I scream to drown the noise,
And fight to hold my poise
Against this sonic wave
That dismantles and destroys.
This place that I called home…
It’s all that’s left of what I own.
I fear I’m destined to the desert,
Or somewhere desolate to roam.
Tried to convince my brain this wasn’t real –
That lies are all I feel.
I’m not sure why I fear this noise;
There’s nothing left for it to steal.
- - -
Yet, I plug my ears and scream;
Tear the stitching from my seams . . .
I find it difficult to sleep,
And near-impossible to dream.
I scream so hard it makes me sweat,
And my skin begins to gleam
This heat turns smiles into tears,
Like water into steam
My head begins to ache.
My hands begin to shake.
If I chose the wrong path,
I made one hell of a mistake.
While my lungs still permit,
I’ll keep their volume set on high,
Lifting my head to the clouds,
To scream at the sky.
I have yet to hear an answer,
And while I’m not much of dancer
I learned some steps from Lady Luck
In hopes to cure me of this cancer.
- - -
Now, I don’t believe in luck –
But she still left me with something . . .
While we danced I took notice;
The noise dulled slightly to a humming.
I looked back to Lady Luck
– and I’m sure this wasn’t just a dream –
But she had vanished to the air,
Like water into steam.
I said “I don’t believe in luck.”
She still left me something, though.
“You can’t predict the world –
I assume this much you know…
But if a farmer plants a seed,
In that spot, a plant will grow.”
One day, my throat gave out.
For no longer, could I shout.
And I don’t believe in luck,
So I was simply left with doubt.
I cursed that lady’s words.
I told myself that she was crazy.
When something caught my eye…
There - at my feet - grew a daisy.
A daisy… In the desert…
So despite how bad my head hurt,
I thanked God for Lady Luck.
I thanked God that I had met her.
The noise I heard was her opposite.
It was the presence of chance.
I've learned the farmer can’t predict the world,
But, as surely as seeds grow into plants . . .
My only choices are my actions.
So, I think I’ll take today to dance.
"Bad Luck: In a Wakeful Contradiction" is now available on Amazon in paperback!