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Bryan J Powers Nov 2010
Another day seems to pass by in the desert as it has for hundreds if not thousand of years,
Except the crunch of gravel and sand as a 2 ton frag 4 tuned up humvee races down another street in Iraq,
no surprise to see this in Iraq since the US led invasion in 2003,
same **** different day, otherwise known to soldiers as SSDD syndrome,
only this day would forever change lives,
the flash was white hot and the melting metal was proof enough of the sheer explosivness of the improvised explosive device,
the blast enough to let Iraqis living miles away look up to see the smoke,
they never heard the screaming though,
but the soldiers did as they raced to what was left of the humvee,
three dead upon impact,
a fourth lay screaming on the ground with what was left of the rest of his legs still in the passenger seat,
medics on  the ground did good and saved the poor soul,
his screams would fill the Iraqi night for for hours,
a short chopper ride to Baghdad Hospital,
they docs put his feet on ice, quite literally,
more than ten hours of surgery and the legs were sewn back on, but this soldiers fight was over,
a flight on the first plane to Ramstein Air Base Germany,
but the doctors cant do anything for this man,
he needs propers medical care,
send him home to Fort Bragg,
Womack Army Hospital,
doctors are optimistic as they tell this hero he will live but his days in the Army are over,
the tears are unexplainable as he pleads with the doctors to **** him
he doesnt want to live,
he may never walk again, he is a freak, his fiancee wants nothing to do with a *******,
over a week the soldier tries everything he can,
pulling out IVs,
injecting his blood stream with air filled needles,
his screams keep the other patients awake during the cold nights,
his crying during the day a constant reminder of the hell that only those who have lived it can ever know,
a week passes by, at least one suicide attempt a day,
then the soldiers fiancee arrives,
the crying becomes unstoppable as he pleads for her to leave him, not to look at his crippled body, that he wishes to die,'
why? she asks,
the question stops his tears,
why? she repeats,
because I am a ******* I may never walk again,
so? she asks, calling in the doctor,
the doctor arrives to find the soldier in tears and the meanest scowl ever seen on a woman,
doctor she asks, so he may never walk correct?
thats correct the doctor replies,
can he still have ***? she asks,
the doctor is stumped by the question and stumbles as he replies, well....yea its only his legs not his *****,
the fiancee looks at her soldier,
well then why the hell are you crying? as long as we can still have *** I am not leaving you!
the soldier sobs uncontrolably as his future wife holds him dearly,
the smiles on the other patients outwardly happy for the both of them,
then dinner arrives, the fiancee freaks out,
throwing the food across the room and storming from the hospital,
the soldier believing she had finally realized he was a *******, sobs once more,
the patients, doctors and nurses stumped,
another suicide attempt made,
thrity minutes pass,
the fiancee arrives, carrying a Dominos pizaa,
she holds him closely as she says he cant eat hospital food anymore,
he needs to eat right so that he can walk again,
and so comes a miracle through pain.

NO **** people this is a true story i witnessed myself in the Womack Army Hosptial roughly early 2006. It was a beautiful sight to see, and any man would consider himself blessed to be with what I can only describe as a miracle and the truest woman alive. That soldier deserved nothing less, oh, and he did walk again.
Karijinbba Jul 2018
I STILL EXIST- I STILL EXIST
My pen writes
I still Exist

and an empty feeling engulfs me
I am painting a purple tree
I tell my family counselor
That the paint reminds me
Of arsenic Greek cheese dust
That a human predator
two faced fiancee
placed on my green salad in 1976
He said he would teach me how Greeks killed with love at sea
Then kindly offered
To bring
breakfast and lunch
for me in bed
(Ladden with poison)
While I ate it he danced Zorba the Greek!
His jealous raicist medeas mistresses knew his past crimes
I didn't I was very naive
his superstitious ignorant parents twelve people  asked him to Get rid of me baby and all

Overdosed with pitocin for a cow
giving birth was a torture
then blood thinners
were added to slowly
end my life
A hate crime because I a sub human born in Mexico not Greece
The poisons caused
a chest malformation of my daughter requiring surgery
later in life was mis-diagnosed
as pectus scavatum
but I knew better it was
attempted ******
a chilling secret I was so ashamed to reveal

I did escape my kids and me
we survived  the memory
of my true love's loving ways
In America saved me from certain death there I was 75 lbs
When I escaped Hell
Greece
But salads gave me
Nausea through the years
I could never recall why

Painting gets my mind
Off painful memories
resurficing examining my life understanding me and others

I have many regrets unwittingly
my loving innermost feelings
remained trapped inside
and I lost my true love
in my dead calm silence of pain
Foolish online Ink
One involuntary bad deed
In Veracruz
Two SAD songs

My shrink says I have a beautiful
Soul a relentles spirit
That I managed to do better then
Most despite hellish adversity
A childhood marred with
heartbreak a trail of
Graves tree stumps
Coffin and treassures
Spirit breath of life and death
  
My hybrid race was secret
Poverty lack of Rhogam
My father the Apocalyto
Hero killed by MEX Feds
Who stole my Land
We are indigenous
Purhepecha tribe
The enemy of the Aztecs
So me my father's little queen of the forest his STAR could
Fly high and zoar
He was the love of my life
My dad David

A few days of effexor RX can bring about amnesia to block old kidnapping memories of turture resurficing unsolicited
Effexor to stop tears
regulating serotonin disrupted
After a car accident with traumatic head injury concoussion brain swelling so much that falling asleep for three months was impossible

MD prescribed just a trial
few warp eight mind bending Effexsors serotonin reuptakers
For only fifteen days
Half of thirty seven mg
Tears stopped immediatly a calmnesss
self assured old me demeanor
re-emerged I remember the arsenic and blood thiner injections the faces of sadistic jealous women but it didn't hurt

But soon my heart began to speed up so fast I could hear it beating in my ears at lowest dose

so the higher dose was not allowed.
Side effects if used longer than six months could make the
face to twich! who needs that!

So therapy ended slowly redusing small to smallest dosages for fifteen days
treatment ended
Don't like messing with my brain

Today I enjoy simple pleasures
echos born like me in
In the atlantic mystery

family time my lifetime best
best lover best Mother
nest friend to me myself
Remembering those few
Souls
Who deared greatly
their wisdom and foresigh to bet
On my future my light myself!
my father's little
Queen of the forest tribute to
My Once Upon A Time
True love his love songs
His poems quickening me
Awaking me
He was the love
Of my life my true love JPC/RC

He showed me he loved me
But he never could "tell me"
He loved me all my fault
Thinking back not ever
any other man told me
he loved me one or two boys wanted something from me freely given or taken by force from me
I didn't want them at all
No person growing up
Ever
Told me they loved me and most showed me my life didn't matter
many of my civil rights were violated throughout my life by thugs hainas had more charm
Only my father David San chez
and later my adoptive Mother mommy dearest told me once she loved me showed me she cared.
My children tell me and show me
They love me
Sometimes they hate me too
sadly they are under the spell of deadly sterile drug user enemies who assassinate my character lie and slander me to my grown daughters and I have now become estranged until they figure all out on their own so they learn to fight woolves in sheeps clothing and understand treason
and ungratefulness towards their own mother
There was only one man I loved
The MOST on this whole wide world
His ink scripted love remained the good intermigled with evil
Forever a part of me
My Lord Shiva my first teacher
My sage my guru
My Lancelott
Me  first love my last love
my tree of life he was
The only man I ever loved
and lost
Looking back
I thank G** King Jesus
King Arthur
And few other men who
Traveled in and out my door
Only one had my lock's key
I am glad you came along
I sing this last song
In memory of all the good
The bad and very bad
The few nefarious vipers I kissed
I forgive you all forgive you me for NOT
Understanding you
For loving those fellowmen
Who didn't know how to love me back
I wave my last
Good bye
I
Will
In your light and my own
Pray for you and me

As for the love of my life
"You are like a prayer
In church to God"
"I remembet you,
as someone something
VERY DEAR and precious"
You were the Best
You touched my STAR
And my starry skies sparkle
With your light remember me
in the same light my love
Look me up with your telescope
When you watch the stars
From your sun roof
In your bedroom

Find my Aries Constelation
For there is
My home
Without
You
I've taken with me a piece
Of Veracruz
A Mothers Day surprise
at the Hilton
raised in your arms on a warm June at a  bar
Where i felt like a bride
your bride

I almost asked you then and there to throw a big party
for you and me
But the monastery's dead silence
Growing up isolated
Silenced the spontaniety
Of thought you required of me
yet again!You regressed me you
tried in so many ways for me to
tell you  "I love you I am sorry
I'll marry you!"
All over again
I adored you remember this
Always.
Look me up with your telescope I AM
in The Aries Constelation I am Aprils daisy Aries diamond a
Yelow Self Existing Star says the Tzolkin Star Seed
Galactic seed always flowering....Enter me
Yours Always.
~~~~~~~
Revised 11-29th-2018
Excerpt from my memoir
auto biography
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Rowan  Sep 2018
How To Write
Rowan Sep 2018
Start with a word, any word.
And then a year later you might find a hundred pages.
A story just begun, a tale, that, in reality, needs some editing.
But I didn’t find myself in these pages I’d written, like the inspirational quotes say.
I found my characters, I found a few bad habits too,
Like how I bite my fingers as I stare at my computer in frustration,
Or stare at the wall in blank fixation.

Once the word is picked, don’t bleed out onto the screen,
Hold yourself together, else you won't have to lips to pour forth a single key.
Some old dude told you to bleed, didn’t he?
I’ve found, I don’t bleed until page 71,
When I have bonded with Jonathon,
And now I must watch him mourn his fiancee,
Who never got to propose.

Be careful about your planning. Too methodical,
And you’ll lose yourself in the untold parts,
Too spontaneous and you’ll see your story turned from
An epic dragon escape to a horror filled romance.
Find a medium of crazy that suits you, and remember the details
Of the night you tried marijuana and coughed as the smoke hit your throat.

Hug the computer tight, don’t let anyone see
Until you’ve determined the story strong. Some people open up at the blank page,
While others hide it away until it’s a polished four hundred and sixty two, front and back.
Say, here’s an idea—don’t forget to study your grammar too.
Unless, of course, you’re poetry demands to be free,
then flow round the corner and hesitate not with commas
theyll be no use for you.

After all this advice, I’ll tell you one thing.
Forget all of it, it’ll be nothing to you.
We storytellers like to go on and on about how to write,
When we barely ever write a real story of characters in between speeches.
If the only thing I could tell you, the only important fact I can say with utter certainty is,

For god’s sake,
Write.
Michael DeVoe Mar 2012
At my high school reunion
Years from now
In the old gym
They'll ask, whatever happened to us anyway
I won't have an answer for them
It'll be a shoulder shrug
Upward palms
And a colon backslash face
They'll move on to my son
Or work
Or school
Or some distant memory which will undoubtadly begin with, "remember that time"
And most likely end with, "those were the days"
And while they move on with their conversations
I will still have a colon backslash face
And my mind will be in a completely different time machine than the prom queen and the class clown
I will
By the end of it all
Have devoted what I can only imagine to be significantly more time than alotted
Thinking about what did ever happen to us anyway
And when I go home to what I anticipate being a beautiful, intellegent, loving wife, girlfriend, fiancee thing
She will
For a moment
Or possibly two moments
Not measure up to you
And I hope she won't notice my colon backslash face
That she'll end up smiling until she falls asleep

The morning after my high school reunion
I will stand in front of my mirror
And for much longer than two moments
I will not measure up
To the man you could have made me
And I will notice
I will start by ******* in my gut
Running my hands through my hair to try and imagine myself with a different style
I will analyze my wardrobe
And half way through auditing my music collection I will fall to the floor
I will cry
And with you in the forefront of my mind
I will
In true movie scene fashion
Whisper to no one
Whatever happened to us anyway
And worse than not having an answer at the reunion
I won't have an answer for myself
In an empty living room
Because I really don't know whatever happened to us anyway
One day we were
The next day we weren't
It was so adult
I was so civil
Even our break-up will be the best I ever had

The day before my high school reunion
I will cut my hair
Trim my arm pits
And clip my beard
I will iron a suit
Pick a good tie
And I imagine
In front of a mirrror
I will
Be proud of the man I have become

In the years going forward
And leading up to that high school reunion
I will
As a matter of life's course
Have no other occasion
To ask myself
Whatever happened to us anyways
But never the less
One night
Years from now
That question
Will leave me paralyzed
Scared
Heartbroken
Lonely
And even if
I am not alone
My pillow will remember
For one night
Or maybe even two nights
How to smell like you
And my arms
If only for a half a moment
Or possibly one whole moment
Will
With no luck
Reach for you
A collection of poems by me is available on Amazon
Where She Left Me - Michael DeVoe
http://goo.gl/5x3Tae
paige elliott May 2013
she comes from the foam
the knife from her gut
hidden in her rolling cloak
taking steps along the shore
her coral hair
catching the light of the moon

she stumbles across a bonfire
a party for a prince’s fiancee
introducing herself to the couple
the girl stares past them at the slowly tossing waves

the lead her to the castle
giving her nicer clothes, a shower
the graceful princess
her gilded gown glistening
as she teaches the beauty of the sea
to brush her hair, use a fork

she walks with them.

...

the atrocities committed
by her new family
oil in the oceans
disastrous runoff
carried by the currents
putting the sea, her sea
to a slow and painful death

at night, she crept into their chamber
her knife unsheathed
shimmering, poised above her captors
she moved to strike

stopped, by a sea witch
the cruel being smiled
her teeth, cracked and crooked shells
striking a deal:
a life for a life
the sea maiden would be turned
a daughter of triton, son of poseidon
fins instead of legs
protecting the ocean, her home

from the inside.
(fairy tale poem for class, supposedly reminiscent of anne sexton. )
Taylor  Apr 2014
Raver boy.
Taylor Apr 2014
And I didn't know.

How could I have?

How was I to know that my ocean eyed, long haired raver boy was her fiancee?

How was I to know that when he was kissing me in the dark, neon lights all around us, that she was waiting for him?

Yes, he is marrying her.

And no, she will never know my name.

Like I never happened.
Please just leave me alone and get married already.
Zack Phillips  Aug 2013
D-Day
Zack Phillips Aug 2013
Raindrops glisten as they slide down her soaked profile
And slowly make their way down to assault her blouse and the floor
The crumpled up letter from the military sulks in the corner
Sneering at the ex-fiancee's plight
The title comes from the attack of the French beaches in Normandy during World War II. I felt it was fitting for a military death poem, albeit outdated.
Karijinbba Jul 2021
Like ugly ducklings to lovely
Swans transformed we are.
I remember thine breath of life blowing in labellum.
Stunt by your hunger for me
In shivers silence stuck
the dagger in heart
mine and thine, beloved.

In vain I sought you I
Roamed the open seas with cowards ****** greedy racist human predators
In sheep's clothings.
Two forces of good and evil hubbered above my cradle

To get here powers of evil
took everything and I lost everyone dear to me
even my honor just to reach thine forces of good
I'd surrender to you if worth anything to you take it all
for treasures in my hands

without fortress if your love
slides like water in hands
I find thee everywhere in famous art even in
crossroad lights
I found thee in sonnet 75
with William Shakespeare.

Thine grace showered me with wisdom and thine thirsting for me became my own longing for thee
decades now my beloved

I search no more for thine love tattooed all over my vessel peacefully rests
No one but us two can see it.

You reign butterfly in heart
few lovers have eyed me
yet quickly eluded me
  they too, like your butterfly,
Go in search of their own.

Yes only yours returned
Adorned with diamonds and rubbies calling me fiancee.

I painted two on my chest
To never be apart
I love thee the most
forever and ever.
~~~~~~
By Karijinbba
All Rights Reserved
Sonnet, 75-95- present
True story an ET from another world designed two identical  rubbie and diamond butterflies
Just for me as an engay gement gift .Rdd/BbA
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
I hear you are getting married
I don't know what emotions it yield
I am numb when I think of you
Or is it sadness that I feel?

I'm reminded of the times together
Whether good or bad, I can't gather
I remember I was told that we had no future
But why exactly, I yet do not know...

Your sister compared me to a ****
With whom no man could have a future
For what erroneous sin of mine,
That mystery, I am yet to unveil!

To your family - we were not compatible
Or was it more to do with the dowry and sorts?
Compatible indeed, in monetary terms perhaps?
But did you not fall for me, to pursue more than worldly dreams?

Your reasons too, were beyond my reasoning
And your tears at times seemed forced to me
You said I was a fairy, placed high on a pedestal
Who could be worshiped but to the world could not be revealed.

You soon let go, marking the end of 'we'
A year gently passed and it was an ordeal
Yet I thought when I move out, you would feel
That we were the best, that was and could ever be!

And that with time life would bring you back to me
I wonder why I had cringed at being set free
Longing to be with someone, who'd never stand up for me.
And a year was gone before your call woke me from my dream

You said you had missed hearing my sweet, lovely voice -
And remembered clearly that I had a **** toned body
Gently reminding me that our love was dead and gone -
You told you did think of me, though you were over me long ago!

Numbed by tears, I heard you ask me to fall in love again
And claimed that my man would be the luckiest of them all
And assured he would be dead, if a tear to my eyes he brought -
For as a 'friend' you would guard me against all odd!

Convincing that you too longed to see me again
Promising me to meet up the next time you'd come
Leaving me, like the previous year, completely shunned
You hung up, leaving no more strength in me to summon!

-------------------------------------------------------
­
Now, I'm frankly done
I have cried enough without cursing you
Lied to myself, trying to cheer all
And held myself steady, in spite of all that dreary!

And one day you walk into my house
With my man, as an uninvited guest
With caution I welcome, trying to be courteous
For I know your ways, your ease at getting flirtatious.

You claim you are visiting, you have come for a wedding
I wonder why after years, you do not choose to go home
To your ailing father, nor to your aging mom
Nor to console a sister, over whom you had cried tonnes!

Or to your beloved fiancee - who was yours
Even when you'd called to tell me I was hot!
To that pretty face which had been waiting for your arrival
And will be betrothed to you, within a month!

Your ways have always left me awestruck
And yet I have tried to treat you with respect
But now, you have left in me no more emotions -
Than to despise a name that was stuck to me by birth!
Written on 17th May, 2011.
Sometimes I think, it is better to write. Than to have it all in me.
Let me see if I will live longer this way!
Ashwin Kumar Oct 2023
All of us, at some stage or the other
Have had certain experiences
Which have changed our lives forever
For the better, or for the worse
Of course, if it were the latter
We would have developed scars
Some of these scars
Take as much time to heal
As it takes, to place a human being on the Moon!!

Look at me, for example
Happy being single, at the age of thirty
Except for some work stress, of course
All it took, for everything to change
Was that infernal M-word

Well, it was but natural
That I would be apprehensive at first
However, as I got to know the girl
My heart told me
That I was on the right track

A couple of meetings
At my place
And then at her place
Followed by a month full of daily phone calls
And my decision was made

Our engagement was quite the tiny affair
My heart though, told me
That we were a cute couple
My brain was sure not
Of course, you all know
That I always follow my heart
And so it was, in this case too

Well, there were a few red flags
However, overruled was my brain, once more
On a roll, was my heart
I had everything in life
Or so did I think

Just was I getting ready
To tie the knot
When the pandemic struck
Suddenly, did everything look uncertain

So upset did my fiancee become
She stopped talking to me
Nor was my family spared
Though hardly was it our fault

Well, after a week or so
The silence was finally broken
However, never were things the same again

Often would we run out of topics to discuss
Except for a few mundane ones
For instance, what we had for dinner etc etc
And would she make herself available
Only around 9 PM
This was but a red flag
Which did I fail to recognise, yet again
Because she had lost her job, due to COVID19

As always, did my heart overrule my brain, yet again
And thus did we go ahead with the wedding
Much to my relief, must I say
Since it was but almost five months
Post that accursed lockdown

So, again did I think
That I had everything in life
How wrong was I to be

Right from the beginning
Her lack of interest was obvious
Even on my birthday
Did she fail to spend time with me
However, as always
Did my heart give her the benefit of doubt
Paying absolutely no heed
To the objections raised by my poor brain

Well, this was just the tip of the iceberg
Compared to what was about to follow
When her infidelity was exposed
Never once, did she let me out of her sight
Far from not showing interest
Did she become super possessive
As sudden as a heart attack

My best friend did her best to warn me
Which only ended up turning my wife
Into a jealous ******
Forcing me to cut my bestie off
Which was but one of the worst moments
In my entire life

However, so determined was my best friend
That she gave up not
And, along with my sister
Ended up saving me from total disaster

Though I was ultimately relieved
My now estranged wife's behaviour
Still did prove to be enough
To induce in me, a state of depression
Which lasted for more than a month

Apart from my best friend
And a few close relatives
No one was to know this
Thus, every time was the topic of my marriage raised
Did I have to keep up the facade
And pretend everything was fine
Which failed not, to **** me from the inside

Also, it helped not
That, tedious to the extreme
Was the divorce process
Not to mention, getting further delayed
Thanks to that infernal pandemic

Nor did it help
That my to-be-divorced wife
Threw a few tantrums
Every now and then
In the form of a few messages
Which reeked of utter desperation
Also was I forced, by my lawyer
To maintain a strict silence
Even if it, as always
Killed me from the inside

There was but a silver lining
In all this darkness
Finally, did my brain come to the fore
After being overruled many a time
By my rather naive and impulsive heart

Well, ultimately was the divorce done
But not before we were forced
To pay that wretched girl
A frigging four lakhs
On "humanitarian" grounds
That too, after her outrageous refusal
To return all the jewellery
That we had bestowed upon her
Out of sheer love and compassion

Well, this entire experience has failed not
To leave inside me a few scars
That run rather deep
And may take as much time to heal
As it does for England
To win a Football World Cup!!

My therapist calls this experience "traumatic"
I agree not with her
However, I can equally deny not
That it has indeed affected my life
In a rather adverse manner
My self-confidence, in particular
Has taken a bigger beating
Than did Pakistan's bowlers yesterday
At the hands of Warner and Marsh!!

Yes, we must indeed embrace our scars
However, to expect that to happen
Within a span of two years
Is like asking India to win a Football World Cup
Given that, at present
They are not even able to qualify in the first place!!

Yes, we must indeed embrace our scars
Because they doth prepare us
For mightier challenges ahead
And life is full of such things
However, the first thing to do
Would be, to accept them in the first place
And more importantly, acknowledge them
Because, only when are we kind to ourselves
Can we truly heal
And this doth apply
Even to the tiniest of wounds!!
This is a poem on the scars that I bear due to my divorce and the painful proces of embracing them.

— The End —