You breathe your salty sobs into my neck
each teary breath against my flesh
creating chills
not unlike the ones your kisses used to cause.
But, this is it.
Goodbye, farewell. You'll be something
for someone else, and I'll likely stay the same.
I can tell you're running out of somedays
and I can't bear to watch me break your heart...

Darling, I'm a natural disaster
so pack your bags and save yourself...
save yourself for someone who deserves you.

I blamed you before, but not anymore
I'll cry out my pain, stop beating the horse slain
I'll move past the lies, stand up tall and try
I swear I'll be great, when I'm given my clean slate

I won't forgive him, no, I won't hate him though
He did me wrong, yes, but it's time to move on
I'll put down my knives, maybe have one last cry
I'll suit up for hardships, stop running from relationships

I'll fix myself up, take risks and try my luck
I won't be scared of everything, I'll live for the next spring
I won't hang myself anymore, I know fixing me up was a chore
And you won't have to worry, because this time I'm sorry

You'll never have to hurry home, wondering what I've done
Never have to cry, thinking, once again, I've tried to die
I'll start looking for love, maybe give someone my trust
I won't fester in my hurt, I'll actually do my work

I'll be better, I promise
I'll be better, I swear
I'll be better, in time
I'll be better this year

I'll find the people who love me
For being only who I am
I'll find those people and you'll see
I'm no longer the sacrificial lamb

And yes, this is my revenge
Living the best I can
And I'll live to show him I'm better
I'll be better than that man

I'll learn from his mistakes
I'll treat my children right
I know I've what it takes
I'll make it through these nights

So just wait for me
If you think I'm worth the time
I'll fix myself
And take the life that's mine

alcohol.
drunk at 5am
emotions are running high
she thinks she will overcome it

afraid.
fear of  life;
her own self
waiting for the
untold death.
she thinks it will go away.

"she is still the same"
"she wont change"
the beast in her heart
she can't tame

"she doesn't want to change"

these voices
echo and bounce
through her mind
she is tired of not listening

she doesn't want
to hear the words
that cause her ****** agony
she succumbs and
almost believes it

her ***** mind's tricks.

you can't
you wont
you can't stand a chance

what if she can change?

but what if she's in the process?

somewhere
between that
shot of alcohol
and her drunk 5am
thoughts,
something changed.

she brought forth
catharsis.
the emotional cleanse
gave herself a fresh start
just like a brand-new
haircut.

she gave another chance;
a rebirth of the old
a light for the new
she said adieu
and also thank you

emotions
will get the best of you
sometimes;
but i hope
you can overcome them too.

(b.d.s.)

I could punch myself in the face
or I could grow up.
None of us, or any of this
is perfect; it's okay to not
measure up. Measure to what?
The beauty of life is
that the definition is all my own.
No one can tell me what it is.
I am sitting in the sun.
I can smile.
I forgive myself.
I love
myself.
This is the best poetry I could write.
The beauty of poetry is
that the definition is all my own.
No one can tell me what it is.
I am a pearl, however misshapen
I may be the world is my oyster.
It's mine. It's mine. It's mine.
I could get used to that.

This isn't what you wished
Upon that small baby
This isn't what you wished

This isn't the head you kissed
The head of that baby
This isn't what you kissed

This isn't what you held
The weight of that baby
This isn't what you held

This isn't what you smelled
The scent of that baby
This isn't what you smelled

This isn't what you felt
Felt for that baby
This isn't what you felt.

This isn't how it was supposed to be
This isn't what you imagined
This isn't what you meant me to see
The isn't what you'd bargained

This isn't the life you choose to live
This isn't the trust you chose to give
This isn't the love you once entrusted
This isn't the marriage to which you'd come in

This isn't the daughter you once knew
This isn't the love you walked into
This isn't the hope you'd had before
This isn't the love in fairytale's lore

This isn't at all what you expected
This isn't at all what you should have collected
This isn't the right end for an angel
This isn't, as it seems, quite so fatal

But this is me
Imperfect glory
Oh, this is me
With a sad, sad story

This is me
Timeless and dying
This is me
The blood I'm crying

This is me
The failure's jive
This is me
The end of a life

This is me
On sanity's cliff
This is me
Ready to drift

This is me
Desperate and wanting
This is me
Pretending and flaunting

Yes, this is me
Your youngest daughter
And it's not at all what you wanted
My dearest mother

This is me
The smoke, the pain
This is me
For loss, for gain

This is me
This is that baby
This is me
Now a young lady

This is me
Looking for love
This is me
Small and starstruck

This is me
On the wrong path
This is me
Treading on broken glass

This is me
Begging for help
This is me
****** to hell

This is me
Waiting to be saved
This is me
Turning away

This is me
Nearing Death's door
This is me
Saying I can take no more

This is me
With smoke in my lungs
This is me
Absorbing the sun

This is me
With knife in hand
This is me
Enjoying the land

This is me
Pleasing those men
This is me
Washing my hands

And this isn't what you wanted
And this is why you cry
And this isn't what I expected
And this is why I wish to die

Oh, this is why my mind is unclean
This is why you weep
This is why we couldn't foresee
And this is why I can't sleep

This is why the night is frightening
This is the absence of hope
Yet this is why we live
And this is why we cope

And this isn't life
This is unidentified
And this isn't strife
This is why we live and die

Maybe this is a maybe
Maybe this is uncertainty
Maybe this is a per say
Maybe this is you, is me

Yes, maybe this is human
Though this is inhumane
Maybe this is *******
And cannot be contained

Maybe maybe is uncertainty
Maybe maybe is insanity
Maybe maybe is a waste of hope
Maybe maybe is the knife at our throats

This is me
With a ring on my finger
This is me
With a kiss on my lips

This is me
With a love that lingers
This is me
With a sway to my hips

This is my reflection
So pretty, so ugly
This is my reflection
So imperfect, so me

This is life
Tiring and refreshing
This is time
A burden unrelenting

These are my friends
My children, my life
These are my friends
So perfect, so right

And this is pain
And this is gain
And this is love
And this is hate
And this is trust
And this is my place

But first
Foremost

This is me.