I just invented condescending way
A spiraling - rendition -
In thoughts of give away - do jeopardise
Tight murmur - catchy breath
And warmth of words - neglectful
Icarus - has faced the fall
Demanding for the sun
To follow

"Do give me hope" -
Waves shudder - cries
Collateral is trust -
Uneven debt - to sea
Through lust for gods
To favour - self-aware kin
"I will eat lies"
And drowning frame of wings
Makes yet another prophet

Cast - the spirits' smelting
"Farce!" - for being captive
Dull is the spark to lit
Azure for blinded
"I close my eyes" - a torment
Is benign - "Betrayal!" -
With fools - to play
In helpless shade of sun
"Be a good match"
Spent to emblaze the star
"I bet he fades"

Dismissive is calm laughter
"It's in your head" -
World - empathetic
"You do like humanizing" - stalls
When reaches out a hand
For burned
And now is lit a candle
Coax thins the fumes
"Do feel accepted"

sometimes
i promise, it is only sometimes
i would like to be in pain
and not the kind
where it's tearing at your skin
or the steady thrum of a headache
no, i need it to be loud
and sharp
as if there were jagged edges
worming their way into me
through me
burrowing into my lungs
so i hesitate to take a breath
even though it is essential
for my survival
a pain so desperate, so consuming
that i contemplate
giving in
no, i should call it what it is
giving up

i want it to leave hollow graves
shallow graves
in my bones
where the blood will pool
mixing in with whatever
anguish and despair
i have collected
i have lived with
stored within me
because i never knew
where else to keep it
i could never find another
empty house
and my pages were leaking ink

and so giving in to that pain
those jagged edges
is the only possible release
i can think of
the only justification
for abandoning the acceptance
of the absurd
the only way i will feel
past the futility of
sunken days and soulless eyes

Перке-пута, Лук-пук и Диг-пик
Увлажняли друг другу язык,
Под увесистой тенью фиг
Аргонавты точили тупик.
Вот Медея, а вот Штрык-штрык,
Млеет киви над Дамой пик,
Рвет рогатку на части бык,
А-ну, нахуй в кроватку, Брик!

Yaroslav Kulikovsky.  Kiev, 2020 (c).
Part of the cycle: Poems on City Flesh and Power.

Contemporary madness -
Craving more - with no subtraction
    "In game?" - involve
    Participation - of the thought  
    Most mimic those who disconnected
    Most play as virgins - unaware
    Not daring to examine bearings
        Of social roles and biological demandings
        Of what is "Me" - not a direction - *****
        It teaches taking human role
        Humane is engineers laughter
        "It's sickening to see you choose an owe
        When you repeat same neural patterns"
        You peak plateau - a weary and indifferent
            Flaw - begs you to quit the brawl
            Unless you choose as part of the absurd
            A conscious action of self-talk
            With none of "I" from egoistic brothel
                At last to see the stupid joke
                With it they made a 'wear'
                Augustly awful is its fate
                So desperate to be the wearer

I opened a letter addressed to no one
And found a wet map of my own grin.
The postmark said “Somewhere Between”
And the ink ran like a guilty priest.

The ceiling hummed its usual sermon:
  “You are a question your mirror asks gently.”
I nodded, chewing on glass-handled scissors,
Waiting for the floor to finish deciding its shape.

A horse walked in, dressed as my therapist.
She whined,
  “Your trauma wears a wedding dress.”
I asked for a refund
  And received a gun filled with sleep.

Behind the curtain:
  Someone’s mother melting into a fax machine,
  My ex spelling “forgiveness” with her teeth,
  A child screaming “I’m your future, father!”
  While drawing on a body bag.

I stood there,
  Drenched in six contradictory versions of myself,
Clutching a plunger and a birth certificate.

Someone whispered,
  “Your voice is a privilege.”

And all my response to that was:
  “Shut up louder.”

If you have a coin
Call me by your name
I’ll steal it from you

Mr. Roger’s chasing stars,
I poked holes in the drapes,
Breaking the sun into shards,
Remaking Adam and Eve in different shapes,

Tyson used Saturn as a vinyl record,
I run tapes like Nile’s sidewalks,
Sound spits like a momma bird,
Bachs piano teeth eating rocks

An Astro colonoscopy,
Shakespeare creating geometry,
Dominos fall down the pit,
With an ace taped over its scream,

Aurelius slit his wrists,
Mars is a **** star,
Making me resist
Breaking aliens hearts

Louis Armstrong did the moon walk,
Fitting his glove,
He then talked,
It has been shoved


Oppenheimer implemented the bomb,
My heart stops,
Pushing the cancer,
******* atomic clocks