I love him
And I hope he loves me too but
How can he
If he doesn't know me?

There is a fear that lies within
Seething, breathing and living
It is with me day and night
Watching me with it's every sight

It creeps up me at night
Making me think of life
"You can never succeed" it says
as it echoes in my head.

It is crawling and moving
Living and breathing
Sometimes it is my friend
Most of the time, it is not

It goes stronger by day
Consuming me with might
At times I just surrender
for that is the only thing I can muster

And I am dying everyday
Trying to fight of the demon
That lives inside of me
That lives around me

I'm sorry for being me
when you needed someone else.

What lies ahead
I do not know
But what I know
Is that I want to go

Away from the place
That I've come to hate
Away from the place
That fills me with pain

It was once called a home
Our humble and loving abode
It filled me with laughter and joy
Now it's nothing but an empty void

when the time comes
i can't be brave for you
in front of you
i turn into a loser
because of you
i lose sleep at night
i dream about you
and i **** awake
was it a nightmare?
was it a sweet dream?
with you i can't be sure
anymore
at the end
can i still smile for you
can i still hold your hand
without fear
at the start
i was sure
but now my courage is fleeting
this love
the intensity is daunting