sad and
suicidal thoughts
that you don't want to
know about
run through
my head,
like a train
that has no stop,
a train that drives
over and over
again
without stopping.

there is a pink drink,
in a tall glass
sitting on the bar in
front of her,
ready to be drunk.

she takes a sip,
and another one.

in the first seconds
everything was merely
a blur, drunken people dancing.
but within the next few minutes,
she was going to fall in an
unwanted dream, and he would
take her so she can be
just his.

she didn't see that
the man who she thought was
thoughtful and caring,
turned out to be the man
who killed her with
a strong pink alcohol.

at age five,
her bath is full of bubbles
and happiness.
yellow ducks floating
on the surface,
make her young soul
happy.

at age ten,
her bath is not
full of bubbles.
she does not take baths
anymore.
she showers now,
because it's faster,
and forgettable,
just like life should be.

at age fifteen,
her bath is not full of bubbles,
again.
but now, she sits in the tub,
only dull water surrounding
her body.
on the surface there
are no more yellow ducks,
they are now replaced by flowers,
which are ripped out from the hard ground along with the root,
*just like she was ripped
out from her silly dream,
along with her insane mind.