God needs no defending
God is love
God is good
What is good is evident
It feels good

God needs no defending
God loves in spite of evil
God chooses us even if we don't choose God
To light The Christ in all of us

To destroy in God's name is defiling
God can love even through this misguided attempt
God needs no defending
All is done through love
For every emotion stems from it
or the lack of it

We are not separate from God
We are collectively God
We can only turn away from ourselves
Placing our faith and trust in man
and the here and now
and you zombies don't know what it means
and you keep on keeping on
believing a fake reality
As if nothing else exists
while discounting the truth in your soul
In the aether, in your heart,
God needs no defending
To do so is to believe that we are greater than the collective
That God is weak
God is enlightened consciousness
Only the blind Christ maims in its own honor
God needs no defending
God only requires choice
The choice to love inspite of evil
To choose us even if we don't choose God
To reveal the Christdom in all of us
God requires no defending
Only choice.

In truth

Eyes brought me to knees
Only God shows what God sees;
Heart closes, eyes opened


Hope

Hands wrung tight on hope
Truth landslides down the mountain;
Loose hands never hold

Resist

Dissolved in your sights.
Puddle of inconsequence;
Easily taken

Mismatched

Found, lost in your eyes;
The universe tilted left.
Now, nothing is right.

captured in your eyes
a searing instant
a thousand millennia and more
converging in that one acceptance
No where to go
acknowledgment of who we are
the sound that crackles through the silence,
surging through our skins
dancing promises of ages
patience, patience wait
love is waiting
in the universe of your eyes
unfailing warmth
deeper colors of pain and joy than ever felt
home in a glance
love in the flicker of eternity
woven though the aether of our souls
the fabric of love,
loose woven quintessence
soul songs meet their harmonies
by an unseen moon
on the corner of forever and never Stream
vivid consciousness resigned to knowing the unknowable
there is no escape
captured in your eyes
there is only time that refuses to go
as it never passes
without the cruelty of spending aeons hostage
In a searing instant
never leaving the constraints of now.

unmotherly love envelops you in all your childish ways
snickers and jealousy
emotional vampira
vacuous hole holding love at ransom
unmotherly mother
narcissim reigns over your sadistic ire
never satisfied
manipulation and cunning
pander them to exact perfect cuts of pain from me
but this is the last heart bleed
this the last compassionate faulter
I am no longer your prisoner
my babes are safe in bough of my loving arms
a million miles away from your strategic abandonment of me
your Radom spates of visitational cruelties
it spread a generation too far
you went too far
It will no longer reign
My humility is gone I am the best version of every dream you ever had
and I did it on my own
despite the cruelty of your cold
a lesson must be learned
now I'll show you a mother with a fierce love
the mother you choose not to be
a lioness crouched over her cubs guarded by claws
though capable as my other siblings seem to attest
you only have interests for their best
no more last
no more future
no more past
you don't hurt me anymore
my progeny will rise to all they aspire
challenged and sheltered  
all equally loved
a child can not be her own mother's mother
you are nothing I need, now nothing I want
my only regret is, that I didn't leave your black hole sooner.

Kisses sent to the moon and beyond
blown with a breath on a heartbeat
Why do the stars drift so far?
why do you hide amongst them so well?
To you, wherever you are,
sitting atop my lucky star
the one with the Halo burning bright
can you feel my love tonight?
Do you hear my deepest wish
jump a little star or two closer,
If only just a while, to close the distance between you and I
to capure some small pulse of your resonance
So that I might respire,
In the absence of your burning touch and heavenly fires
That set alight the ache, of long held desires
a kiss on the breath of a heart beat,
hunts the space of time
for a flicker in the hopes
in some small way,
I still matter...

Kisses to the moon and beyond
blown with a breath on a heartbeat
Why do the stars drift so far?

I gave you the last word
the last iota to carefully balance your position on
I left the gaping disparity unaddressed
I smiled pleasantly in the face of your lying pathology
I let your opinion of me ring out unchallenged
I walked out like a lady in high heels and a devil-may-care dress
a warm smile to ease your frozen heart
you creaked for an instant
but true to form,
you certainly ****** that up didn't you?

I kissed the wings on the heels of love's brokenness
I drew the breath that carried the words that lanced love's boldness
I drew the sword that sliced the veil of hope
I pelted icicles of cold affront that built a towering wall of division

I thought I knew  the desires of my mind and flesh
deeper still, is the wound I carry
inflicted by my own weapons of righteous rebellion

thinking I knew better.
When I didnt know anything at all

I don't want to know their name
I don't want to know who they are
I don't care if they make you feel
they aren't me.

Not me,
who's cradling your head in my hands
or wrapped around you thigh deep
or gently coupled by the lips
slung over your bed sheets
resting over your heartbeat
tracing the lines of your love
tipping your chin,
looking deep into your soul
and you meeting me there.

It was too real to ever let go
but you did
please don't explain
I don't want to know

Folder:  The Art of Breaking
Feathers  of thought floating down to the gravity of reality
Finite ends drawn out so delicately, slowly and wholly.
Something so light, weighted so heavily
Beauty wrapped in barbs of wire and ire
Pained senses and armed defenses
You were so innocent then
Before the burning fire of desire
When life came at a pace,
Bursting with color in all directions!
when every which way led to adventure;
a life dancing among the clouds.
touching the sky,
tipping the stars,
huddled safely in the moon's sling
Before the crack of truth rang out the liar you still admire .

wrap your thorns warm,
and tightly packed
The time has long passed for love to fade away
fall, drift, settle into oblivion...



First draft:
feathers  of thought floating down to the gravity of reality
finite ends drawn out so delicately, slowly and wholly.
something so light weighted so heavily with pained senses, armed defenses
beauty wrapped in barbs of wire and ire
You were so innocent then Before the burning fire of desire
when life came at a pace bursting with color in all directions
When every way led to adventure
a life dancing among the clouds
touching the sky, tipping the stars
huddled safely in the moon's sling
Before the crack of truth rang out the liar you still admire
wrap your thorns warm and tightly packed
The time has long passed  for love to fall away
fall, drift, settle into oblivion

Your ethereal essence wraps around my senses as I'm drawn to your atmosphere

buring like a Phoenix washed in a new hope
a flash across the bowels of space and time

the call reaches deep into my soul as it rises from the pits of despair and disconnect
oh how I've missed you, aching chasm of yearning hovering over our used to be

your eyes lit like a new day dawning
you have once again remembered me
Love has resurrected

And i slow suspended in your orbit
afraid to venture  any closer
the last millimeter
always spans an infinite chasm
a fiery fanned Dragon floating in limbo
poised,
i wait desperately for your signal
Hovering precariously over your frequency

She moves with such fluidity in your atmosphere draping herself like sheer satin, elegantly etherial...
I feel like cotton underpants
My mouth heavy with words that refuse to reach for air and tie my tongue down and crowd around my throat
My foot steps are heavier, earthier,  than her tip toe grace
Elegant hands drape so adorningly over your shoulders
Her eyes dance with depth
her lips sing with spirited conversation
Mine a steady and constant gaze deep and unyielding
with lips given to sullenness,
And still you gravitate towards me as if she didn't exist

Such a pure longing for our chemistry intertwined
how the effervescence gives way to such a rich full bodied happiness
always fleeting with such consuming intensity
A profound impacting of souls suspended over us indefinately

such a slow fade to ok
such a long drop from joy
comfotably numb until the next moment serendipity plays with our vibrations
calling on fate to pacify her whims
such a beautifully cruel couplet
tortourously satisfying while constantly feeding the hunger
it happens with such imperfect frequency
i hum my song to your tune
youre almost gone now
getting comfortable again

I smile,
I'm just about to fade
and your song is on the radio
number 23

I don't know how, probably never will.
The capture of understanding eludes me
there is no definable logic or reason.

I wish I could capture all the molecules invading the senses and elements of mystery that constantly reshape themselves with the answer being you to the question of love.

For these fleeting seconds, I am fully completely adamant without doubt

For every fibre of my wishing different there seems to be an antidote ready to mute any plausible argument
You don't fit me well
You complement me perfectly
You don't see it my way
You see my endless potential
You wreak of disaster,
You smell so **** good
The argument goes on
Till i suspect the day I surrender
Twisted up in a messy kaleidoscope of love
As dark as it is light
But I am a shadow of thought
A beckoning dream
Contorting into a nightmare
Curious to capture
Hard to take hold
Designing your delusion
Bringing nothing but confusion

I suspect I never will succumb
Except for those few moments
How quickly and darkly they pass
I am happy here staving off
My affections for your disaffections
While you Completely disarm my ever rearming senses
I loathe you as much as I love you
I scramble all the pieces of you only to find them in my heart
For this second any way and after the next,
Perhaps,
perhaps,
perhaps?

The wind creeps up on me carrying the whisper of your voice
With welcome Warmth Your soul envelops me,
comforting.
You haven't forgotten me in this long breaking of our presence
I miss you too.
You know I won't come,
I'm too stubborn
I know what it means
Though I think of you endlessly
I wish on every star I see it could be different
But time is the ultimate master of its journey
It won't go backwards,
No matter how desperately pleaded
Time has no conscience
And serendipity is a joker
Poking fun while living through disaster
Seducing with flashes of false hope
Oh but love is a greater power
It out lasts and out shines all these trials of destiny
This life is half led
Shhh, I whisper,
Not this life,
The next
I will come for you
With a fanfare of all the colours of love
I feel you gently let go
But know you'll come again
Just as you know
I'll be waiting

Struggling to  stay above the meniscus
Stagnant waters breed contempt
No push, no pull, just demands
Oily film clings in colourful swirls mocking as it suffocates
Each breath cut a micron smallker
A slow agonising drawl off a rabid dogs tooth
Stuck in an endless moment
Confined to a predestined conclusion
All forgone
I've given up on the illusion
Come what may
Its not the wait that kills,
I died a while ago
This is something else entirely  
Futile frustration
Living ends soon enough
After life, however,
is another matter.

Eyes searching desperately for answers I do not have
I cannot give,
Won't give.

The resonance of pain too much
Can't filter it,
Even endurance groans heavily at the need to press on

Illusions cast shadows all the time
You pick the ones you want,
Like,
Desperately need.

You believe them,
Questioning them gently,
till you fool yourself with plausible reasons.
You won't go to the core,
You're afraid of what lives there.

Taunting with its pretty whitewashed name
Nightmares parading as daydreams
Its the perfect master of deception
No one escapes it
It knows you so intricately,
Where every seed of doubt remains unwatered
twisting every nerve given to compulsion,
Deftly it hides you amongst the comfortable lies.

Applause,
Bravo,
A standing ovation
The illusuionst,
every slight of mind, sheer perfection!

What need is there of our pretty sunbleached truth
When you are your own masterful pretty little liar.

Now look what you've done,
Made your cake of clotted fears and twisted fruits
A recipe for disaster
Shhhh,
Mastermind of the tears of one.

Has a nice ring to it,
Don't you think?

Sunny, cool windy days
The kind of irony i can easily  live with
Rushing wind tiring to a meander,
before catching its breath off again
to find a new adventure!
My heart follows it,
My earthly body content to stand caressed by invisible fingertips.
The grass dances at my feet, covered by a brilliant blue sky
The dandilyons arch their stalks like  puppies for belly rubs.
The daisies nod readily to the gossipy whispers
Without thinking,
Eyes draw closed chin to the sun
I drink in deeply the  essence  of the stirring energy
Filums of air rushing through flared nostrils
reaching down prodding tired lungs open,
"not today" they whisper,
poking open apathetic  ventricles and lazy sacs
The welcome of life envelops me
A beat,
And I felt, since the longest time, alive.




Its was a moment-
Where I could  forget about you.

Nerves suspended on pins.
****** sizzling and crackling up my spine
Along my neck and dancing across shoulders,
Soft peaks strain against cruel frabric hardening to attention;
Warm sweet bulbs of delight flood with aching
sweet trickles of warmth seep out laying a bed of welcome
Thighs echo inviting sentiments laxing open
Hips slide up sensously,
The request resoundingly clear.
Passion's fever lit,
Fed and readied by the slow burn,

And you havent even touched me yet.

******* into the wind,
my mind racing,
rabbits of confusion scattering.
Some come back,
some lost forever.
I can't remember your name
I can remember your frequency.
Stop calling me
I can't break the code.
White noise...
standing on a grassy hill,
the wind carves patterns through the ground.
It whispers sweeter than you do
but, you feel like home
and I so want to go there...

Time spins circles of recurrences
I'm never sure if it's the past or present
The effect you have on me,
Cares nothing for time
It is immune
No defences to wear away
There were never any built
You seep into my consciousness
And surround me with your frequencies
The reverberation of your soul enlivens me
Your energy spellbinds me
Memory and fantasy merge
You words quaver through my senses
Your love keeps me warm
Wish you were never here

Sunlight on petals forming rainbows through dew drops?
Blushing pink lips and vanilla dreams?
The crevices and valleys of sensuous skin?
The fluttering anxious anxiety lifting your soul?
Or just the boring **** of it all
Looking for a crack to split open
so you can walk away and **** it all
Maybe then we'll have something gutral to write...

Kiss the truth away one  more time
Torn footnotes in the wind
Your swift hand  cutting goodbye through the air
The world is dark again
I trip over your your love so readily
Eyes cast over the night hoping for light
No stars dare shine
No flowers bloom in colour
The moon drags the day over
The same sarcastic drawl
Silver sliver smile irks me
I never learn,
Draw the bullet again
It's love.
What the hell did you expect?

Inspiration has run dry
the day closes gray
The morning a darker shade
questions hang above unanswered
The night sky lost its glitter
fruit of the spirit turned bitter
Lines drift into oblivion
poetry is a ****

I find my self oscillating between chasms and  crevices in the distance between us
Luck never seems to be on my side
Slippage is a constant
Loose ground
Shaky legs
Crushed ice
Tight chest
breathless
No way out
Love's funny like that.

I've hurt you and I recognise it
As deep as the torn pieces of aorta I've choked on
How proud you stand defiant in your love of me
How you stich the pieces of my guilt into velvet pillows to lay my head upon
Soothing in your denial of fact
Forgiveness in your heart, pain your eyes
Doubt has settled there
The beat ticks time,
the colours of love bleed
My heart swells,  as yours drains
The words never come no matter how I start,
I wish I'd known
How much
Before i even let it start
Like the sorry caught on my lips
Despite the laboured floundering of my tongue
I cannot bring my self to say
The words I should have remembered
The day I fell from your heart
into your pillows
Never asking how or why
Death is more certain
Than the code written in your eyes
No clues to decipher
Only the way I see your pain

Sauntering stealthlike
Emotions raise hairs
Clawing through snow
The senses bark
Panic over pain
And pain over panic again
Scratching ice
Numb is the new state of calm
Blood on white
Shadow slips through light
She fell and lost her heart
There was no way back
The rest was uneasy Silence
Her red hood felt see though as glass
It was a long way home
She thought of him
In every shadow cast
In red drop trails
Panic over pain,
Pain over panic again

Movement and thoughts at the speed of light
The others can't hold on to the train
Not my fault
Built different
Explain it to
Blank stares
Bad decisions
irksome stupidity
Hold breath,
Protect the light
Shine on the inside
Breathe...
Dumb it down,
They don't understand
Mediocrity is fine for them
It's their holy grail
Don't be different
Don't push
Just hide
Stealth
And
defiance
I am who I am
And I do it my way
Because it works.
Gritted teeth
Wrapped in smiles
They don't know
A thing
About
Being
me.