I was not born brave
I grew into my ferocity
like a lion
growing into his roar.

I was not born in the cosmos; nor was I born in the fields
I was born behind a curtain
she cut it open, oh, she cut it open

I was foolish until I was not,
I was scared until I was not,
I was silent until I was not,
there is little that we have left.

I was not born a king; nor was I born a peasant
sunflowers bow to no one, lambs and lions rejoice
everyone has been here before; and here we are again

the ash falls, the fire crackles
we have all sinned in this life and others
blood stains red on all upturned palms
we hold hands.

the heart has many vessels,
the cathedral stood tall, unreachable
the bike was broken, the bike was there.

say all you feel has to be said
somewhere a flower is wilting
and someone is being born
think of everything, think of everyone

say all that comes to your mind
stars will continue to shine
the world will continue to turn
few things stay the same, few things change

the silence is unbearable
if only one was to remain
i'd wish it to be you
there is nothing left, the earth is reborn

the world is quiet now
grey-scale.
wishes are rarely granted,
please open your eyes.

I count the hours,
I count the days.
Since you left me.
How much I miss you,
I count the ways.

I miss your voice,
I miss your touch.
And I miss the face,
That I love so much.

You used to call me baby
Shortie, my world, my love
You used to tickle me and tease me
And say you loved me to the moon
And back.
Darling boy,
You were so in love!

So why cant you just love me again?
Oh my darling boy
I’ve tried in vain
To forget your golden eyes
And smiling face
But that is impossible.
But you seemed to have
Forgotten me.

I so badly wish you loved me.
Once again.
I long to feel
Your warm embrace.
And to see a smile,
Upon your face.
Just one more time.

How to describe it,
There is no way.
The feeling
that is driven deep in my heart
I walk around,
In a permanent daze.

You were pure and sweet
Dangerous and troubled
All at the same beautiful time
You are truly perfect my darling boy.

I miss you so much my darling boy,
To the moon and back again.
And this feeling will go on,
Forever and ever, my darling boy.

it's 3 AM darling
i haven't slept a wink
or had a steady breath of air
i run outside in my favorite red rain boots
i laugh and giggle as i leap and bound
splashing in puddles and delighting in life
i slip off the covers, flick on the dim lights
it's the nightly routine,
open the dresser drawer, grab the razors
the sky is gray but
i am as bright as a sunflower
as i twirl around and around in the rain
i open the bathroom door
and slide down the wall
the world spinning, the walls collasping
i laugh and shout as my baby sister runs out
to join in on the fun and games
we run hand in hand down the wet street
i sob and sob until there's nothing left
but ragged gasps
trying to breathe, but i forget how
i laugh so hard i can't breathe
as she and i dance in the streetlight
as the rain falls down around us,
creating a halo around us of illuminated raindrops
i sink lower and lean my head back
the silver blade slashes against my skin
as shimmering tears dance in my eyes
the sky opens up
and the heavens shine down on us
the beautiful sunlight peeking shyly through
life is a wonderful thing, i think to myself
the blood trickles down
you're over, you're done
you're living,
but your not breathing or feeling,
you're so far past repair,
why bother to stay in this wretched world of despair
when you know you're dead, you're worthless,
what a fool i was to think life was good.

Ive loved you
For two years and three months.
For 27 months.
For 118 weeks and one day.
For 827 days.
For 19, 848 hours.
For 1,190,880 minutes.
For 71,452,800 seconds.
Ive loved you
Since January 1, 2012.
Since I met you at the skatepark.
Since the day I gave you all of me.
Since the day that you actually made me feel wanted.
Since the day we had our very first kiss.
Ive loved you
With every fiber of my being.
With every inch,
With every corner of my heart.
With every warm touch to my body.
With every tear drop from my eye.
You dont want me
Youve left such an impact on me.
Youve changed my thoughts on love.
Youve changed me.
You still have all of me
Every ounce of my heart.
Every fiber of my being.
Im cold
I dont have a sincere smile.
I dont have a warm touch.
I dont have you.
And it has broken all of me