Step right in
great to see you
it's been so long
sorry I haven't cleaned up
since you left
how have you been
I've been thinking about you
let me make some coffee
you must promise
you'll never leave me again
dear morning.

i'm not sure what to do with all the distance
it's been months that have felt like years
i can remember when you came into my life in the winter
and I can remember when you left in the summer
arrival and departure
the distinct difference between the two
i'm only at the thin line of division
the way my emotions don't add up
like miscalculated algebra
all to your advantage
i kept your love letter
the letter where you plagiarized a novel
because i wasn't good enough for your own words
that was my only closure
i wanted desperately to burn the stuffed bears from the carnival
i could only part with one
when i hold it close to me
i feel like how a child would
expecting prizes only in fabric and cotton stuffing
not words of affirmation or love
i almost drove by your house
but i knew i would only go mad thinking
of who has been touching your new furniture that i helped pick out
leaving their fingerprints in place of mine
i miss my t-shirts that you still have
i hope when and if you wear them
you can feel me close
my heart beating where yours is
sometimes i feel like i miss you enough for you to show up
as if my pain could teleport
the craving of a complete closure
one where i don't need liquor or a lighter
others bring up your name
as if i'm not in the process of misplacing the letters
or dismissing the syllables
i've been trying to forget your face
your face of sharp bones
flaring nostrils
and nostalgic lips

i've been trying to imagine if that night would have never happened
when that veteran couldn't take himself anymore
he chose you to be his last interaction
it was all in hints
he was screaming for help without making a sound
how were we supposed to know
i still wonder where that blue jay is that he buried behind the building
i just couldn't bare to see it
now i wish i made a map
X marks the spot where our love died
i remember when you had to bury your own blue jay
you never saw it coming
you took the wrong step and it was under your foot
just like he said his bluejay was
fidgeting and fighting for life
i'd like to think it was a sign from him
to let you know it's possible to move on and forward
so you did
you moved on to scabbed skin and worn-out lungs
i moved on to scholarly headaches and false pretenses
back then i could never fathom my days without you
now i find it difficult to recall how we were
it feels like our romance was a dream
because it only felt real when i was asleep

I see them come
I see them go
Hope fails,
and it fails again, so?

What else to do
but to feel content
with every arrival
there's goodness to attend
to an end

An end
that surely leaves you
utterly lonely, maybe sad
and a bit changed too

Probably scary
that's usually how it goes
these things were never simple
you carry a bunch of "if so's"

Just go
just be you
they'll see
everyone did see you
one day they might know who

I waited for you.
For years now
I've been waiting
Putting love aside
In case you arrived
Today, though,
Was the last time
I got to wait around.

You lost your health
Your liver, your life
You chose crystal
Over me, over you
Over everything
You ran out of time
Life couldn't wait.

Rises
A great ghost!
As my grandpa
Called it!
The broken ghost
Like the
Dullness
Of black pottery
Are it's weights!
O there the puffs
Of mighty
Nature blow
O I wonder
What is next!
I feel flowing
With the wind
In a moment
Drops pour
Torrentially
Till they satiate me
O it takes
Just a few moments!
O it arrives!
This is my
Kalbaisakhi

Me encontré en un amplio blanco
Esquinas inalcanzables
Ropa sucia, pies dezcalsos
Vuela con las aves
Sin volver, velo del descanso

Las paredes que aprisionan
Al culpable desauciado
Humilladas sean por una persona
Que al quebrarte en llanto
Allí te deja, abarrotado.

Regresando a la idea
Que para aquel condenado
Algún día cesará la pena
Mientras que aquí abajo
Nada parece quitar éstas cadenas

Inesperadamente sale a escena

Se aparece sonriente
Dos focos que incandilan
Compasiva y paciente
Ansiado regreso a mi vida
Cascada en fuente
A chorros derrocho alegría
Acompañado descanso tiernamente
"Oh dios-suplico-hasta el último día"

I'm still freezing
at that time the sea aroma stopped by my nose
my eyes look as far as I can
a soft whisper of the wind touched my ears
greeted my first arrival
I smile at the waves that hit the rocks
while the waves crashing my feet
warm greetings from me
for those who are not just silent
my eyes closed
I say my magic spell
hope to be back again