Every night I pass my mirror and I hear the beckoning call,
"Come to me my love I won't hurt you, not at all".
I turn to see the bright familiar face a ghostly apparition shimmering in the mirror,
she always lures me with intentions that make myself quiver,
and yet I yearn to go back always for more,
Mia the perfect girl; the final form.
My hand raises as I begin to touch the light she casts,
I see myself reflecting in the background,
I am faded while she dominates the glass.
Darkness entails me when I step through the mirror,
a sickening feeling of blindness and sheer terror.
All I hear is the echoing laughter of the sickening girl, hurling insults and making me want to dive deeper into her world,
"Disgusting
"Worthless
"Horrible"
And
"Fat"
These are only the mediocre things she says when I'm fighting this horrible trap.
But again I always come back always for more,
I conjure this, as I ***** on the toilet of her bathroom floor.
Mia is holding my hair, consoling while Im chocking and sprawled.
"Good girl" she says "You have nothing to fear not anymore"
She picks me up grasps me tells me I'm now beautiful,
" Thank you" I reply "then why do I feel so horrible?"
"For you are killing yourself you see; look back into the mirror and follow me"
I follow In desperation willing myself to live,
I want to be perfect but is dying something I truly can forgive?
I glance again, a reflection of myself and her by my side.
She whispers in my ear "you are not truly alive"
I look back towards myself she is now gone but I still stand there,
We are one
now a whole,
Her world is my own and now I'm left all alone.

Words to a page,

Numbers to paper,

completely different but still written.


I paint pictures in my mind imaginary tales and things so define,
while he slots the figures and logistics in between.

Can words go with numbers?

Will the real world meet imaginary?

I believe so.

Because I still need someone to count my words,

and he needs someone to pull him away from reality,

Once in awhile.

He, was always well composed,
what a father should be.
And she, plastered a smile day to day thinking next of what could be,
but it was always just a thought never acted.
The world sees what you want it to see,
how foolish of them,
how foolish of me.
But as a child you also see what you want to see, when the people you love the most hide behind a veil of protection,
Until that veil shatters.
And you are ****** into a world of unknown called adulthood,
you see the bruises, the letters, the threats of violence,
you remember his face,
but now behind his eyes it wasn't love that you saw,
it was possession.
The smile that you loved on your mother was to keep the tears at bay,
and the nightmares you had of her crying and begging were alive because they were right outside your door.

Now left to pick up the pieces,
there is a girl left abandoned,
a farther who hurt because he never loved,
a mother who still says “what if”,
and a facade unravelled.

Dear friends and family,
Have you ever noticed the silence of the forest?
Not a sound penetrates these dense thickets of brown and green,
and when you walk you can feel the stillness,
the tranquillity and serene.
Footsteps stir the dust creating a blizzard, it stays when you progress,
even the earth's natural instinct is to dissolve back into nothing.
The forest light never shines, and come to think of it neither does mine,
because i've travelled deep enough in and there is no returning.


The fauna here is beautiful, so much life when there is death,
birds chirping out their sweet call as if begging for me to not end this nature walk,
and when I do I know they wont stop chirping, their life will go on,
as will you when you come to terms with what I've done.
I have to find the perfect spot and more than not a perfect place,
because when I leave this earth I want to give back to natures grace.
I will be a bird,
free to explore the next journey without the burden of the world.
I am ready, I want to fly with the assistance of my noose I wont have to stay alive.
Dear friends and family,
Have you ever noticed the stillness of the forest?
because I do not make a sound.

The screen is our religion,
dreary eyed and mouth wide open we are absorbed into the graphics.
Swirling around us on the the Tv plane are the stories,
“breaking news” we are breaking ourselves,
because the tendrils come shooting out and grasp our brain feeding us poison.
Our soul carers called the democratic love playing dress up,
a wolf in sheep's clothing,
and while they play we are neglected,
bad parenting.

We don't get to play,
we are the ants,
in systematic order, we provide,
the only time we get to play is when we retreat inside our mind.
Then we become the stereotype “ignorance is bliss”
while the world falls to pieces, is it because we voted for this?
Maybe.
We are the ones in control and yet we have no power,
we lounge inside, the clock is ticking by the hour.
The world is broke with each secret kept,
each person pretending that its okay,
while the connected, open minded ones feel powerless and hide away.