Let's talk about mental health,
Let's break down the stigma.
Depression is challenging,
Anxiety, an enigma.
Anorexia, Schizophrenia,
Bipolar or OCD.
Whichever, whatever; repeat:
″Mental health begins with me!"
Don't believe everything you think,
It's ok to not be ok.
Don't rush yourself or force a smile,
Just take it day by day.
It's progress over perfection,
And remember you're not the only one.
Your illness does not define you,
Believe in the person you want to become!

Are you okay?
I reply No
Oh well society says
You don't belong to us
With smooth pale faces
Secrets are hidden among us
Besides you aren't
Enough for our Standards
Sorry you didn't make the cut
You can always apply next year

At times
I think of myself
as an onlooker, an observer.
At times, I live my life
by witnessing it.

At such times
when I step aside from the midst
my anxiety ceases to exist.

she walks in rain clouds




she walks in rain clouds
on bright crisp winter days



the night
                         and it’s terrors            still haunting


                                    the infantwomanchild


innocence          a foreign term
ravaged by.                               that which cannot be.
          
                  u .   t.   t.  e.    r.   e.   d.  



          __________


held captive

     in the horrors of darkness that plague her

      despite the rays that warm her face      her hands are icicles
                                                         ­                   protruding from appendages
                                                      ­                      blue and veiny
                                                           ­               

                                                ­                               nearly necro
                             in both body and soul

               as neither dawn nor day
                 hold solace       their strength sapped by the all too real battering

                    of the loathsome black hours that trap them
                      

          _______­_


consumed

        in the hangover
              of fear and remembrance
       she looses her way                 on a path she has trodden many many times
             but never left a crumb trail


         ___________


solitude frightens her
        as does silence            the demons that lie in wait there
        terrify her
                        to her core         she restlessly seeks out companionship

                                                    busies herself with distractions


           futile attempts to vanquish
                     the memories that plague the stillness



              __________


­
she walks in rain clouds
      on bright crisp winter days
        
            tenaciously holding on to her umbrella

So you are Death
a scavenger of breath
a vulture for pleasure
Preying on life's treasure
Each heart beat you measure...
You, have prettified me to my core
But no more!  
Fear will no longer keep score
Today I welcome you at my door
Come in!
Leave your footprints on my floor
To remind me never to crawl
Join me on this journey
drown in my ecstasy
******* sexuality
Lose control in my fantasies....
Penetrate deep into my darkness
I have nothing to hide
Come along and alight upon this ride
Just for once jive on this other side
Be alive like a bee hive
Observe and find your mind
Transfixed on love and lust
and bodies entwined
Listen to my excitement mount
as you choke yourself
on my account

Oh Death,
What a mistake I have made!
A coward to my bursting urges to be free
Afraid of your ever presence to be ME
I've been a prisoner of my own judiciary
But now I see like the blind
who sees for the first time
And I accept your crime
I embrace your truth!
I invite you to share the joys of my youth
And beyond
where boundaries no longer bond
Live vicariously through me and persist
Inhale every moment to fully exist!
And when you decide my time is up,
feel the emptiness of this bottomless cup
The excruciating sadness that fills it up
to leave this journey we are on
I want you to forever remember
that once you lived as a contender  
Not as a lifeless tree in December
But in full bloom
Fresh from the womb
Life! the greatest gift to be given
Ah to give! and NOT to be taken!
But alas, even you have no jurisdiction