my skin & my flesh
all through my veins.
they tell me, let it out
so i do, but i can't
and i hide it
so no one sees
everybody knows
but nobody really knows
so i cover it up.
no swimming
never swimming
always drowning,
drowning in these
thoughts

when i was a child
my father never checked the closet
i never asked him too
i knew what was hiding there
the secrecy and the skeletons i lay to rest
i kept it shut tightly
locked and sealed
like my mouth
never open long enough
for anyone to know what was going on inside
not even a locksmith could pry open
my closet doors

Livin’ like harry potter,
In the closet I hide wishing everything was better.
Love wins they say,
But why do I see people killed every day?
Humanity I need you now,
Accept the people who are giving vows
To the one they love and so proud about,
Because acceptance is all their heart shouts
Now, I stand with pride with the colors in my heart,
With my family and friends that’s with me since the start.

Why do you care so much are you gay?
A question I remember often being asked.
How illogical it is to assume your child
will be anything other than straight,
to be raised on the belief that other
was either a phase or a sin.
Maybe I just care about people as human beings -
or maybe there was something more to it.
How wrong it felt to push my sexuality in a corner
and pretend it did not exist.

Once I pushed past that,
the feeling was surreal.
Finally embracing your true self
is a feeling you never forget.
I did not choose this;
To fall in love with words, personalities, feelings,
never confined to gender,
but I have accepted it.
That is what is most liberating.
I feel free.
~ I.M

i used to call your heart home.
my safe place is no longer with you.

If I told you I could love,
Would you finally be happy?
See me grovel at your feet, submit to your delusions of
The perfect world in the palm of your hand.

If I told you I could lust,
Would I satisfy your thirst with my lies?
Sweet drops of honey covered deception, the sting solely in my heart.

Could I live like this, I wonder.
If only I could face the road of rotten land, live in the shadows and the muck of sweet lies,
Of honey covered poison.

I understand that you are shocked
I know you are confused
But say something
Please
Say something

When you say nothing
Just get out and shut the door
A million possibilities go through my mind

Will he tell everyone?
Will he ever see me the same?
Does he hate me?

I had expectations for your reaction
Yelling
Crying
Blaming me for something I have tried to change
But your reaction is silence

And trust me, I have tried to change it
Tried to starve it out
Cut it out
Deny every feeling

Until i felt nothing

Nothing
Just like your reaction

I cannot answer questions you do not ask
I cannot reassure your concerns if you do not voice them
I can do nothing if you give me nothing

My sense of self was put at your feet
But you walked away
True, you didn't stomp on it
But you did not pick it up
You left me on the ground
Now i'm here.
Waiting.

Just please

Say someting