15 | 31 Poems for August

I’m slowly progressing but progressing nonetheless.
The worst thing I could do is give up on myself.
The worst thing I did this week was give up on myself.
Sometimes dreams delayed feel like dreams denied.
If you asked how I’m holding up and I responded by saying “I’m okay” then chances are I probably just lied.
Everyone’s caught up in their own world, if you don’t see me tomorrow then know that I tried.
I’m sorry I don’t want to bother or burden anyone with my problems.
I know you’ve never seen me cry but I can no longer hide all that I’m feeling inside.
Some people suffer in silence because of self-importance and a little bit of pride.
But that’s not me, I put my heart on paper and I let it all bleed.
But lately I’ve come to realise that not everyone likes to read.
So I ask myself, who am I writing all these resplendent poems to?

the fires of an august sun,
the leaves a dream  
of shadows.

I will miss these August nights
the neighbors partying in the next garden

wishing on shooting stars
drinking my third cider

the cat, catching moths
by the outdoor light

the music of a lost summertime
caught in passing rain showers

unwritten letters
playing on my mind

thinking that yesterday
it was your birthday, friend

& that each August
we've been separated

I have thought of you
even if you haven't thought of me

Leo: Remember everyone is fighting. Be patient, forgive, but never allow yourself to be a doormat to those who care less about you than you do them. Forget the wrath. Find the joy in the power it brings you.

Virgo: Do not stunt your growth trying to entertain the opinions of other people. You know in the end, you have to be the most important person in your life. Grow.

Libra: Quit running. You will never find yourself in other people, so stop trying. Desperation does not look good around your neck. Hold your chin high and look inside yourself for what you need.

Scorpio: Go. Stop leaving claw marks in your wake. Know that what you think you need is not always so. You are worth more than what you have been selling yourself for. Pride is important to you, but it is still okay to cry if you need to. Say goodbye to what is less than you.

Sagittarius: It is okay to say no. Don’t apologize anymore for having an opinion. Speak your mind, let yourself be heard. Do not quiet your desires for someone else’s.

Capricorn: The past doesn’t matter anymore. Close the book, shut the door. Stop searching for answers and know that it all happened for a reason. It will make sense soon if you let it.

Aquarius: Do not make friends with your demons. Clean the skeletons from your closet. Take a long walk tonight and allow yourself to feel the weight of sadness like a moth eaten sweater. Fold it up in the morning and put it in a box. Throw it away.

Pisces: Stop being selfish and cruel. Put the bourbon away, put your phone away for the night. Sleep by yourself and see what you dream of. People are not trying to ruin you like you are them. Forget revenge.

Aries: Let go. Do not cling to what you think is saving you. Do not drink tonight, do not tell them you love them again if you do not mean it. Be careful to not push away the people who truly care for the one who doesn’t.

Taurus: It is time to stop caving in on yourself. Reach out to someone, stop to smell the flowers. Find beauty in this world again.

Gemini: You’re almost done hurting. I know your mother told you the storm never lasts forever and you doubted her. Let the rain leave you now. It is okay to not define yourself by your sadness.

Cancer: Let the things and people you are bitter about leave you. Do not let memories haunt you any longer. Wash them off in the river while it’s still warm. Baptize yourself.

nothingsreallychanged
myemotionschangewiththemooncycles
eventhoug­htheydontstrayfarfromnnegative
anewbitteremotionsurprisesme
withe­achsuddenmoodswing
thingsjustseemtogetworseandworse
ivestuckmysel­finaperpetuallyneverendingloop
ofnothingbutselfdestruction
things­arentgettingbetter
andivecometotermswithit
sotillitends
illjustsi­tbackandexpecttheworse

10 | 31 Poems for August

What’s a painter left to do when his muse is missing?
The paint doesn’t stick to the canvas like it’s supposed to.
Today he was cut deep by all the harsh words she said.
He never understood all the ludicrous games she played.
So far gone, she left with the forest that’s why he’s barely breathing.
He wanted to see her happy but couldn’t bear the thought of her leaving.
It didn’t matter how he felt, she was bound to leave anyway.
It didn’t matter what he did, she was bound to leave on any day.
What’s a painter left to do when his muse is missing?
The paint doesn’t stick to the canvas like it usually does.
Maybe they were never meant to say goodbye.
Maybe if she didn’t leave, they’d still give love another try.
He never knew how toxic she was until he got to breathe in fresh air.
He never thought such heartbreak was something that could occur to him.
The grass is greener on his side but today it needed a trim.
The world is his canvas and she will always be his muse.

The smoke and vapor permeates
through the room
Before it dissipates
into the air and out the window

from a thick fog
to a gossamer

to nothing

I was fine with the atmosphere
You said you were choking
That I was smothering you
Which didn't help my cigarette addiction
I kept falling for you harder
I mean smoking harder

So you turned on the fan
and you opened the window
Like you forgot I got addicted
by smoking with you
When you were in love as much as I was.

Speak to me,
In your loudest voices,
Speak to me,
In your wisest words

To be understood,
Is to elucidate,
To impart,
Is to communicate

Be a linguist,
Use your tongues,
Spill your thoughts,
Speak.

Always dusk

Quilts like capes and

saying sweet goodbye - cheek kisses to summer,

August draws into September,

where seams don’t matter and everything changes colour.

We suddenly stop running and sit,

our youngness ages like the leaves

and our quilts gather dust