The snowman
stood there
silently
in the corner of the park.

I think
it was crying
as he melts away
in the same place
he was born.

I feel trapped
Though I'm not
I'm free as a bird
Soon to be shot

I can't breathe
It seems I'm trapped
Yet there's no latch
That I can clasp

Invisible forces
Cage me still
I am free
But not from myself.

I tried to teach my hamster
To dance around the cage,
But soon found out that hamsters
Were not created for the stage.

you hold dark weddings in your slumber
where the groom is no more than a fixture
painted smile brittle and small
mothers hold cages they wish upon
daddies girl no longer blue-eyed saint
your bestie too drunk to carry your tune
where the cake is bitter
the gifts torn

i looked to you but could not be seen
so a lament came to my wicked lips
looked to you and all I could see was the gravity
that drew me into you
a stranger with her own maps and masks
showing the straight line between your dusk and dawn
a statement of what's not fair
strange you love me

looked into you
a stranger who comes up slowly
I colour with magic markers the darkness in your eye
make it as pretty as you wished
hide it all away
I sleep each night inches away
from your slow walking fear
as you toy with silk strewn lusts
sweet asylum that is never too close
always far too near

I looked to you but could not be seen
so a lament came to my wicked lips
mumbled a carpet of apologies
spread out 'neath your feet
as you dip one toe into the waters
you called me
but when I looked to you
you looked away

there is a ship that sails tonight
I can see us on it
we wave bye-bye in slow motion capture
I can see joy in your eye
dance cheek to cheek under the moonlight
shine cause I know you like to touch dreams
breathe for me girl
just keep dancing 'neath starry sky
ill crash your dark weddings
catch your tears before they can fall
be waiting on your morning doorstep
come home to find me
come home from those inches away
look into you
just for you
not that someone
in a dark wedding day

The darkness feels like it's consuming me.
My heart feels clouded with its constant dark suffocating fog.
How much can one person take?
There's these claw marks on my heart.
My soul was bleeding & I kept bandaging it up.
I tried to take the bandages off & let the wound heal.
It takes a sort of bravery to face that pain.
There was righteous anger, sadness, anxiety & confusion.
But I held onto hope & courage.
What a fool I have been.
Thinking that anything will change.
Nothing is changing.
People are stuck in their ignorance & can be so cruel.
My anger, my hope, my determination feels like it's all running out.
The darkness is taking over.
I don't know how much more fight I have in me.
The nothingness is trying to capture me.
I'm tired of fighting.
Maybe in a cage at least I'll be safe and know what to expect.
I don't know anymore.

you branded me
angry red marks soiling soft skin
my body now a cage to the wild soul within

and like a stallion, i love you more when i'm broken