..Optimism..
What is optimism?
Optimism is when honest isn't...
It’s when you say that word
Cuz what you keep wanting to happen
Ends up happening different..
It’s when that night demon in your head
Keeps taunting you in your bed
By telling you to give in
but you refuse to listen
and talk back to it instead like
“Hey everything happens for a reason”
Ya keep on dreaming…

..Optimism..
That’s when you try to make lemonade
out of the lemons that life has handed you
even though they’re rotten..
That’s when you pour cold water
over the dead flowers you’ve been gifted
only to watch them drown
when you just wanted to
make them blossom
That’s when you look at
your own glass as half full
But ignore the poison in the glass
that’s it’s half full of regardless

…Optimism...
When the hope that you’ve always had
slowly turns into denial
until you deny that you have no hope
And it becomes a cycle for you to cope
With something you can’t let go of
Even when you know it’s long forgotten...

Ya it’s easy to say that “sky’s the limit”
when your chin is only
kept the **** up
Because you refuse to see
that underneath you
Is rock bottom

Optimistic -> caustic-> until you’re drop-kicked
into a neurotic mental hardship..
so… what is optimism?

Simply put:
..Optimism is toxic..

Weather patterns.. predictable..
It’s like I’m trying to wax the poetic
Just to mask the aesthetic..
Still painting the black skies that hover
over you in my presence as ****..
Ya your grey clouds are electric.
Oh it’s just part of your charm?
This toxic personality storm
acid rain down on me
And when it’s raining it pours
Oh please excuse the floors
It’s just their personality flood
See caution tape at the doors
To avoid at all costs
Their hazardous conditions that pour
that cause their thunder to roar
crashing down on me, lightning
All because I struck a nerve
All because I’ll never learn
All while I try to endure
Over and over again..
You'd swear I’m chasing the storm
keeping my head above water
In the same flood you created
That you stand knee deep in denial.
Your crashing waves pull me under
..No more chance of survival,
Just another dead body
Washed up to the shore
This what you wanted or no?
What was all of this for?
The only thing that’s for certain
At least I know is for sure…

You may have broken my spirit..
*But my soul has weathered your storm