curtains closed, hood up,
doors barricaded,
windows ******* shut

another pipe,
another hit,
that was a mistake,
**** it

lie down, close eyes,
heart racing,
telling me lies,
need a mask, another guise

panic
panic
what was that noise?

deluded thoughts persisting,
mind twisting,
panic ever increasing,
endorphins releasing

lie down, get back up,
will this panic ever stop?

another pipe,
another hit,
that was a mistake,
**** it

(c) mandy rigby 03/13/2014

it's four am,
and i am lying in
the bed that cracks
every time somebody
touches it,
just like i me.
and i stare at the ceiling,
thinking about my
****** up life
and how i will
run away even
further.
i m just hoping
that nobody will
be looking for me and
nobody will find me,
because i do not
want to be found.

Everyday,
I stare at my face in the mirror,
Wondering, wondering, wondering,
Why do I have acne?

I eat the slice of double cheese pizza that's cooling in my hand,
Putting it down, I touch the underdeveloped pimples on my face,
Popping each one out of irritation,
I finish by drinking two can of coco cola after.
*Oh*, what a healthy life style I'm living!

My mental defects
are like cracks on the wall
I look through them
Into whole different worlds

One shows me a world
where pain isn't real
and I am free to slay
who ever I wish to ****

One other crack reveals
a realm of black rain
where I see nothing,
nothing but pain

One glance through another
shows me a world
where no one loves me
and everything's cold

Once I glanced into a world
as hot as the sun
and I was the one
who burnt it all down

One world is showcasing me
as I'm stabbing my heart
uselessly trying
to tear it apart

One of them earths
reveals me as a wreck
while I am swinging
hanged from the neck

One of the cracks
shows nothing at all
that is the one
I fear will break down the wall