can't breathe
want to leave
have to quit
can't do it
just a broken thing
a phone that doesn't ring
i'm worn out
want to cry and shout
someone end it please
i have an interior disease
pull the trigger
can't do it my self
go figure.

inhale
barely living, surviving
day dreams of being hit driving
crying myself to sleep
doesn't work to count sheep
hating who i am
minds a broken dam
thoughts flooding inside
i just want to hide
i never want to wake
nothing to give or take
feeling done with it all
fist punching the wall
am i mad
or am i sad
i don't know anymore
my inside is sore
i can't be fixed
feelings so mixed

exhale.

the first time i gave a guy head
it was in a strange house
in an unfamiliar bed.

i barely knew his first name
i acted like i had experience
treated it like a game

the first time i had ***
it was a similar experience
but hey- what'd you expect?

i was drunk on a bathroom floor
he ****** his tiny thing inside me
and after called me a *****

My first time was my last
he destroyed my confidence
i regret the past

I should title all these after you
but then it'd feel more true
you're still all i write about
i think of you and want to shout
i ate up your lies
you ignored my cries
and now it's you i despise
so i've cut all our ties
but then i see your picture
with her, her and her AND her
what's a girl to do
when all she ever knew
walked out the door
left her alone on the floor
i always think i'm over it
but it still does hurt a bit
                              
~S

we promise not to see each other
but i see you every night
i close my eyes
and know soon you'll be in sight

i time travel in my bed
back to you, back to us
to a future where we thrive
with no fights or mistrusts

it's torture to spend all night
with you in my head
and then when morning comes
wake up all alone in bed

i showed to much of myself to you
now i hide away
i regret letting you inside
every single day

2 yrs is not enough time
to get over losing me
it's not you that i miss
but who I used to be

i miss being open
and i miss all my friends
i pushed them all away
did a social cleanse

always wear a ***** face
to keep them all away
don't want them to stop &
ask is everything *okay?

i crave the taste
of stale cigarettes and beer
cuz it was the taste of your mouth
what happened here?

i long for
the misspelled drunk texts
that once annoyed me
phone buzzes i flinch, reflex.

i ache for
the feeling of your chest
under my head as i fall asleep
only way i could rest

i hunger for
your love
-all to myself
we never should of.