There once was from Mount Disappointment
A fella who lubed with some ointment
     A patch of dry skin
     Till he sinned a gross sin
And missed an important appointment.

I’m going to miss him
The sweet talk
The cuddling and kissing
The laughing

His family
His dogs
His friends

But at the same time
Is there more to miss?

Should I miss the messages he never sent me,
The time he never made for me,
The energy he never had,
The way he led me on?

All the suffering and insecurities that he gave me
Am I going to miss that?
I sure hope I do not

I just want to be outside...all day.
Well, from 4 to 2 Monday thru Friday.
I just want to feel some pride.
Where whatever it takes is right.

I wish there was a place.
Trying my hardest, wasn't a waist.
Where I can learn from mistakes.
Without fear of shame.

To throw myself into whole.
Be glad to leave a bit of my soul.
To net a livable wage.
To live to buy and to save.

To have something to look forward to.
This is my wish I wish would come true.
It used to exist, but now just eludes.
I just want a job I want to go to.
A.R.M.

a little bit of violence goes a long way.
say no to your reflection,
watch it fall apart into scattered fragments.
all of them are still you, remember?
now they can be used as a concealed weapon.
if you choose to do so, aim at the heart,
for you're not a butcher, you're a sculptor,
and this shard isn't a knife, but a scalpel.
watch the lines disappear as you cut.
it's unlike you to worry about blood
as long as it doesn't stain your dress,
as long as you lose some parts
in the process,
getting rid of all the unwanted layers.
all of them used to be you, remember?
kept asleep by injections,
kept awake by the pain.
flaws don't have a say on the matter.
a little bit of violence goes a long way.

Wanting a hug that doesn't seem to come
texts left hanging, I guess we're undone.
Wasn't asking for much,
just a chance to be heard.
Feel like a munch,
faded plans and no word.

A boy’s wandering heart,
Dreaming and envisioning the perfect partner.
Hoping and praying they aren’t already taken.
Hiding and lying his true self,
Deflecting and protecting till he meets her.
Questioning and wondering if she’s even out there.
Breaking and crumbling under pressure,
Crying and trying to keep moving forward.
Thinking and finding that he was mistaken,
Learning and knowing that people can be heartless.
Waiting and standing back at the start.
Searching and scouring for the one,
Hoping and praying she hasn’t found someone.
Perhaps I need to leave my small pond,
Then I’ll find the one.

Yes, aspiring
To be that space where nothing
Brings disappointment

I said convince me you love me, and you say keep this only in the mind
But you forgot that I wanted something concrete, written, and left for all to find

I said convince me you love me, and you say here is a page I filled out
But I thought you would prove more devout

I said convince me you love me, and you say here are the words you requested it’s finished
But you let typos into your letter and fill it

I said convince me you love me, and you say clichés are to be condemned
But cliches are only cliches if you care to say them

I said convince me you love me, and you say words restated depreciate
But words never said leave me with nothing to appreciate

I said convince me you love me, and you say here is an idiom I don’t think you’ll get
But you weren’t supposed to make me upset

I said convince me you love me, and you say thanks
But you should have said I love you, you shouldn't have left any blanks

I said convince me you love me, and you tell me your words have been chosen carefully, casually, and with the intention of being a fleeting moment of the present
But I did not feel that

I said convince me you love me,
But I am unconvinced

A villain I made you out to be
But the truth is what I failed to see
Rather hear 'cause repeatedly you didn't fail to say
But I guess I didn't want to see it that way

I played a part in your unjust blame,
Now remorse holds me, drowning me in shame
A human you are—not demon nor saint,
Not a battle to win, so I yield in restraint

Open my eyes, I shall finally do
I'm tired of lies that I disguised as you
I can silence my cries and let go of you
Finally my eyes are open, now I can say goodbye to you