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Erin Suurkoivu Oct 2020
Tin man, on the eve of tin,
your apology rings hollow.

I think that you
were only trying to

crack a window,
find a space to crawl back in,

attempt to
erase me some more.

Meanwhile, the police
are off investigating

crimes that happen in
real time. They like

to catch their perps
red-handed. Even with you

cast in the limelight,
confirming that what you did

to me was real,
it was my own nightmare.

I know, we fall into
that grey area.

In a garden of blooms
you walk freely,

inhaling and dreaming
of touching

those yet untouched
pink and yellow buds.
Sarah Flynn Oct 2020
he said, “stop apologizing.”

it’s a bad habit of mine.
I apologize even when
I know I’m not at fault.

he said, “stop apologizing.”

I didn’t even realize I was.
it’s an automatic response that
I’ve been programmed to use.

he said, “stop apologizing.”

I tried to notice when it happened,
but it’s not an easy habit
to unlearn after years of training.

he said, “seriously, stop apologizing.”
I said “I’m sorry.”
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2020
You brought me flowers
Was honestly surprised
Certainly were beautiful
Betrayal cleverly disguised

I awoke without you there
Note explaining where you went
When you came home with a big bouquet
Knew exactly what that meant

That in the hours you were away
Had done something I’d disapprove
Suspicions were confirmed by that gesture
I had no way to prove

Sifted through your phone of course
You’re good at covering tracks
Had plans to meet up with some girl
Was told to chill and relax

That you did not actually follow through
Stopped to drop off some dope
Her and a couple of other people
Reason for me to mope

It was other errands you ran
Took so long
You swear
Don’t know if you expect me to believe
Or you just don’t care

You thought you were sneaky and smart
Bringing somebody along
Because if you had a chaperone
Could you have done anything wrong?

Which would have worked eons ago
I’m catching on to your tricks
Hard as I try to tear down your walls
You’re faster stacking bricks

I ask from you the truth
Though i give more in return
By now should be used to the sadness
My stupid heart refuses to learn

I keep asking what’s wanted from me
Thinking I’m not worthy of a reply
Maybe you don’t know the answer
Either way I am left asking why

Why can’t you stop slipping away?
Out of hands and into the air
All we’ve been through
Ups and downs
Now do you not want me there?

I am hoping this is just a phase
Patient I force myself to be
You get it out of your system
Like you when waiting for me

I have made poor choices in the past
Forgive me but can’t forget
Tried to move forward and start over
I can tell it still makes you upset

I suspect that is justification
Smashing my heart to pieces
I hate myself for all that I am
Your attraction decreases

I do not know when feelings shifted
It’s clear yours aren’t the same
Maybe til now you were pretending
Whole relationship simply a game

My head beyond damaged
Stories that don’t make sense
I am going crazy
Issues seem so immense

I am easily manipulated
By your hand
Into different shapes
I can no longer stand

You are my biggest weakness
Temptation I can’t resist
I can’t have you for my own
Should I even exist?

I should thank you for your presence
You come home to me each night
As you spend days with other women
I fear you can’t stand my sight

I wish I could trust like before
You won’t give deceit a rest
See through your veil of loyalty
Know better than protest

I wonder
Did you get her a present?
If the floral arrangement was just for me
May not be fair to hate her
Probably shares my agony

Except has the worse half of the deal
I get most of your heart
Rest is scattered in pieces
Others have a tiny part

They should have common decency
Respect the commitment we share
Since it clearly doesn’t matter to you
Why would they bother to ******* care?

I am aware I am a lucky girl
Call you my best friend
If you no longer picture a future together
Don’t prolong the end

I do not know how to change this
To make you happy once more
Hold the flood of tears inside
The second you walk out the door

Then waterfalls gush out of eyes
Rivers of snot flow from nose
Have no interest in hearing my sorrows
I won’t burden you with my woes

I try maintaining composure
You are near
Should be able to sense my emotions
Not as stable as they appear

But you are constantly distracted
Consistently divided
I pour my all into a relationship
Grows more and more one-sided

Even if you stop buying presents
Come back to the house less and less
I will remain devoted and true
Never fixing this mess

Roses the closest I will get
Any sort of apology
Someday you won’t buy me flowers
You’ll only need to be with me
Why is it the only time you act romantic is when you ****  me off???
I'm sorry for what I am
I'm sorry for not being good enough
I try as hard as I can to change
There's some things that I wish would go away
There are parts of me that I wish would just die
I'm sorry for being resentful
I'm sorry for being full of Hate
I try to leave my past behind me, but every time I turn away, it's staring me in the face
I know I can be better
That I can be more
I can see a new me at the end of the tunnel, but my demons hold me in place
I'm sorry for pushing you away
I'm sorry for driving you insane
I may not have much to really live for, but what I have is surely more than enough
I'm sorry for all the wrong I do
Can you forgive me? I love you.
kier Sep 2020
"sorry, always sorry. what are you sorry for?"

"anything,
everything...
within my grasp
even outside of it
if I didn't say sorry
I would fall apart
like a flower
when pulled all the wrong ways"
Claudius Sep 2020
I used you
I used you so long that I broke you
I tried to forget about the pain in my chest
I tried to numb myself by chasing your love that was never meant for me
I know you might not forgive me
But-
I'm sorry.
I truly never thought about it this way until I healed myself.
Yohan Aug 2020
I'm sorry for not having your back
for not giving you the time and effort
for not being the one you'll be happy with

I'm sorry for being too conscious
for keeping myself away from all trouble
for being the 'spectator' in this chapter

I'm sorry for not being much of a help
for being lazy all the time
for procratinating even on rough works

I'm sorry I haven't got the energy
for all the things life may throw at me
for every flag I forget to tie up

I'm sorry I've been too much of a bother
for letting myself run around temptations
for having the giddy personality

I'm sorry I haven't been smiling much
for I'm totally lost in this space
for the wave takes me to an ethereal place

I'm sorry I only wanted appreciation
for I'm a thick-headed fool
for this time I'll be wanted

I'm sorry...please keep me hanging...
from the ledge of eternity...
UA Slam Aug 2020
I have avoided worse things from the dodgiest of sources
Candy-Cane *******, black-eyed beer bottles,
a blunt to the face, and every boy on second street,
You see, you cannot split me down the middle
I have been glued back at my creases
Not mended by abstaining from Gin & Rummy
But considering the freedom these indulgences might bring to me
What if **** and other natural sedatives were saints
The candy-cane ******* was a holiday ordeal
What if the black-eyed beer bottles lacked purposes
And my sips could simultaneously save them and make me forget everything.
Lyn-Purcell Aug 2020

Integrity is a virtue that is a choice to learn and uphold,
Not something that we are born with


I shouldve posted this back in July but here we are...
This is something that has been weighing on my heart really...
I've honestly made strides to be a better person with better integrity in life.
I have made alot of mistakes in my life...
And there are times where I dont even feel worthy or deserving to be wordsmith. As much as I practice my craft, I always feel like I truly dont deserve the blessings I have when I think of past mistakes.
As I get older, it's really dawned on me the magnitude of my bad choices.
And I do want to work towards being a better individual.
I really fear the day where one of my bad choices will cost me all I love dearly, because now I truly understand and appreciative the writing craft as well as art in general. I've vowed to start again, I'm reading and relearning from the greats and more artists what it means to be an artist.
This one is for you, Cessna.
I made such an injustice towards you and no words can express my deepest sorrows. But know that I own up to my mistakes, my bad choice and i have learned from the very beginning again. I'm becoming more relentless in studying the written word.
I truly want to begin again...
I may not deserve such forgiveness but I wanted to make it know at least.
I'm truly sorry.
I'll keep working on myself and keep moving forward.
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