Grey day cardigan
Jumper red and knitted green
Colours of winter

she said
that i manage
to reduce
the nicest moments
into their
most negative
aspects
my eyes wandered
as she spoke
falling upon
an extravagant
burst of
the sun's rays
exploding through
the rolls
of pearly cloud
colouring the sky
with blooming petals
of pinks
and oranges
haloed by yellows
and creams
a sight
to marvel at
perhaps
but without
the imperfection
of that
darkened shroud
this light
would not
be mixed
into such
artistic palettes
and
the magnificence
of the scene
would go
unnoticed

Is it black, or is it red,
as it mostly makes me feel blue,
when a lover is just a memory in my head...

Purple shades in the passion of our love,
a yellow delight, if it feels destined from above.
But for some, a whitish-gray when their about to ***.
Those who believe they're shooting out their love...

Green for the envy of those displaying their
affections in public. Pantone 448 C, for some
people's love is quite ugly. But in the warmth of
us being orange, I warn the woman I love to ease off
the long hugs. As my tenderness is a light pink, so a
quick hug if you please...

                               We've all got our shade of colour,
                                                 to the feelings of love.

I made a list of caveats
For the designs you constructed,
From thoughts in my mind
And for one, you know me too closely
It is too frightening
The way you find constellations
In broken skies
And propriety from my colouring
Outside the lines
Then, within my bones, too unstructured,
You found the sun in their moonlight complexion
And you confess your secrets
That these letters and conversations we’ve exchanged
Hang in a gallery in your head

Etched sentiments
And faded drawings of everything resolute

The journey started from me looking for a partner loyal, family oriented, committed, knowledgeable and sort of an ideal ma

quite opposite to him
but now looking back, it strikes me major things in ife are sense of humor, fun, friends, understanding, someone who aspires to be better each day,  

and now it just makes me sick that none of this is there
I feel am stuck in walls surrounded with heavy silence, no laughter and smiles, orthodox mindset, traditional setup, no way to improve on yourself

I don't understand why this world has defined how a daughter in law should be
What should she wear
How should she talk
When should she wake up
What should she eat
And most important of all
In the mindset of the Indian Society she shouldn't leave the house at all

this is what i am facing
i feel that it is sin to speak up your mind
when i was always taught the opposite
i feel in the scenario like this it is sin to be who you are
and I have always followed the opposite

I am expected to change myself
because apparently i dont fall under the definition of ideal "bahu"

And Why marriage comes with so many compromises on adjustments
and as far as i am understanding girls here are expected to adjust in the family
why??? are we not human beings
Why we are not allowed to dream
Why we are not allowed to speak up against the wrong happening to them
Why we are just expected to be silent and say nothing

I dont know who will survive this
this is getting difficult each day

i feel somebody has caged me in an apartment luring me with open windows that there is a world outside but no you are not allowed to leave as per your wishes

I feel somebody has caged me in a room you are not allowed to keep open because thats not the way it should be, apparently doesnt fall under their list of ideal bahu

I feel somebody has caged me in a place you are not allowed to wear eat breathe sit stand as per your wishes

I know all this can be easy but not for a person like me

whose basis of survival is the word "Freedom"
Freedom to eat sleep talk act roam listen sit stand wherever and whenever
as per her heart

The world here is expecting her to just give up on herself totally.
but then what they are getting in return??

what happiness they will get in return
where will this take them ??
Nowhere!!!
they will be left with a person who is  lifeless and colorless

Nobody to hear me screaming
Nobody to see me drowning

This is affecting my inner soul
but who is bothered??
noone!!!

because now that i am married , i am their asset
and no am not allowed to live my life as per my wishes

Because
"Bahu" is expected to make compromises and adjustments each day.

Leave the rut
The comfort zone
Let the magic happen

Be yourself
Not someone else
Needn't any shepherds

You're a star
You're meant to shine
Leave the hate to others

Be yourself
No matter what
Proudly wear your colours