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Dec 2021 · 42
Dela
Samir Koosah Dec 2021
Sinto saudades…
Do seu cheiro, dos seus beijos,
Dos seus cabelos.
De te assistir chegando quando estou te esperando
Da forma que fico, sem graça, tímido, quase uma criança
Na sua presença.



Saudades…
Do seu toque, da sua pele, do seu gosto
Dos seus abraços, de te abraçar.
De te segurar até dormir

Da sua beleza, inefável
Do jeito que voce me faz rir
Colocar a palma da sua mão contra a minha,
Das suas unhas roídas…



Passo vontades, doídas, mas que vontades boas!
Aug 2020 · 113
Presence
Samir Koosah Aug 2020
Like a gentle warm breeze she used to fill the room.
On a velvet embrace.
Aug 2020 · 70
Trash or garbage
Samir Koosah Aug 2020
Treat my like garbage, please don't treat me like trash
Sure, I am used to be treated like trash
I've been tossed around, discarded, stepped on
And like a good old piece of trash, I endure

But it is inhumane of a treatment
Save it to your tampons, your baby wipes, your cigarette butts
I deserve more, expect more from you

Treat me like Garbage
Give me to the pigs, burry me under the roses in your garden
I deserve some dignity despite what you think of me
I am garbage
I swear I am
Just a play with the meanings
Aug 2020 · 57
Trade of trust
Samir Koosah Aug 2020
Trust is a tricky trade
From the tender age they try and teach us
To trust on those with ties of the family tree
Then teachers, friends, treasured ones, they all pay the toll
On the same treasure, trust that is.

Though trust, told you this one, a tricky trade is
Time after time they try and take a tip from thee
Till in them trust thou loose till grave.
A tricky trade that one
Aug 2020 · 259
Time comes
Samir Koosah Aug 2020
Time comes for us all, for all in fact
With no remorse, with no warning
The master of the whole

Which causes the strongest to bow, the hardest to break
While the itself keeps it's pace, at no expense, regardless

Wait and you will see they say
But time can be so cruel that when comes the moment it took you your sight also.

Yes, time is dependable, but don't count in it, for it can be slow when you most need it,
And most swift when you less expect it.

When you have it, is by mere irony.
When you lack it is by pure mockery.

That's time. Most people don't even see it going by.
Time gives, time takes away…
The ironic role that time plays in our life, in one's feelings.
Aug 2020 · 88
Who knows
Samir Koosah Aug 2020
Some days the world just seems to be turning the other way around
Some days things just needed to turn the other way around also.
Turn around and away. People, feelings, time, if only they left me alone
For today I mean, just for today.
Cause tomorrow is another day, and tomorrow isn't written still,
We don't suffer for tomorrow, we stand still. We stand in awe, awaiting for grace and counting on beauty.
I should've known better...
Aug 2018 · 585
Avante
Samir Koosah Aug 2018
A noite chega, soturna, calada. Os remédios parecem não fazer efeito. Sozinho novamente com meus pensamentos, embalado pelo som do ventilador e das batidas do meu coração.
Nao sei porque ele insiste em bater, parece um esforço inútil.
As horas passam lentamente, como nos movimentos de uma duna. A areia do tempo descendo vagarosamente pela ampulheta. Se ao menos pudesse ver. Me sinto cego, queria eu estar cego?
Minha decepção só não é maior que a decepção que causei.
Não há lugar aqui senão neste papel para a dor, uma fraqueza que todos tentam esconder - por questão de sobrevivência provavelmente. Os amigos poucos que me restam seguem suas vidas enquanto tento ser feliz, ao menos por eles.
Saudade aqui toma outras formas, como uma tortura ao melhor estilo Stanley
Kubrick em “Laranja Mecânica”, em que as imagens passam repetidamente por minha cabeça sem que eu possa fazer absolutamente nada.
Família, amigos, amores, à distância de uma chamada, uma chamada. Para quem ligar, como?
O cárcere em sua pior faceta, o isolamento social. Conto nos dedos de uma mão as pessoas com quem consigo manter uma conversa. Mesmo assim nao consigo conversar, a cabeça e o coracao nao estao aqui, eles fugiram, estão lá fora, espero que a minha espera.
Outro cigarro, mais um café. Quantos mais, quantas mais palavras? A caneta e o papel são meus melhores amigos, às vezes até me entendem. Monólogos em horas, diálogos em outras.
Me pergunto qual seria o limite entre a sanidade e a demência aqui. Se é que existe um, estou eu ficando são ou louco?
Nao era quando cheguei, provavelmente foi o que me trouxe aqui, agora só me resta um caminho a seguir e tenho que achá-lo sozinho.
Não tenho arrependimentos, aqui não há lugar para eles, há agora um só caminho a seguir, em frente! Adiante!
Aug 2018 · 459
Saudades
Samir Koosah Aug 2018
Tonight she left us... In the middle of the night she passed to say her last goodbye in the form a short rain right in the middle of the dry season. Wind blew the leaves on the garden she played as the plants celebrated the long awaited rain. That first rain that comes as a carrier of life, telling the trees to start blooming, the cicadas to awake from their sleep, grass to sprout.
Today was a sad day for me, but someone up there just got a new best friend and is celebrating.
Requiescat in pace Maria Sharapova. A friend, a family member, a unique creature in every way. You will be missed and remembered,
Aug 2018 · 215
Saudade
Samir Koosah Aug 2018
Sinto ainda seu cheiro
Escuto ao fundo sua voz
Toda noite te encontro,
Em meus sonhos.

Um sonho que mantenho vivo,
enquanto  vivo eu mesmo estiver.
Aonde eu estiver,
te levo junto de mim.
Te levo junto a mim.
Te tenho junto a mim?

Sou junto a ti.
Aonde estiveres.
Somos enquanto for
enquanto eu for
aonde eu for.

Mas sou?
Quem sou?
Vou ali me encontrar,
para te encontrar.

Aonde for
aonde eu for….
Vou viver meu sonho.
Aug 2018 · 223
Lost and found
Samir Koosah Aug 2018
For I’ve been lost and found, only to be lost again.
Freedom seemed brighter on the other side of the fence,
plans seemed simpler, hopes higher.
There was time, a chance to enhance.
The rope suddenly seems tighter again.
None said it would be easy
to let go of these knots that tie me to my own prison.
In the end my own knots are the hardest ones to loosen.
Aug 2018 · 2.8k
For what?
Samir Koosah Aug 2018
Lost inside my thoughts at night, silence is muted by the noise of my own mind. A deafening
silence.
Life and death, so fragile, such short moments. Why do we live by them? Time itself is
defined by life and death. By the rise and fall of the sun everyday.
How to define this I am going through right now? I don't feel alive nor dead. Time does not
seem to exist here and now, as the entire known world to me.
Like a caterpillar, trapped inside a cocoon, morphing myself to a butterfly, unaware of the
changes on the outside, of the perils awaiting for her on the outside as she gets out in the
search of the prettiest flowers on the path that leads to her partner, having to guess what
way to go.
Will I emerge as a butterfly or as a moth? Can one choose? Defined by genetics, sure. But
that does not apply here. Self awareness and focus are probably the defining factors in this
case. And if so, I shall emerge out of my cocoon as a beautiful Monarch, to cross the globe
after my soulmate, in a difficult but rewarding journey. Facing all forces of nature to find her,
and to finally be with her to the end of my short existence.
I don't want to leave this capsule as a moth, to hide in the shades and wonder through the
night. I want to emerge as one of her kind, a beautifully delicately coloured butterfly glowing
and reflecting every ray of sunlight that finds her delicate silklike wings.
To Monicah, thanks for all the support and love you've showed, they were and have been crucial in my life. Thanks for convincing me to share my writings.
Aug 2018 · 272
Alhambra dreaming
Samir Koosah Aug 2018
Created by the image of Aphrodite herself,
The memory of her smile alone lights up the darkest side of my solitude.
The delicate perfection of the lotus flower is of no match to her eyes, maybe only comparable to the flapping wings of a lonely hummingbird carefully approaching the first of the dew covered flowers in  a sunny spring morning.
Evoking her name is enough to bring back memories of the first jasmine and cherry blossoms aroma on a hot spring morning on the Alhambra gardens.
There are no words to describe her absence, like a starless sky, a sunrise without the sound of the singing birds.
Knowing that memories of her will populate my thoughts on the day to come is what turns my nights bearable.
The possibility of meeting her in my dreams is my sleeping pill.
Living my days one at a time, moved by the hope that one day we meet, hold each other and hear from her lips that at least once I actually wondered through her thoughts.
Aug 2018 · 299
So called freedom
Samir Koosah Aug 2018
For I’ve been lost and found, only to be lost again.
Freedom seemed brighter on the other side of the fence,
plans seemed simpler, hopes higher.
There was time, a chance to enhance.
The rope suddenly seems tighter again.
None said it would be easy
to let go of these knots that tie me to my own prison.
In the end my own knots are the hardest ones to loosen.
Aug 2018 · 453
Thread of time
Samir Koosah Aug 2018
Light is now the measure of time
No clocks, watches, cell phones
All man made machinery are of no use
Civilization collapses within these walls
Treated like cattle, slowly losing grasp of civilized habits.
Grows inside anyone here a primal state.
In fear of taking the path to a medieval time
I lock myself inside my own utopia.
Like cavemen, hiding in a cave, crafting instruments out of pieces of bones,
Gathered around fires, playing games, measuring forces to take the alpha male position.
Why don’t I adapt? Have I gone too far down the yellow brick road? Should I have not tasted of the apple?
I won’t settle for less than the world. They seem to know not beyond the cave we live in.
Where has time gone? It seems to be going backwards
At a speed greater than the one of thoughts.
Is this an utopian apocalyptic future, or am I back to the stone age?
Aug 2018 · 237
Could it?
Samir Koosah Aug 2018
If life was made of certainties it would not be worth living, but right now, uncertainties drown me on an empty void. The only sure thing to expect right now is freedom, but even that is blurred by randomness of fate.
Aug 2018 · 297
VII
Samir Koosah Aug 2018
VII
This one day to be remembered.
This one number to be recalled.
Seven are the capital sins,
sure I’ve fell into a handful of them,
and for them I’ve been paying my share.
All matters considered, grateful for the lessons and gifts.
Seven is also an important date.
One of both sorrow and blessing.
“And on the seventh God rested”
And on the seventh of may I was gifted the most beautiful creature.
And on the seventh day of the following month,
then came the punishment.
To take thy punishment and turn into lessons,
to appreciate my wealth, my health, myself.
To hope.
Tonight, the dawn of the one seventh day of the seventh month
Hoping.
For her to be thinking of me [us(also)] as I think of her,
while I think of her, of our day.
For this new trail to bring our paths to a crossing.
Hoping.
(That) I haven’t driven her away by my mistakes, my misdeeds.
For hers are my thoughts, prayers and heart.
Aug 2018 · 685
Moonshine dream
Samir Koosah Aug 2018
Lost between words, buried by thoughts.
Tonight the distiller is dripping moonshine I drown my sorrows in.
The smoke of ****** marijuana mixed with tobacco takes over the gallery.
A handful of souls still awake. One thing in common we all have, the dream of freedom.
Killers, robbers, dealers, here one is no different than the next.
All government merchandise.
With the late hours of the night comes the silence.
As silence takes over, the hypnotic sound of the moonshine dripping from the distiller take one’s thoughts on a journey deep inside the mind.
Little by little the bottle fills up as the mind empties.
It is time the ghosts visit. Time to leave this place with them.
Cruising the known world in my mind. To be with the loved ones, at least on my imagination.
They seem to show up in waves. She is usually the first one. We talk, we dance, take long walks, but is never enough.
There is so much to know about her still.
Then come the friends, family. Eventually some actual ghosts even.
Slowly the moonshine and the writing give place to sleep.
The chance of meeting her in my dreams, moonshine inebriated.
Aug 2018 · 2.4k
Free Love
Samir Koosah Aug 2018
One more day, one night less. Memories seem to fade along with the sands of time. Paper and pen run scarce as my thoughts flow through them, flushing away all thoughts not worth the ink. Cards flying, dices rolling, but the clock hands don’t seem to spin.
Standing inside these walls while my mind drifts outside. Like a crow, through the bars and over the walls I travel. I can go anywhere, but there is no place I rather fly to than a place my mind needs yet to know. From all the places I’ve been to, all the people known to me, my heart always takes me to the same person. But where do we meet? There are not enough shared memories to fill this void, so every night a new one is created. Every night I take her to visit my own favourite time and places, in the hope that one day I can actually show her the world and create our own memories. But will she go? Am I worthy of this blessing? One can only hope, so that turned into a routine.
Life as is, reduced to a bi-modal state, echoing over two desires. The one where I am freed from the restraints on this place and the one where I get restrained in her arms. The latter one, true freedom.
Aug 2018 · 307
Life on bars
Samir Koosah Aug 2018
The full moon makes a shiny appearance, briefly, through the bars.
Not for more than five minutes she dances for me. Not for more than a glance, but enough for her face to again haunt my thoughts.
Darkness takes over the sky from where I stand, once again. But the mere faded memory of her light populates my thoughts with a glow of hope and joy. Sadness mixes with this joy, tears turn into courage when she smiles at me, her name echoes with every rhyming word, her face shows up on every shade, every single star brings back memories of her eyes.
Sleep now seems like my only ticket to be with her, so again I lay with none but my memories, hoping for her to visit my dreams.
Night has been my best companion. Alone, left with my thoughts and nothing else. Now I can be myself, can at last meet my beloved again. She awaits me in the realm of my dreams.
Time spent these days seem like a looping nightmare, and when finally asleep is when really I am alive and back in reality. Daytime feels a coma-like state.
I shall leap out of these bars and walls one day and never allow myself to daydream like this again, and my only warranty is that she will be with me, asleep or awake.
Apr 2017 · 255
Reason
Samir Koosah Apr 2017
I've found a reason, a reason to be, one to live
You were my reason
But I've lost you
I have lost my reason
I've lost it.
Mar 2017 · 226
**Self**
Samir Koosah Mar 2017
Silence or deafness, how should I take it
What can be worse,
Not to hear, or not to be told at all.
Love has its perks,
Some are not said, some are not listened at all.

— The End —