When my chest feels heavy, my heart surrounded by sorrow.
I wish to feel nothing, I don’t want to see tomorrow.
I search for the answer, wondering when this will end.
The question itself wonders, I choose death to be my lonely friend.

Now I am at my decision,  I recall every feeling.
Guilt covers my vision,  regret loses its meaning.
I don’t think I can come back, I don’t even try.
Who sees what this head has, when I was left alone to cry.

When you arrive at my ending, I will remain silent that day.
When you wonder what I was hiding, why I chose this pathway.
The mystery covers your mind, so does the heaviness of maybes.
I wish you to keep me in your good sight, that’s the last wish you can grant me.

Now I am not breathing, but I feel so relieved.
The sorrow is at its ending, I am stepping into my land of dreams.
It offers me numbness, what I was eagerly wanting.
I am immune to emotions ; finally, the heaviness has ended.

Friday, March 7, 2025
8:47 AM - part one done
exactly at 10:31...

Action taken while sitting still…

"spukhafte Fernwirkung"

working far ah hafte liability

liable(adj.)
mid-15c.,
"bound or obliged by law,"
from Old French lier, liier
"to bind, tie up, fasten, tether;
bind by obligation" (12c.),
from Latin ligare
"to bind, to tie"
(from PIE root *leig- "to tie, bind").
With -able.

Working ties.
A gnosis knot's holding thought.

Reliable religious gnosis complex,
where the path past now appears,

in all possible out from on,
thorough affirmative ready, set…

let go, leave be, fie leap to charge
across the gap elemental to shine
like the stars
using laws so simple Hydrogen obeys,
with out a thought,
transitioning
to Helium and everything

radiating waste reactions at us
while our swirling core shields us.

Thank order
for so high a call, seeing
as we seem to be the only, so far,
seeing
makers
of sense enhancers, hollering
across ever between us, hey hey

look this may catch this thought…

does it keep its worth, make it's point,
piercing action past final velocity

thunk.

However, If one has, umph to act,
and if this same one acts, unbound,
or unheld as having umph still tied
velocity wise as reflected radiance

in posed still state,
in waiting, still
precogitating

any thunks thunk.

Right. Done's Donne's bell, still today,

dinging for you.

Another smokes
Another one rolled
Another cries
Another one consoled
Another stands where
Another one was lain
Another’s bliss becomes
Another one’s pain

But if pain is just a part of it
Why is it all that remains?
Could it be Another
Is all it takes
To make One whole again?

Events happened they did their activities
From basketball to hiking to soccer
Via drinking to eating to *******
It was the same as any other job
Time to destress from the stressful job
Even if pushing their bodies to the limit
Hike a five hundred metre peak after shift
Or drink a dozen beers with ***** chasers
Takes the stress of the job away
What is your after work thing
To recover from all those calls

Everyone's been hurt.
Everyone's hurt someone.
Everyone's been angry.
Everyone's been scared.
Everyone's cried.
In that way, we have more in common
Than we'd like to admit sometimes.
But at the end of the day, none of that matters. What matters Is what happens after.

An angel
in a bridesmaid dress
gliding through clones
and butterscotch smoke
to throw my vacant soul a win
gifting me her lips in sin
spilling secrets to the night
our barstool island
aglow in the strobes
bodies swelling at the shore
sands turn glass
in waves of stereo
with velvet skin
embracing dark
tied her tongue
to mine
and laughed

After The Rain
I Sing Again
After The Rain
I Live Again

The Rain, The Rain, The Rain

The Flood of Tears
Have Disappeared
From The Tide
Of Constant Fears
Suddenly
Your Sunny Day
Will Stay
Will Stay

After The Rain
I Sing Again
After The Rain
I LOVE AGAIN

The Rain, The Rain, The Rain

(c)Debra Lea Ryan
02/01/2024