Things are supposed to get better with time
But I have just been missing you more and more

Im pathetically waiting for the
Person will probably never want me
To change their mind and want me again

Your name is a rope around my neck
That keeps getting tighter and tighter
I have been drunk for eleven days straight
Only switching up between ***** and laxatives

Maybe if I lose some weight, a few pounds
Maybe if I write you drunk poems every night
Maybe if I placed your hand up into my rib cage
Maybe you'd believe that my heart only beats for you

I need to wire my jaw shut
So you will stop tumbling out my mouth
Tumbling quick and hard and sudden
Much like rocks tumbling from a cliff
You are a cliff I want to throw myself from

I knew my hands would have scars
From clinging to you so tightly
I'm still clinging
I'm still getting scars

I hope you are thinking of me, especially now
Like the way I am thinking of crashing my car

Your body is a language I would like to be fluent in.

You left bruises on my wrists and I wore them like bracelets
The slurred and stuttered words
I'm sorry and Never again
Always spilled from your intoxicated mouth
But your sober attacks on me and wrecking ball-like-fists
Always spoke louder than your drunken words

All I want to do right now
Is toss myself onto the street
With my bottle of *****

I know for sure
the spinning of a tire
against my spine
would feel better

Than to keep thinking
of you losing the slight
infatuation you have for me
and you wanting
someone else.

I need to have more  faith
I smoke using pages of the Bible
I need you to hold me
Squeeze forgiveness from me

I am drinking so much
My blood smells like ***
I can't walk a straight line
Even if I am sleepwalking

Words break out of my ribcage
I try to un-write them

Suicide has been on my mind
I struggle every single morning
Not to crash my car

Routine heartbreak has left me so bitter and empty.
Too much of a coward to **** myself, I will continue
Wishing on a meteor to crash into me, leaving nothing
But a wisp of air and ash where I used to be.