(this is to be read to the rhythm of tapping ******* of one hand against the wrist of the other twice, then repeating the action but using the opposite hand)

i belong on the train at night
track goes by with ***** of light
never will i leave or ever arrive
far in the distance, a child cries

(repeat repeat repeat repeat)
(repeat repeat repeat repeat)

(stop when you have calmed down or when the repetition becomes so that you hurt yourself. repeat everytime you can't handle your own existence)

I am a demon
I am my wicked thoughts

An anarchist to everything
Pure, simple and true.

I clean my teeth with your despair
destroy your dreams with one simple laugh
I can twist your words like curls around a finger

and yet
I am my own demon picking at my own voices
hoping they would crack and bleed
just another ant on the surface or a zero in binary code
craving to be something honest
maybe even simple
up high on the mountains with delicate, glass bones
I want to cause celebration from my own destruction.

As it sounds sad
For a reason
I can't understand
Even after I extended them
A helping hand
Also a good Samaritan
I shook off their dust
And pulled them up
From the sand,
There are people
Who do  me
Things bad
Daring
"Do good to s/he
Who did  you
Things bad!"
Topsy-turvy
On its head stand.

But up on
A bit reflection
Something bubbles up
To my attention
Despite His
Benevolence untold
That is exactly what
I am doing on God.

Envoy

"Forgive your erring friend
Seventy times seven
If you want Me
To welcome you in heaven!"

Humans

We are humans
Born to do many a thing.

To climb mountains
And see the world,
Winning trust
With those they say we should hate


But we
Are the masters of ignorance.
No cry unheard.
Stone unturned.
Love
Which should have been given years ago.

You are human
And for reasons I cannot deny
I hate you.
For what you have done to them.
To him, her, and every other child
Warrior mother father cousin
I hate you.


I am human.

All I can do is hate myself
For not caring
Or giving a second thought.
Feeding off the hunger
Of sickened bodies that lay
But I wish to do nought
For another day.

Love myself
For quenching your thirst;
The bait of sin is desire
For reading your story;
Mine was much better
            And.
   For loving you  

But in the end.
         We are Human
And that is what we do.

It's not how many times I  retreat,
it's how many times I come back
that makes a man of a boy.