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raphæl Jul 2018
a wan moonlight wades
the pond of the cold tiled floor
beaming existence
I could look up yet choose a
reflection of its presence
raphæl Jul 2018
a sudden loud honk
of a car shook my senses
as I crossed the street
that's how it felt waking up
to the fact that something's gone
raphæl Jul 2018
their timelines brag "lives"
but a grin I learn to keep
in patterns I don't forget
today is a lot better
than when I tried my own end
J Sep 2017
I may have written;
A thousand flowery words.
All of them fell short,
Paltry, meager rendition;
Of such beauty that is you.
Words were never enough.
J Nov 2017
Fall came swift and true,
Ushered death to all things green.
But you did breathe life
to this desiccated heart;
Now blight-stricken, but alive.
Fall. I will catch you.
J Oct 2017
Loving in silence;
much like solace and despair
vying for power.
Misery and ecstasy;
clashing in between heartbeats.
Sunlight streaming in,
I see you unlock the door.
I run in my socks.
You open it before me...
Every time, it's happier.

I will write a book,
But I won't describe it well:
Your arms around me,
When I feel safest and loved,
Is the moment I wait for.

Unexpected poke
In my side where it tickles:
I shriek with a laugh.
How do you still surprise me
The same way every time?

Listening to you
As we sit and look outside:
Your voice on my ears
Is a song of silent peace,
Calling for me to just breathe.


I can run and jump,
I can sit through the traffic,
And I can bear it
When the crowds are surrounding.
You take the fears from my mind.

Life has new meaning,
And death is not haunting me.
The trees grew this spring
And my heart grew inside me,
Reaching without fear of loss.

When I look ahead,
I see a haze, maybe storms.
I might need a coat.
But the God of Heaven knows
And will prepare us for rain.


So as I sit here
Waiting for you to come home,
I know He sees us
And He holds our lives gently,
Using life to grow our faith.
6-2-17 ACS
Out the window there,
Beneath the glassy, blue sky,
The white sun bleaches
Everything beneath its rays.
I wither inside.
I die if I venture out.
And yet, my heart yearns,
My soul burns, to see the world.
Mountains, rivers, seas;
Indeed, just to see a tree
I would leave it all.
I would risk the burning sun,
Drop it all and run,
If forests were there for me.
I would endure it,
Knowing that cool springs waited.
My heart climbs mountains
As I answer phone calls here;
My mind explores caves
As I file cash receipts.
I watch mountain lakes
Turn gold with the dying sun
As I read emails.
But some day, I will reach out
And instead of desk,
I will grab my mountain gear;
Some day, my fingers
Will callous and toughen up:
Instead of keyboard,
I'll skip rocks across a creek.
I will do it all,
See all I've wanted to see,
And feel the cool breeze
After climbing the mountains
And fording rivers.
I'll get out of this desk chair
And go explore what's out there.
I'll be strong for you.
Usually I'm the anxious one,
Scared in crowds and streets.
But your pain is crippling you;
And I know I can be strong.
I know things happen,
And bad things to good people;
I wonder sometimes,
Why to him? Why in this way?
And why now? Tell me.
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