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always anxious Sep 2014
this is another ****** up poem about a ****** up life
about a teen who's too ******* lazy to even make it rhime
she's constantly haunted by demons
she's not even sure she'll make it a year from now
her escape is poetry, and she's not even good at it
she should have just killed herself long ago
insted of turning this depressed
lonely
fat
invisible
different
scarred
anxious

and most of all unloved
maybe a few people like her but she hates herself
she's just another little girl afraid to grow up.
just another girl with a heartache
though this is different
she's not getting over it she's done permanent damage to her own body
and worst of all

*this girl is me
always anxious Sep 2014
why cant i even dream
desperate and so lonely
i've looked for you
i left behind all that i
have ever longed for
cold wins scream through my ears
like a banskee
a freezing chill
a pain, that still will haunt me

yet i have made it here
running through all the fear
the sadness in my heart retains the pain
and if i fall i've learnt that i may not return
none of my love remains
yet i have made it here
make this pain dissapear
my one and only prince charming

that's when i wonder...
**why cant i even dream?
  Sep 2014 always anxious
Alexis A
You say she's awful
That she doesn't care
You don't know
How easy we talk
And converse about my life
Her name is Ana,
She's no demon
She's my friend,
And she cares more about me
Than anyone ever will
She tells me the truth
No matter how much it hurts
People lie to me,
She refuses to stoop that low
She helps make me perfect
Beautiful
Happy
Smart
Lovable
Worth something
And so much more
If it wasn't for her
I'd still be
Lying in bed
Blabbing on the phone
Or spending all day with people
She taught me who they were
That people weren't what they seemed
That no-one really cared
No-one but her
I would rebel,
Thinking I could handle life
Without her help
I quickly came back
Realizing I was wrong
She took me back in,
And punished me
For ******* up
Saying it was for my own good
She tells me when I lack hope
And when I'm being a ***
What I need to do
To get the guy across the room
To look in my direction
And how to grab
Some masculine attention
To you,
She seems like a *****
But you don't know her like I do
She's really rather nice
So, I have a friend who thinks Ana is a *****, and I wrote this to her (and I will probably never show it to her) on why she isn't
always anxious Sep 2014
here we go again
sitting on my own
crying in the shower
same old sad tone

razor blade passion
calling my name
far in my thoughts
fasting my fat frame

all these words
rushing in my brain
i write them down on paper
to deal with my pain
always anxious Sep 2014
i just wanna say i miss you
but you can't talk to me
i'm such a big problem in your life
i wish i could just let you go
but i cant, i cant just not talk to someone
whom i love so ******* much!
but i've made so many problems
andi'm not even worth it
i should just let it be
like you did long ago...
always anxious Sep 2014
i can't stay here
i can't stay away
i'm split bewteen
what to say

i love you
but you don't love me back
so i'll go hide
in my hearts crack

don't say you miss me
cause i know you don't
don't say you need me
i know i'm not what you want
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