub's God of Olympics, this is the second part of it. I feel sorry I deleted that account.
ahmo Aug 2016
i'm afraid there's nothing left in the tank but fumes and false hope.

aluminum is not a friend, it's a recyclable material that contains happiness when the world turns a blind eye to its ubiquitous pain and i am only a scarecrow in a field full of bodybuilders and terrifying childhood memories.

it's all too much. the emptiness is only invisible when the music bruises my ear-drums or when i think of how your lips and teeth felt on my bones. the band-aids will fall off but your words are branded like factory farms.

the worst part? i'm a sketch left on the easel in an abandoned schoolhouse. i'm a half-assed mannequin. i've translated the seasons into colorless cycles in cyclical misrepresentation. astute observation leads me to believe i'm the product of a meaningless procreation.

shutting off my eyes doesn't feed all of the starving souls who actually want all of this oxygen, and we have false hope that some of these fumes might turn into rice and beans and
the love we've always wanted

but never swallowed.
Kay P Jul 2016
Deafened am I, by the screeches of familiarity

for here I am, a man
a woman, a girl, a boy,
silent are your cries for change,
deaf am I to the monotonous yelling
you want change. I have changed
details, insubstantial, minuscule,
deaf to your judgement and lies
unable to hear your disappointment
I cannot hear your subtle cues
your doubt and leading questions
I cannot bear your curiosity
searching for what you’ve missed
missing your oblivious admirer
I am no longer she
July 8th, 2016
They never quite got along,
but nothing made them feel wrong,
She always told him, "of course dear"
Regardless of what she did 'r didnt hear

And the *** wasn't ever bad,
But then again it was rarely had,
And words of love were not exchanged,
But they were never quite estranged,

So none were sad when one ol' day,
He just happened to go away,
She never spoke of him poorly,
But never praised him as close to holy,

And he never grudged the mandated checks,
Nor did he ever give her an extra cent.
He never went out to drink until hurlin',
Nor did he seclude himself like Merlin,

And then some day they up and died,
Had a nice funeral,
But I didn't cry.
******** are those who do not create a future.

Probably ****** are those who stake their happiness on a future.
I can't see you.
I can't protect you.
Burning in your curiosity.
Huffing another smoke, unrelenting.
You don't understand the dream sugar.

What you want, is something important.
Something covered in whipped cream and bbq sauce.
Exactly, me.
Or not.

You see, I'm just a voice in my head.
Burning brownies baked with bread.
You don't like brownies and bread? Well go to hell.
They're my brownies.
Mine, something you can't claim because you have nothing.
No one, No idea and no value to anything.

You value your brain and **** it for not being enough.
Poison your body for not being able to take the strain of life.
Burn your cigarette to take away the pain of being alone.
Striking your soul, praying you never have to atone.

Cologne rhymes with alone you know. Funny coincidence right?
Brain power. Stained flower.
Hope and happiness. Dope and sadness.
Perception. Deception.
Search for
Purpose.
Not whats on the
Surface.

Oh my elusive friend, trying to take the pain away.
The point of life is not to avoid but to minimize.
Like the Japanese!
A child looks for purpose.
An adult works towards it.
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