I thought I would text you
About the people who troubled you,
About the girl who called twice and texted
Just to gloat, made you feel rejected.
I thought I would text you
About how you are so much more
Than what they tell you or,
how they make you feel.
I thought I would text you
"You are so far above—
Your brilliance in surplus."
But I got lost.
In my own thoughts,
In my own insufficiency.
There was a violent pause.
I closed my eyes.
And
all I remember is—I got lost.
In my own calculations,
of how I fall short
In everything I try.
I don’t try enough.
I never stretch my hands
For the stars or the sun.
I gritted my teeth;
Like ice, I got frozen
.
I tried to list my reasons,
make a report—
But I felt smaller than an ant,
And I got lost.
I nail my feet to the ground,
Afraid to think of the sky.
I don’t know how much
Of my fear is truth,
How much
a lie.
I was thinking about trying to save you.
With my words and small things I could do
But then I got lost—
in how everyone
reaches higher heights,
While I just seem to be falling down.
Step by step
Thud, thud, thud.
Silence.
Thought abt trying to cheer up my sister but i got lost in my own feelings of insufficiency and self loathing
