Solitude was a drug I injected straight into my veins, sending every bit of isolation towards my heart with great anticipation. Like any other substance,  I ignored the deterioration it casted upon my being for the sake of reassuring myself I was okay.

Loneliness was dizzying, electrifying every nerve ending as I soon began to become aware of myself and what little I surrounded myself with. We come into this world alone ----- and alone we die.

With the mantra amplified, why bother?

don't fight the ropes that tie around your fragile barrier of skin.
don't scream, there's gauze on your mouth.
dont walk for chains forbid the legs to move.
love is a drug.
until you're in so deep they have you strangled.
dont, dont, dont you say as they crumble your dreams.
but you wouldnt have it any other way.
the pain, the sacrifice, may never end but as long as their smile is in your eyes, not a single thing matters. not a single thing

I see you not, but completely
Your eyes twinkle
You and my thoughts smother me in goose pimples
Pores, blemishes, weathered wrinkles
Delicious Pigment, salt and pepper sprinkles
Your imperfections are my weak spot
Aesthetic flaws a turn on
Dark lashes
Dreamy brown eyes
How your eyelids crinkle when you squint in the light
An impulse to run my hands through your ebony hair
behind your ear, let me linger here
And down to the sides
Of your neck
Your skin reacts with my breath
To touch with mine, that bottom lip
That thought's enough to make my tummy flip
The desire to explore your face
Is impossible to articulate
I don’t possess the vocabulary
To do you justice poetically
But can we get back to your neck
For just a sec
You know, that part just below your ear
Has me longing to place my mouth there
And I’ve not yet mentioned your hands
How I yearn for them to explore my lands
Entwine them in mine, till the thickness of your fingers and the Slenderness of mine, in time, demand change
I’ll open my palms inviting your embrace
Aroused by the pressure and the weight and pace
Your fingers trace my face
And brush my lips, I turn my head, closing my eyes
Savouring the skin on skin collide
In encouragement and moorish praise
Wondering if our thoughts are the same
Speaking words I would never have usually found
Or said out loud
But how can I rephrase
I'm high on dopamine pathways
My mind a maze, my body ablaze
You are a drug
I can't overdose enough
My brain rewards with desire and lust
An addictive thrill, a heightened rush

Daydreams end and drugs wear off
Realities crush
Until the next time I get high on you and us

In her closed eyes, I am perfect

Her confidence is warm
All her flaws are lost

But she runs away
When I like her the most

She is destructive.
Her smoky tail curves and curls around you,
Whipping her deadly gases about.

She breathes out a swirling rainbow
That seems to drown out anything else.
Her breath fades into a deep blackness that consumes everything in sight.

The tar on her skin drips from her tear ducts
and falls upon the ground, sizzling and creating voids
On every inch of free space.

How ugly she is,
And yet she entices you.
How long have you been her entrapped prisoner?
How long have you been chasing after her?

Never love your captor,
Never chase the destruction.
Never say the fire warms you
When I can so clearly see the burns on your skin.
Never say the blade is dull
When you have blood dripping from your wounds.
Never tell me that White Demon has no grip on your forearm,
When I will watch you dragged through mud and blackness
At the cruelty of her hands,
Blindly and unknowing.

How long have you lusted for the White Demon?

This might be more than
a little risk
But is it too much to ask
for your dopamine kiss?

I rolled my mom some joints
from the onion skin of a fat
volume of Shakespeare.

"This is gonna make you smart,"
I said as I licked the dry paper
and admired my handiwork.
"Hell, you may even start quoting
Romeo and Juliet."

She smiled. It was the least
I could do for her.

And, living with an addict,
it was the least I could do for myself.