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I see it in your eyes
You try to disguise
The smile on your face
But there’s fear inside

Fear of not being good enough
Not giving 100%
Fear of losing
Not being the best

Just be happy
In all you do
Living life is more of a challenge
Even if you don’t show
The fear on the outside

We are all hurting somehow
In many different ways
It’s how you take actions
To climb to the top of the mountain
 Nov 2021 Samir Koosah
She Writes
You asked me why I like you
But I didn’t want to tell
Some of my reasons are cheesy...
But here is why I fell

I love the way your lips curve
When I make you smile
It makes me want to pull you close
And kiss you for awhile

I love the way your eyes twinkle
When you talk about things you love
I truely believe
You are a gift from above

I love that you are compassionate
You have such a big heart
That was the first thing I noticed
Right from the start

I love the way it feels
When you hold me tight
I finally feel safe
Like I could sleep through the night

I love that you don’t judge me
For my less than perfect self
That is more attractive
Than any amount of wealth

There are so many more reasons
But I’ll start with just this few
Maybe someday
I’ll give this poem to you

I can love you more
I can slip into your bedroom at night
With your lights turned out
See you sleeping softly under the covers
Your face, lovely as ever
Your hair, an incomparable treasure
Your lips so seamlessly dreamy
Come to you, whisper caring words
In your left ear, hear your breath rise and fall
Get into bed with you, my arms enclosing you
Keeping you warm as I fall asleep with you
 Nov 2021 Samir Koosah
Ciel Noir
back in the day
it was okay
to say
one day
but not today

to wait was not
cause for regret
I did not need
to decide yet

it's fine
I still have time
but I am older
every time I blink

what I miss most
about the past
is having time to think
Maybe I have no heart as you do
That's why you don't love me
Maybe I have no soul as you do
That's why you don't care about me!
Maybe I am not perfect for you
That's why you don't respond to me!

I'll keep my promise when I did
I'll remember you till my last breath
I'll love you, darling, as I do yet
I'll pray for you till I'm alive on earth!
But maybe I'm nothing to you, baby
That's why you always ignore me!

I care about you; it's my pleasure
I do love you; it's my happiness
I think of you, though I'm hopeless
I dream of you; there, I'm a failure!
I wouldn't ask you to love me back
I would you not to blame me!
 Aug 2020 Samir Koosah
 Aug 2020 Samir Koosah
Legs shaking
Heart pounding
Teeth chattering
Chest tightening
Mind racing
Kind of night
Today I tried to run away
I did not have success,
The road was long,
The day too hot,
I fear I look a mess.
My long hair quite in disarray
My clothing, loose and free
People cry and point and try
to run away from me.
people say
is the color of love.
it is
the dusty shade of roses,
the hue of lips painted,
the shimmer of her dress
when you dance.

but really,
red screams of
it is
the shade of poppies in an empty field,
the hue you see when she leaves you,
the shimmer of book covers
in an empty library.

is a better color.
it is
the shade of muted sunsets,
the hue of vibrant music,
the shimmer of a light burning
on a dark evening.

makes up the embers of love,
burning bright and strong and fast
until it is

is the color of love.
 Jun 2019 Samir Koosah
Bad Luck
I scream to drown the noise,
            And fight to hold my poise
Against this sonic wave
            That dismantles and destroys.

This place that I called home…
            It’s all that’s left of what I own.
I fear I’m destined to the desert,
           Or somewhere desolate to roam.

Tried to convince my brain this wasn’t real –
           That lies are all I feel.
I’m not sure why I fear this noise;
           There’s nothing left for it to steal.

                        -         -         -

Yet, I plug my ears and scream;
         Tear the stitching from my seams . . .
I find it difficult to sleep,
         And near-impossible to dream.
I scream so hard it makes me sweat,
And my skin begins to gleam

                        This heat turns smiles into tears,
                         Like water into steam

My head begins to ache.
My hands begin to shake.
If I chose the wrong path,
             I made one hell of a mistake.
While my lungs still permit,
             I’ll keep their volume set on high,
Lifting my head to the clouds,
             To scream at the sky.

I have yet to hear an answer,
        And while I’m not much of dancer
I learned some steps from Lady Luck
        In hopes to cure me of this cancer.

                        -         -         -

Now, I don’t believe in luck –
But she still left me with something . . .
While we danced I took notice;
The noise dulled slightly to a humming.

I looked back to Lady Luck
– and I’m sure this wasn’t just a dream –
But she had vanished to the air,

                             Like water into steam.

I said “I don’t believe in luck.”
She still left me something, though.

She said:
                   “You can’t predict the world –
                      I assume this much you know…
                      But if a farmer plants a seed,
                      In that spot, a plant will grow.”

One day, my throat gave out.
For no longer, could I shout.
And I don’t believe in luck,
             So I was simply left with doubt.

I cursed that lady’s words.
I told myself that she was crazy.
       When something caught my eye…
       There - at my feet - grew a daisy.
A daisy… In the desert…
So despite how bad my head hurt,
I thanked God for Lady Luck.
         I thanked God that I had met her.

The noise I heard was her opposite.
               It was the presence of chance.

I've learned the farmer can’t predict the world,
But, as surely as seeds grow into plants . . .
                     My only choices are my actions.
                     So, I think I’ll take today to dance.
"Bad Luck: In a Wakeful Contradiction" is now available on Amazon in paperback!

she uses smallish words
medium, i guess
she wears converse
and she’s nice, i guess
she’s funny
and she cares
she’s stylish,

and i love her
but she doesn’t know
to what extent
i guess
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