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thispanman Apr 2020
Oversized clothes
Dresses galore
Both of them
Fit to one gender

Sports jerseys
Baggy shorts
I want those
but I'm a "girl"

Perky dresses
Lots of makeup
I'm told I must
Because I'm a "girl"

Anxiety fills me up
I need to be perfect
I need to be a daughter
I need to be a girlfriend
a wife
a mother

Why can't I be a child?
A lover?
A ren?
A human?

Why do you have to choose for me?
I'm not a girl, nor a boy, but a human who wants to be respected for being myself.
will Apr 2020
my skin is a mask
restricting and choking me
as I try to move
mikah Jan 2020
mama, i'm sorry for no grandchildren

papa, i didn't want this either

grandpa, i'm sorry i'm no granddaughter

grandma, i wish you loved Me.

sister, you accept me, i think

brother, please try to somehow understand

i know i'm a disappointing kid.
some gender dysphoria writes <3
Orchid T Aspen Jan 2020
not pet.

in window i sneak,
i see me alarmed
in glass, i ponder
the swish-locks they arm

not people!
inside,
not them, like me,
not scattered outside

no food for them waiting,
no fence for them pacing,
no kind of invading,
how come? how go?

see pet.

where found, i climb
in flurry, i bound
but they can't have
me,

not pet.
Written from a sad place.
Kai Dec 2019
It’s hard to breathe when I see
A body that doesn’t belong to me
It’s hard to rid water drops
When I ponder when will it ever stop

Cascading brown hair of mine
Dreamed to cut it for a couple of dimes
My lilted feminine voice
Reminds me I am a girl with no choice

Who is that in front of me?
An imposter, a demon, could it be?
My soul breaks into a weep
Until, there stood somebody just like me

Hair silky, smooth, white like snow
His porcelain complexion barely glows
Peach pouty and heart shaped lips
Eyes are deep black caves, like a mystic maze

Earbuds glued into his ears
Face of dopiness or could it be fear?
Slender, short legs carry him
When he passes by I stupidly grin

When will I see him again?
Forget it, he’s likely graduating
Dejection bounced in my mind
Where I’m from, my kind of love was a crime

Two and a half years passed by
I’m in the big school and no longer shy
Walked the great halls with belief
Until, there stood somebody just like me

He did change and so has I
I cut my hair, but he’s got the same eyes
Tousled rough black hair, shaved sides
Much less heavy, which came by a surprise

Our eyes locked like magnets
Studied his lips, my gaze hard as granite
His shoulder brushed against mine
Stomach tingles and my heart intertwines

Staring at him paralyzed
I cannot look away, I don’t know why
He looks like someone I know
Someone I knew back a while ago

Is it wrong if I pursue?
Do you think it’s weird that I follow you?
Hopeless like a winter tree
Until, there stood somebody just like me

Once it’s over I’ll feel blue
When you graduate I won’t forget you
Hope you’ll remember me too
It’s nice to have someone to relate to
This is a poem I wrote for a guy in school who inspires me more than anyone ever could.
Update: We're friends :)
Orchid T Aspen Dec 2019
They stand
like I almost did,
look like I almost do,
and speak like I almost have.
'=================='

But they walk from me,
leaving me ugly and bared by my ill name,
without any purchase in the words I have left,
'============================='

and they return to those
who waited for them
to just come back.
'==========='

They become
hurting and healing
in one fluid stroke,
forgetting about
the edge they have always
walked along.
'========'

They are ready to stand next to them
instead of me,
in my stead,
by my heart,
'======='

so I turn back to the mirror
and refuse to let
someone who
doesn't want
to be real again
walk away from me.
Arden Dec 2019
I can feel it getting tighter
And
It's strangling me

My heart racing
And
Head pounding

I thought this was gone
But
It's back

I was done with this
But
I guess not

Someone help me
I'm suffocating

Ice
A knife

There's blood
There's so much blood

This is not what I wanted
I just wanted it gone
Jake Welsh Nov 2019
Eve is walking up some stairs,
he imagines falling off,
and then part of himself does.

from then on he can’t tell
whether he’s at
the top or the bottom
or the bottom or the top

“where is my head?” down there
“where is my child?” nowhere
he carried him like she carries him

black hair. blue eyes. tan skin.
different but the same.
Eve turns the corner and takes another step
upwards.
from "midnight" 2018
available @: https://www.etsy.com/shop/leafandplume
Mia Sadoch Nov 2019
I'm losing touch.
I'm drifting away, never to return.
I can barely fight, my courage,
Vanished, vainquished, lost in pain.

How must I get to what I desire
When I can't even feel myself breathing?
How must I show competence
In anything, with this pain imprisoning me?

Free me from this husk,
And bring me to life.
Written for a prompt challenge I'm undertaking. I thought I'd write a poem instead of prose this time.
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