I sat at the window watching the kids across the street do cartwheels in their yard.
They shrieked and galloped and flitted about the green green green grass
Enjoying all the seconds of this first summer-feeling day.
And I sat at the window
drinking ginger ale for my hangover.
And in the distance I heard the bagpipes.
The old old old lady who lives next door died yesterday so they must be her bagpipes.
They filled the air with something that I had never felt before on this familiar block with its dead end, mowed lawns, and oak trees.
I feel nothing about the old old old lady but guilt for feeling nothing.
A boy I went to high school with died yesterday. He was knocked out in a fight and went into a coma.
He was 22.
I hope he had bagpipes.

Darling
I'm flailing against rip tides
But really just laying in my bed thinking
Please god help me pay my taxes
I'm on the cusp of something great I can feel it
Please god.
It’s the small-humongous things that are so ****** tricky to master.
Like finances and security and happiness and self respect
And you. (*you) you have to be complicated too?
You can't just be there to want me when I need you?
Take my hand, kiss it softly, walk me across busy streets?
And here I am wondering if life ever feels less lonesome
More controlled.
Eh.
How * brilliant you think you are sheep**.
Draw the shades, crawl under the covers. Fully clothed. Thinking Why?
Because I can make you who I want you to be
My own personal HeyZeus walking cross water
To dryland a warmmeal a softbed

You told me I was invisible the other day.
Do you remember that?
You told me there was something wrong with me that everyone was concerned about me that I am the reason I am alone because I push everyone away.
You told me that on my birthday.

"Women"
lent to me by my friend Dustin because I confessed I kept
"Burning in Water Drowning in Flame"
on my bedside table because I like flaws for sleeves.


The pock-marked face that was a mask for the lily within,
Does one see flaws they are unaware of in themselves?


what makes a person
re-read the stars in search of something else?


He wrote the most important thing was bravery.
He wrote "the only time a man needs a lot of women is when none of them are any good. A man can lose his identity ******* around too much."
He said she was too good for him


Because she liked flaws for sleeves.

In 2009, The american disaster film "2012" was released.
Preparing for "The End of The World" was easy.

A piece of cardboard at a Red Light.


"2012 The End Is Nigh, What's a dollar?"


We might as well have smiled, given a friendly wave,
honked our horns like we were passing the Freeport Flag Ladies.


In 2012, I was in high school with my first job.

I didn't care that In the twinkling of an eye,

we were gonna hear God's last trumpet.

On Rapture-Eve, I set out "Milk N' Cookies" for the "Left-behind"

I left next mornings outfit on the side of the road as if Angels abducted me ****-*** naked mid-stride

Turns out, the red light never turned green.

The "left-behind" kept breeding

and Hell on earth just kept recruiting

Now it's 2020,

The Freeport Flag Ladies are in Quarantine,

the signs have needles in our eyelids like mechanical spiders,

You can't even turn the news off now,

I pick it up at CVS Like a Controlled substance prescription.

They make you call in once a month to get it refilled.

Some how my amazing wife Amy and I

Not only survived the rapture,
we brought a brand new life into it.

For 10 days we were locked in a hospital

We never looked at the news.

The world melted away as we danced together

Waiting to meet our little miracle.

After Amy was whisked away for intensive surgery
and survived the most unspeakably amazing thing in the world
a nurse eventually grabbed me and asked if I wanted to meet my daughter,
I was guided to a baby table

with knobs, meters, heat lamps,

and on a tiny cushion

in a tiny plastic crib,

My daughter.


Sophia Naomi Mae Coulombe.


wide eyed

staring into my pupils

wiggling

perfect

Now we are home.

No nurses, no IV.

Somehow it feels like the end of the world and all it's chaos
was the best thing that has ever happened to us.

Everything happened exactly when it needed too.


We couldn't have had better timing

if God planned it.

The memories of someone
The reminiscence of mine
Panda,  jokes, false love
Childishness and maturity
You are so smart
I am so dumb
Some people said
2012 was supposed to end
End our lives
Yet here I am still reminiscing

I once knew this boy
who would walk miles and miles
just to understand
the reason she'd smile.

She thought long and hard
about being his girl,
but decided that he
just wasn't made for her world.

A seemingly ancient photograph
Capturing a perfect moment in time
Eternalising our friendship
Sealing us in our prime

A photo taken in the spur of the moment
As an attempt to follow a new "selfie" trend
Within the seats of a worn down minivan
We all sat and laughed as friends

At the young ages of 11 and 12
Still quite young and naive
We drove around the endless fields
Laughing and singing as we were free

We called ourselves The Gang
Though we rarely did anything wrong
The six of us were so close back then
It was the only time I felt like I belonged  

Stopping the car behind the willow tree
With its branches drooping low
Rays of sunlight shining down
But at that time we didn't quite know

Let's take a picture

A black iPod touch
Was the thing to capture this moment
we all posed with the peace sign
In time we are forever frozen

This picture that at the moment meant nothing
It was all just meaningless fun
But now we see that during that time
It was the last day that we were together as one

Our lives have all gone different ways
In complete opposite directions
We haven't seen each other in years
We no longer hold that same connection

The photograph sits within my room
My most treasured possession I own
etched into the bottom of the frame
The words that we once promised

We'll meet again someday

Take a look and see,
At a house is where you be,
All around you there are trees
And the pollen makes you sneeze.

The grass is green and bright,
And from the sun comes a soft light.
A warm breeze blows, too gentle for a kite,
The fresh morning dew shines; such a beautiful sight.

There's a swing on the porch where two would sit together,
It seems the swing is one thing to out last forever.
Now it rocks back and forth from the breeze
Swaying in sync along with the trees.

Over the horizon shines the rising sun
Allowing shadows to dance on the porch, having fun.
The silence is deafening, leaving the squirrels dumb.
Not even the birds and the bees will hum.

I guess that's how the memory works
Slightly foggy with all of its quirks
Yet the silence in a memory is quite a perk
For it adds to the beauty so you can't help but smirk.

Use your eyes and see now a beach
So serene it feels quite out of reach.
The sand is so golden and so bright
You can't help but squint when it'***** by light.

So soft is the sand between our toes
The warm sunlight makes our faces glow.
Quietly the waves brush against the shore
It seems after every wave our hearts beat more

Here comes the ocean breeze blowing through your hair
—Your beauty is amazing— breathe in that salty air.
With your hand in mine we walk a straight line
Our footprints wash away if you just look behind.

As we watch the silent seagulls fly away,
So goes the same with the rest of the day.
So quiet, it seemed not a word had been spoken.
Yet we needed not speak with our minds so open.

I guess that's how the memory works
Slightly foggy with all of its quirks
Yet the silence in a memory is quite a perk
For it adds to the beauty so you can't help but smirk.

The reflection came too late
and now
I must wait,
for the mirror is
fogged.

Dogged by the memory
of the years
that passed by me,

I see shadows,
halo's of lights.

I fight my way up
no use staying here
not when the new year
is on the horizon..

It's funny.

I always trust being
on the cusp.