Her hair became darker and her thoughts became wild
And her heart became heavy and her dreams became mild
Her lips became softer and her eyes became sorrowed
And her hands became beaten and her love became borrowed

I am inherently sad.
I have known true happiness,
full bliss only once and
I have spoilt it.
I did not recognise it for what it was,
I did not realise how it was changing me.
When happiness left...
I did not realise what I had lost.
There was no getting better in sight.
Months it took for me to see
that a piece of me had been torn away,
ripped and clawed at,
leaving a shredded wound behind.
Time is a healer... my ****.
Time is the water eroding the rock,
It is the cancer eating away at your organs.
Time didn't heal my wound,
It made it fester
and now gangrene has set in.
Time has taken away my hope,
that little part of me who took its first beating
when I was just a child.
Time brought my hope relentless abuse,
bruises and nasty breaks.
In place of hope now lays a darkness.
A graveyard of all that once made the sun shine brighter
an empty space where all my dreams go to die.

so this happened...
it has happened before
then i can stop
but it always comes back
back to the blade
the shiny blade
it calls my name
begs to feel my skin
as it slices
red bubbles up
and runs down my arm
funny i don't feel the pain
so it cuts again
and again
making thin red lines
so this happened....

Gray is all I see

The gray smoke
The gray clouds
The gray hairs
The gray eyes

I used to see all the colours
Before I was broken

She used me
And abused me
And made me loose colour
She made me blind
She made me cry

I hate her
She took my colours
She took my heart
She took my virginity

I didn't ask for any of this
I half want her find this and think for just a millisecond that this is about her
The ether half doesn't want her to know she got to me

I hate it
I hate her