If I could fix the trust I broke
If I could fix the hearts I've shattered
If I could mend minds
I would
If it meant giving up a part of me,
I would
But I can't though I can try
Trying won't change the past
and sometimes it doesn't change anything at all
but my heart's still yours
If I could fix anything
I would
But I can't even fix myself
I can hardly hold myself together most of the time

Staring at my bedroom walls
plain white
I paint pictures
inside my mind
what could be,
what is,
what was,
what will never be

Words pour out of my ears,
as I turn another page
of a book I recently started reading

Mind is wandering,
here, there, everywhere
Places unknown

Ink smudges
as I run my hand over the words
of my soul
poured out onto a page
for none to see
but all to know

We live in a big world
and maybe we're all lost
Maybe just in the mind,
maybe we're not where we want to be
and maybe we never will
Always wondering
"What do I do,
What do I say?"
Seeking acceptance
when we don't need it from anyone
but inside us,
is one heart.
One heart that beats
to keeps us alive.
We're not here to please anyone.
We all make mistakes
lost in a mind that doesn't know
We're all lost in a big world
Someone, just someone,
I'm wishing you'd get lost with me
Hearts wander
mine's somewhere that isn't here,
and maybe,
if someone asked if I could go somewhere or to someone...
Maybe the only place you'd want to be
is with someone.
Maybe you're just lost,
alone,
in the world we don't know
Braving it with just your own two feet

We all want to be an inspiration for something
Mine's just to live.
I want to be able to say,
that I helped someone stay alive
instead of saying that I made them want to die...
When they fell,
gave up time and time again,
and didn't want to continue.
I want to be able to say I helped someone,
just one
People have made me want to save myself
I want to return the favor.

You know,
    I've been thinking
Maybe a little too much
but you realize
people don't care if you leave
people don't care if you disappear
people don't need you
you don't need anyone
You break your own heart sometimes
You make mistakes
and they all see
and they all leave
and when you're alone,
after you think,
you see.
Loneliness is a place
to recollect yourself
even somewhere you don't want to be
even if you don't want to
it's a slow trek,
a long and winding road.
You'll make it though.
Even if you don't think you will
and when you're left with no hope,
just keep going...
you'll find something.
eventually.

Waging my wars
in my mind, body, and soul
Shouldn't be this hard.
Emptiness..
What is this?
I'm probably not as fine as I seem
Cried myself sick,
need a distraction
that I can't find
Sometimes to stay alive you gotta **** your mind
Why is it always stormy days
that keep me company
Funny, because I love the rain
Usually a semblance of pain,
gloomy days.
But it's calming to me..
But the hurt won't go away,
It shouldn't even be around
I shouldn't be hurt
over these things
I shouldn't want to stay in bed all day
I shouldn't feel like a burden to everyone
I shouldn't feel this ****** up
I shouldn't think the way I do,
I take for granted a lot of things
Someone tell me..
does it get better?
do I stop wanting to give up?
Been this way for a while now,
thought I was getting better
and really, I was...
but now
I think I'm the worst I've ever been
and I'm craving something
anything
to drown out these thoughts
preferably scalding
to throw away the burning knife that isn't real
it's a figment of my mind
Broken fragments
that were almost whole

"We accept the love we think we deserve."
Which, my friend, is none.
We never think we deserve any love.
Maybe we'll mess up the love we get,
and pretend it doesn't hurt,
and we'll be happy for them
when they find someone that is not us
because then, they'll be happy,
and that's all we want.
We don't deserve love,
because we can't show it back,
because we can't handle it,
because we can't think to ourselves
that this is really happening,
You can't see for yourself.
You don't trust,
don't think it's anything real.
Maybe we're a "special" kind of breed,
something that needs fixed.

Putting people into the situation
that literally puts them in tears
just thinking about it
isn't going to help it
if it was,
I would be fine by now,
public speaking wouldn't phase me,
I could walk down hallways with my head up
I could make eye contact
I could walk into classrooms alone
I could hang out with the few friends I have
I could talk to people I know
I could pay for my own things without wanting
to stab myself in the throat afterwards,
I could do all these things that seem normal and casual
I could do all of this without crying
I could do all of this without a constricted throat,
and a heart that feels like it's tied down
to my feet
and don't you dare say
it's because I don't try
I've tried
and tried
and tried
Don't you dare say I'm faking it
because this is a personal hell

I can't stop crying
I've cried for days
and I'm not talking a few tears
I mean to the point my head hurts
and I want to rip my eyes out of my head
Music isn't helping
Chocolate isn't healing
Sleeping isn't comforting
Because you don't leave my dreams

I know it's my fault.
I deleted you today,
in a fit of rage,
honestly.
Finally admitted why I did what I did
Never thought it'd hurt all this much
Couldn't take seeing you today
I feel shattered
and broke again
even if it was only a few minutes
I can't stop shaking still
No matter how hard I try

I'm sorry for all these things
I'm sorry I made you feel the way I did,
just know that you aren't.
You were always the one who did.
You were the reason I got up most days.
I know I never told you that,
I never acted like that,
but I told you why.

I know you found something else
they're not going to hurt you.
They'll make you happy.
They're not me.
They'll be who you need.
They're not going to **** up like I do.
They'll be the ones worth it.

Just promise me
that you'll be happy
no matter how much I break,
I'll eventually be okay
Not soon, maybe, but I'll be someday....

Ever reread messages
and they break you the same way
over, and over again?
Just to hurt yourself?
Just so you know that you were never the only one?
That you were never good enough?
Do you just need reminders
though it eats you every day
Bites at your chest
Leaves a hole

Do you cry everyday,
for no reason at all
but your thoughts
and they way they break you down
Do you ever just leave yourself shattered
because you just don't feel good enough

Do you ever take offensive jokes seriously
because you've always heard them and be meant true

You can hate me for not saying I love you. You can hate me for not being able to express things the same way you do. You can hate me for the way I do things. You can call me a pathetic *****, a coward, worthless. Go ahead. I’ve probably heard it a thousand times and I started believing it a long time ago. Go ahead and insult me, my music, the way I talk, walk, breathe, live. Go right ahead and be my guest.

Go ahead and go to her, we all know she’s funnier, prettier, and she’s not a total ******* loser like me. That’s cool. It’s not the first time, everyone prefers her. Some people actually see who the better person is in all aspects - hint hint, it’s not me.

Go back to not thinking I exist. Forget my existence.

"Pathetic *****"
Words tend to stick in your mind
Whether it's someone you know
or someone you barely know
"*****"
"****"
Some things haunt me
stick like glue
sometimes they don't bother me,
but most times, they just stick in me like a knife
Invisible scars
Honestly shouldn't bother me
but it does
"I don't trust you"
I don't blame you
There's always been a part of me
that wants to say something,
defend myself
but I don't,
I never do,
I never say a thing,
Just keep quiet and walk away

It's crazy how soothing
something cold and metal can be
on burning hot palms
and a shaky mind
how much comfort just a necklace gives
it's sad
that this is how I calm

It's sad that when music hits my ears
It doesn't help me anymore...
It's still my escape,
but no longer my peace of mind
I don't think I have a peace of mind anymore,
I think I messed myself up

It's sad that I believe every word
that's said about me
It's sad I can't go out without a jacket often
nor can I walk with my eyes
not watching my feet
drag across linoleum
It's sad my self esteem is non-existent
It's sad that people want to die.
It's sad that sad exists

It's funny what you remember about people
Their favorite colors,
their favorite songs,
what made them smile,
what made them laugh
the sweet things they said
what they got passionate about,
what they talked about at two in the morning
when no one else listened

It's funny how you remember how their hair fell in their face
and how their hoodie always hung
and the way they shuffle their feet when they walk,
and puff out their cheeks slightly in stress
how they got *******
the way they talk
the way they could be a mess

It's funny that you remember things about people
that don't seem to matter
but you love them,
and miss them
It's sad that you remember people, really.
It's sad that you can't forget
and oh so easily move on
it's sad that a lot of times you don't even want to

How does it end up
in sadness
bruises
****-ups,
and tears,
and hatred from so many different ways?

How does it end up
the same endings
the same songs
the same numbness
the same sleepless nights
the same regrets

How does it end up
with two hearts torn
and one hated
and one with intense regrets
and no way to fix it
it shouldn't have happened at all

Scrolling absentmindedly
Eyes unfocused
mind not on what I'm seeing on the screen
pain in my chest,
a burning like hell in my throat
regret slowly slicing my soul
So much to say
not even worth it to say,
nothing even matters anymore,
what's the point?
I wish everyone would forget me
that I exist
Anything I've ever said,
done,
thought.
Because it's all ****** up.
It shouldn't have happened
I shouldn't have happened

God, do I wish I had a way to turn back time
get a rewind
replay all the memories,
change a lot of things.

Every time I hugged him,
I think of you.
I glance at where you sat,
without realizing,
and an overwhelming sense of sadness engulfed me

I wish I could change time,
I wish I wouldn't have done those things,
I wish I wouldn't have ignored you,
chose someone that's going to hurt me,
wish I still felt good enough for you,
wish I didn't think I deserved to be hurt,
and I'm sorry for all of these things,
and if I had one chance,
I'd redo it all.
From August to March.
I'd fix everything I've done.
I'd save you from the explosive one.

I regret everything
with all of my heart,
and all of my soul.

I keep thinking of you,
and your kisses,
your hugs,
and the words we shared,
I remember the fights,
I remember falling in love with you
I remember
I remember hurting you
I remember holding hands across my yard,
I remember the first time I went to your house
I remember when you started talking to me
I remember my ex girlfriend hating you..
I remember.
If I could change all of the hurt
all of the pain
all of the fights,
all of the regret,
I would,
in less than a heartbeat,
and if it killed me,
I wouldn't care.
If it wasn't hurting you.

I just wanna feel okay
One day
Without hating myself
regretting the things I do
A day without the thought
that I don't matter
I'm insignificant
Just one day
I'm so tired of being hurt
"needing therapy"
not wanting to get out of bed
so tired of people leaving
people assuming
tired of music not helping,
when it's the only thing that ever did,
so tired of no sleep,
dark eyes for days,
from the fight with my mind.
I'm so tired of being me,
and ruining everything I've ever loved,
ever needed,
I'm so tired of being the way I am,
and not changing.

I want us to be two people
Separate spirits, but together in form.
but all we do is fight,
argue,
I mess up all the time,
maybe it would be better if we weren't,
if we didn't have each other
so scared to lose
everyone has told me
you're no good  for me
and I'm no good for you,
any eye could see.
I have more to say,
not the words to say it with
nor the soul to let them out
I'm a mess that won't be cleaned
that keeps getting worse,
I'm a problem that has no answer,
I'm a nightmare that never ends
I don't see how you love me
I'm not sure why
For as hell has it's fire,
I am a **** up
I am indecisive
Confusing, annoying, hateful, worthless
I'm no more than dirt on the ground
Everyone else leaves, why won't you,
Anyone can see why you should
You know the best of anyone
You see why people leave
more than anyone.

Here we are
I knew it would end up like this
Feel like I'm drowning
yet again
always saved the moment before I do
it's always my fault
I hold my head under,
not wanting to come up
there's not an effort to be made
because there's no point to me,
everyone leaves anyway
I'm too much to handle,
not good enough
just a mess too big to clean up
don't know why you still try,
I would have given a long time ago
I **** you off,
make you mad,
upset you,
and I hate it
but it's not going to change

Some nights I really just break down
Standing on a broken bridge
of empty promises
with a sea of words that I don't know how to take
crashing below,
splashing my bare feet
a moon shining overhead
stars twinkling, the words I've never said

Other nights,
I stand on the same bridge
and it's made of happiness
with a sea of words that I've said
splashing at my bare feet
contented breezes blow
the same moon is overhead
and the stars are still twinkling
but this time,
they aren't regrets

Forever just a failure
with dark circles
and tired eyes
small shaky hands
messed up face
just as messy hair
music too loud
maybe ****** in the head
anxious thoughts
intense fear in crowds
only feel at home in between music notes
indecisive
never know what's wanted
needed
deserved
not what's desired
hates going places
deserves all the hate
never eats what's on the plate
can't keep a friendship
forever unhealthy looking
either too big or too small
the quiet thing that no one notices
always tired, always sleeping
just a failure by design
not a **** thing is right

I always said I'd never get attached again
but I did
oh god I did
and it's been up and down
but I wouldn't change it
some things just happen
and this was one of them

Everyone tells me I have a way with people
I make them leave
and it's true
and I've accepted that
but I don't want you to leave

It's you and me and all of the people,
with nothing to do,
and nothing to prove
to quote my favorite song

I know I tend to just let people see what they deserve
and that's usually not me,
it's better than I
but that's alright.
that's okay.
That's all I'm here to do,
lift you up to the stars,
and wave from the ground,
and you'll not remember the speck of earthly dust
as you're floating in the clouds

I miss you
it's a weight on my chest
I just want you here
but that's nothing new, it's all the time
I'm a little too affectionate sometimes
or all the time
I want to be curled up to you
falling asleep
talking about nothing,
it's just the small things

Everyone always told me to be happy
no one really accepted how
I'm getting there
and maybe when you leave,
if you ever do,
I'll go back to being sad
but that's life
it's okay,
things go on
bring the happiness to yourself
let it be

The things that make you happy
should keep you happy
A face full of happiness,
lit up,
eyes bright,
smiling
it's the best thing
when people are happy
being excited about things
it warms my heart to see

You are the sun
and she is the moon
two opposites
and never meant to be

I am the tides
and you are the waves
together we are one,
and forever will we stay

you are the grass on a summer night,
I am the fireflies lighting the sky
glistening off you is dew
tears of a night that's too long for I

you are the heart
and I am the blood
you are the purpose of me

Happiness is like a dream
something I can recall,
but it isn't tangible and
I can't seem to reach it,
there's a road block in my way
Too tall to climb over,
too far in the ground to crawl under
stretches for miles
and made of thoughts and
self-hating theories

That wall has ruined a lot for me,
it never seems to understand I don't like it
Can't really take a hint
I've beat the **** out of it,
and it hasn't budged
It's pretty exhausting.
Don't call it fight when you know it's a war,
with nothing but your t-shirt on
You can fight a wall
but you're not going to get anywhere

It's an imaginary wall
Really, just an illusion
a hypothetical object stopping me
but it seems so real
and it really hurts
hitting it again
and again
and again and again

I was hoping this year was going to be better for me,
but really,
I'm only worse,
and it's only February.

I'm sorry I did it again
I'm sorry I feel the way I do
I'm sorry I'm hurting you
I'm sorry I'm hurting me
I'm sorry I can't do anything right,
that's probably the most accurate thing I've said
I'm just an idiot with pointless problems
oh wait, I am a pointless problem
I'm sorry that you met me,
I'm sorry we ever talked
I'm sorry I put you through all of this ****
I'm sorry that you deserve more than me and you can't see that
I'm sorry that you disagree with me
I'm sorry I'm stubborn
and I'm sorry I'm sorry.
I know none of this means **** to you,
my sorry's really shouldn't,
not as many as I've had to say.
Not as much I have to apologize for.
In other words, I just need to shove them up my ***,
but it has to be known
There's alot of things I do to be sorry for
and I'm sorry for every single one of them

I like to think I'm nice
but I don't think other people think so
I really do try... sometimes...
but I always manage to not be
Laugh it off,
pretend it's not a big deal,
pretend it doesn't hurt,
pretend you don't feel.
It's a shadow in your mind,
whispering in your ear,
that you'll never be nice enough
good enough
that everyone hates you
when they really don't

I've always told myself that noone cares
just leave myself alone in the corner
and they'll leave you alone
but apparently, that makes you stuck up
conceited
you think you're better than everyone else.
but honestly?
it's the opposite.
You just don't want to talk.
perhaps you're too scared or shy
socially awkward
maybe have social anxiety
maybe you just simply like being alone,
no one will ever know,
and it shouldn't matter
it shouldn't be made fun of

"You can't write."
Yes, I can
I'm writing now
Whether it's good or not,
I don't care.
If you like it,
do it,
chase it,
achieve it,
don't let anyone take your happiness from you.
If it makes you happy,
that's all that matters.
You don't have to be discouraged
you can do whatever you want to.

Getting told you can't do something,
or you're bad at it,
it can be crushing.
there's always going to be someone
that doesn't find you to be
their cup of tea
and that's alright,
you don't have to be.
Besides, not everyone likes tea.
You're not going to be perfect,
that doesn't exist.
It's a dream that we will never reach.
Stop chasing something that is just a myth.
You're you, that's okay

Doing what you want to do
It can take a lot
Getting up and leaving
a friend,
a partner,
a relationship in any and all forms
but to make yourself happy
It's a life that you deserve
Happiness is a choice,
to not have it is absurd
Yes, there's a comfort in being numb
if it's all you've ever known
there's a comfort in tears
when you think you deserve it
I'd know.
But you don't deserve it
No one ever does
Be the old lady with tons of lines on her face
from laughing so hard in all of her days
Be the man with a smile always on his face,
or be the person who's just comfortable
You don't have to be sad,
though it's okay to be,
it's not a lifestyle,
so please don't make it out to be
don't torture yourself
with all of the pain.
Your appearance isn't the defining point in your life
It's not going to stop you from living the way you want

I'm curled up to a pillow
wishing it was you
Grasping my own hand
wishing it was yours
tears streaming down my face
****, I miss you.
I have a big bag of chocolate kisses,
but they don't compare to yours.
I can't sleep at all without you.
I'm lost in empty thoughts
and broken promises
wishing you were here
wishing you were still just a daydream away
wishing the thought of you was my simple comfort
but it's not enough
I'm downing coffee like it's water
trying to **** the fatigue
need to go to a doctor,
and you begged me to
but I still haven't yet

I really like the rain,
classical music too
It's storming tonight,
and it's 12:36 a.m
I have school tomorrow,
but I don't really care.
Maybe won't go,
maybe will hold my own hand
Who knows?
I really like the rain,
it's a sense of peace.
Running down pale, sullen faces,
that never move,
that never breathe.
I really like the rain,
I don't know why I do.

"It's okay baby, it's going to be okay." His tall frame held my fragile, petite one.

"No, it's not. You're going to leave too." Little did I know in that moment... he really would.

"I love you." In that moment, I froze.

"I hate you." In that moment, I shattered.

"You lied to me." I didn't lie.

"You never meant anything to me." In that moment, I was gone beyond repair.

"I care." In that moment, I was doubtful.

"I'm sorry." In this moment, I was truthful.

"Please don't take those pills again." In this moment, I wasn't worried.

"Are you okay?" An question that the answer will never grace my lips.

I'm breaking, but I'm not broken. Not yet.

I need you,*
but you needed to leave me
I had you,
but you never had me
I love you,
but did you ever love me?
I saw you,
tears, sadness, pain
laughter, happiness, gain
but did you notice?
I noticed you,
and your green eyes
opened wide,
susceptible.
I miss you,
but you don't miss me,
you have a friend of mine
that used to mean the world to me
now you're both gone
and I'm lonely
and alone, I suppose.
Soul torn open,
words dripping out,
eyes closed tightly,
tears slipping now.

Please.
Pleading.
Promising.
Pain.
******.

Painting a broken picture
on shattered glass
Playing games
with a fragile heart
broken yet, promised more
Picnicking alone in the dark
Pushed off a platform with rough paws
Passionate sins
picked up a pen,
and told the world what she says

Not one
but both
no preference
too scared to go too far
curled into material happiness
too far gone to come back
awake but asleep
until morning
and even then
alone again

Hurting me:
No one does it better than you
Emotions played
Nights spent crying
Days spent dying
Words said,
that weren't meant to be said
that weren't meant to be heard
that weren't meant to hurt.

Missing you:
I do that a lot
I wish I didn't.
It keeps me awake
Made my own mistakes
regret everything I've said.

You told me she was pretty
and I already knew that,
you told me I was a liar
and that hurt.
you told me I shouldn't care, and honestly...
I shouldn't
but I do
I hurt so much,
and I hate it
So tired of crying and breaking down
so tired of saying it doesn't matter and I'm fine
I can't do this anymore
I can't lose anymore
not that there's anything left to lose.

I write letters to you
that I know you'll never see
but perhaps by one little mistake
one drop of the page
maybe you'll see your name
maybe you'll read the words I could never say.
I wish I would have stayed,
and done the things I knew I should.
Because now you're gone,
God,
do I miss you.
I know you hate me.
I know you don't want to talk to me,
I know I hurt you...

You told me to find someone else to hurt,
but I never wanted to hurt anyone,
especially not you.

You're the one that held me today.
You're the one that helped me with my tears.
You're the one who believed in me.
What happened in such a short time span?
I can't believe I'm missing you so much
and I hope I'll get over this
because I don't want to care anymore
not about anything.

I never meant to make your big green eyes shed tears,
your round face to be rubbed at, trying to hide tear streaks
I never meant for your hands to shake
or your throat to close when you see me
I never meant for your heart to break.

I don't have any other way to say this
and I know you still don't care
but I'm sorry to the ends of the earth
and I'll miss you for days to come
I love you,
and I am so, so, sorry.

I'm sorry I'm not good enough
Can't save you from the comfort of wanting to die
I can't stop you from putting those pills in your mouth
Can't save you from the hell of a broken heart
Hell, I can't even help myself.

I can't stop you from hating me
I can't stop you from telling everyone how bad I am
I can't stop crying anymore,
i'm so tired of breaking down.
Hell, I'm never going to stop.

I'm sorry I'm not a good friend,
I'm sorry I couldn't make you stay
I'm sorry to the groups of people I've annoyed
I'm sorry to everyone
Hell, I'm never going to stop.

I feel so empty.
hollow.
broken.
scared.
tired.
cold.
wandering an empty world
with hollow souls
and broken smiles
scared minds
tired eyes
cold hands
and caged hearts
and high walls

Sick stomach,
food that won't stay down.
Loud music,
drowning out the sound of sniffling.
Pillows damp,
from trying not to scream.
Tired body,
exhausted from doing nothing.
overactive brain,
thinking of way too many things.

Tonight's the night I lose my mind,
it left with all of the people that walked out
of my life tonight,
left me alone,
just simply alone.
No one is around anymore,
but I have my music,
I guess that makes up for it...

Shaking hands,
typing out words that they don't mean.
Heavy eyes,
that won't close.
Shivering body,
freezing under blankets.

I'm sorry I can't do anything for you,
I can't do anything for myself
I'm sorry I'm not good enough for you
I'm not good enough for me either
I'm just a burden to you,
and you finally walked out of my life
Why can't I blame you?
I wouldn't have walked in

Can you hear the silence?
It's inside my mind
Can you see the dark?
It's darker inside
Can you fix the broken?
Is there any way to know?
Can you feel... can you feel my heart?
Pounding against my chest

Can you help the hopeless?
There's no help for the ******
Well, I'm begging on my knees,
You're never going to get it
Can you save my ******* soul?
Our souls are meant for hell
Will you wait for me?
No one ever waits

I'm sorry brothers,
So sorry.
So sorry lover,
I know you didn't want me
Forgive me father,
I wish you would have stayed
I love you mother.
though I'm not sure how much I meant to you sometimes

Can you hear the silence?
It's in my mind
Can you see the dark?
It's darker inside
Can you fix the broken?
There's no way to know

I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone.
But it's all I ever known
I long for that feeling to not feel at all.
But that is something I'll never feel
The higher I get, the lower I'll sink.
Like an anchor in the dark blue sea of tears
I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim.
*Unlike me

At the point where
I don't know why I'm still trying to impress you
make you proud of me,
because all you do is scream
tell me I could be better.
You can say whatever
but tonight I'm not coming undone.
I tried, and it's good enough for me
I can't do any more.
I've done the best I can
and you only want more

December 21st,
the year of 2013
I made a promise to myself
and I've kept it.
Over a year, I haven't self harmed.
No blade, object have I used to cut my skin.
And I am proud.

I'm not gonna be another hit & run,
another ball hit in your game
but baby if you want to play
I'll play for sure
Tired of being hurt
and others being there too
You aren't gonna "get with me"
like your friends told you to
I'm not these other girls,
that you tricked
honey I've been here and dealt with it a thousand times
Don't think I don't know
Your friends tell me all that you say
and god forbid you say you didn't

Today you said
you were ashamed of me,
that you didn't know why I existed..
you called me an anorexic *****
you told me I wasn't good at anything
and I was going to amount to nothing
you called me a depressed brat
well I'm sorry I seem that way
today you said you hated me,
to your friends
but today I heard.
And I didn't expect it.
but I didn't cry...
I didn't hate you...
I didn't respond...
I just walked outside
in the freezing snow
and made myself numb.
today you said I was worthless
and I've never deserved anything
or anyone
and today
I'm not sorry I don't meet your expectations

For the first time in his life,
he was speechless
not a word to say
A thought unformed,
a bell not rang
silently staring,
mouth agape
at the woman who made him think
in different ways

For the first time in her life,
she was speechless
to the woman who told her
she was beautiful
in so many different ways
she was speechless to the friends she had made
unable to formulate words,
chatterbox broken,
a record skipping

Like any other time in his life,
he was speechless,
not a word to say,
unforced words to people he'd never known
to people who don't care
until he's online,
with his fair share.

Like any other time in her life,
she was speechless,
but no,
not on paper,
her words flowed like a rushing river
but only on paper
to be unseen but to her.

The words don't come out correctly,
forever lodged in my throat,
in my mind,
never to leave,
stuck inside.
There's so many things I'd love to say,
but I'm too scared to force them out.
Only on a site full of strangers,
will my words come out,
incorrectly,
not the message I want to send,
not the way I want to say things,
but still, they come out to mingle
and meet new friends.
I'm too shy,
too scared of being noticed,
hide in the back of the room,
wrapped in a black jacket
and face hid,
words forming in your windpipe
sitting there,
choking you,
but you just can't get them out.